.:: Goldi's Noted Thoughts ::.
Sometimes I believe all the lies
so I can do the things I should despise.
And everyday I am swayed
by whatever is on my mind.

I hear it all depends on my faith
so I'm feeling precarious.
The only problem I have with these
mysteries is they're so mysterious.

And like a consumer I've been thinkin'
if I could just get a bit more...
More than my fifteen minutes of faith,
Then I'd be secure...

My faith is like shifting sand,
changed by every wave...
My faith is like shifting sand
so I stand on grace...
Stand on grace.

I begged You for some proof
for my Thomas eyes to see.
A slithering staff, a leprous hand,
and lions resting lazily.

A glimpse of Your backside glory
on this soaked altar going ablaze.
But You know I've seen so much,
I explained it away...

My faith is like shifting sand
changed by every wave...
My faith is like shifting sand
so I stand on grace

Waters rose as my doubts reign
My sand castle faith have slipped away
I found myself standing on Your grace
It'd been there all the time

My faith is like shifting sand
changed by every wave...
My faith is like shifting sand
so I stand on grace...
Stand on grace.

Life can seem unbearable at times, but don't let it keep you down. Meditate on God's goodness, talk to Him, and know that He hears you. When life knocks you to your knees, you're in a good position to pray.
Friday, January 28, 2005
I Love Quizzes
Took several quizzes today, and here's what I got:

What Kind of Soul Are You?




I'm completely down-to-earth!

Find your soul type
at kelly.moranweb.com.


You are the most in touch with knowledge. It's the tree of life from which you tap the sap. You know what you want and you know how to reasonably get it.

Virtues: You respect people with plans. When someone has their head on their shoulders, you know that they can see straightforward and keep their eyes on the mark. When it comes to looking at the future, you take a logical approach: what's within your ability? A fortunate attribute that you have is the ability to set a goal for yourself, higher than maybe you feel possible, but still keep yourself within reasonable bounds. You take the time to appreciate those surrounding you and they do appreciate you in return. Decision-making comes naturally to you when you take the time to consider each option. People only come to talk to you when they are looking for a logical, reasonable solution.

Aspirations: You have an idea of what you can do with your life, but you push it up a notch. You need a profession that you can enjoy, so work towards it. You want to live near your friends and family while being as far away as possible. You also want to settle down while working in excitement and variation.

Quirks: You don't appreciate drama queens and they don't appreciate you. When they need help, they won't seek you out because of your ability to see through their overly dramatic predicaments. You have leeway for humor, and sometimes love to participate in it, but when it becomes irrational behavior, others can count you out. Loud noises are bothersome, except when they come from you or your friends.

Factors: Reach for the sky! Don't decide to do something because you're merely good at it, but choose something you might like to do, despite whether you're sure you can master it or not. Don't only save room for a few empathetic friends, but open up to everyone.

Future: When looking for a job, if you work in all of your talents (logic, decision-making, planning, and definitely humor), you'll find yourself happy. Come to a compromise for location; live nearby your friends and take periodic vacations or live farther away and take frequent return trips.





How Your Attitude Ranks


Your Attitude is Better than 70% of the Population


If you scored...

80-100: You've got a winner attitude. You're always optimistic and cheery. Your personality will get you far in life.

60-79: You have a good attitude. While a realist, you do see the positive side of most things. People love to be around you.

40 - 59: You have a positive attitude... somtimes. You prefer to see the world through clear glasses, not rose colored ones.

20 - 39: You have an average attitude. You take the good and bad in life as they come. Though sometimes you could use a little more good.

0-19: You have a negative attitude. You tend to see the dark side of every situation. Free ice cream? No thanks, it will just make you fat!








You Are 11 Years Old


11



Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.


What Age Do You Act?

WHAT??? I act like an 11 years old??? This is surprising! I might act like a kid sometimes but I don't think I'd be acting like as young as someone under 12! Do I?






Your Dominant Intelligence is Musical Intelligence



Every part of your life has a beat, and you're often tapping your fingers or toes. You enjoy sounds of all types, but you also find sound can distract you at the wrong time. You are probably a gifted musician of some sort - even if you haven't realized it. Also a music lover, you tend to appreciate artists of all kinds.

You would make a great musician, disc jockey, singer, or composer.







Your Element Is Water


A bit of a contradiction, you can seem both lighthearted and serious. That's because you're good at going with the flow - but you also are deep. Highly intuitive, you tune in to people's emotions and moods easily. You are able to tap into deep emotional connections and connect with others. You prefer a smooth, harmonious life - but you can navigate your way around waves. You have a knack for getting people to get along and making life a little more peaceful.


posted by goldiqt @ 7:52 AM
(0) blessed me  
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
The Art of Letting Go
While reading this part of Elisabeth Elliot's Passion & Purity book, I was amazed at how exactly Beth was able to describe the process of letting go in this example.


The growth of all living green things wonderfully represents the process of receiving and handing over, gaining and losing, living and dying. The seed falls into the ground, dies as the new shoot springs up. There must be a splitting and a breaking in order for a bud to form. The bud "lets go" when the flower forms. The calyx lets go of the flower. The petals must curl up and die in order for the fruit to form. The fruit falls, splits, relinquishes the seed. The seed falls into ground...

There is no ongoing spiritual life without this process of letting go. At the precise point where we refuse, growth stops. If we hold tightly to anything given to us, unwilling to let it go when the time comes to let it go, or unwilling to allow it to be used as the Giver means it to be used, we stunt the growth of the soul.


This doesn't only apply to letting go of someone we have dearly loved, but applies to everything that we have been afraid of giving up. I have always wondered why we have to come to a point where we have to give up something that we have been comfortable of having. Now, seeing Beth's example in her book made me understand why. Most of the time, we become bitter to God when He takes something from us, the fact that everything in this world, including ourselves were owned by Him. Most of the time I find people questioning God very hard why He would take something when we have already found our happiness and comfort in that thing, while they will see the answer if they just looked around. Observing just how nature behaves (in the case of a flower) will give them the answer.

I've come to realize then that hard feelings are part of the process of letting go. We cry, we yearn, we regret, and we blame.But these are all part of preparing us to receive something better. As the saying goes, "Gold is purifed by fire".

We can't avoid going through the hardships of letting go, but this should not be a reason for us to stop at our tracks. Maybe we might put it this way: "I might have lost something that has become very important to me, but I know God is preparing something better, and so I should not worry about it. I should instead be thankful that I've had some time to experience the happiness that that thing had given me".

The end of the chapter goes like this:


The more you perceive God's purpose in your life, the less terrible will the losses seem. The seed does not "know" what will happen. It only knows what is happening---the falling, the darkness, the dying. We were being asked to trust, to leave the planning to God. God's ultimate plan was as far beyong our imaginings, as the oak tree is far from the acorn's imaginings.


God's answer to everything we don't understand is simple: TRUST ME.
posted by goldiqt @ 3:33 AM
(0) blessed me  
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Back Into Being a Familiar
This is my 4th day in graveyard shift. Panggabi na naman ako.. kakainis talaga. Balik na naman sa pagiging bampira (gising kasi pag gabi. sa umaga, tulog), or "familiar" as how Blade calls them. Inaantok nga ko palagi eh. Hindi naman ako makatulog dahil the Team Manager is always roaming. Tapos, pag-uwi ko naman sa bahay, hirap din ako matulog dahil yung oras ng tulog ko eh gising lahat ng tao. Hay naku. Ganun talaga.

I have been quite busy this week din. Parang almost everyday may naka-schedule akong gawin, not to mention the things I always choose to do later. My procrastination worsens. I have to do something about this before this turns into a hard habit to break, or a hard to break habit. Whatever.

Nag-inquire kasi ko ng computer short courses. First, I went to Informatics Ayala MRT branch, kaya lang hesitant ako dun kasi parang feeling ko, they won't be able to provide me what I need. Parang feeling ko hindi ako matututo dun eh. Then I went to Informatics the next day, this time dun naman sa branch nila sa Security Land building, just a few minutes walk from our building. Saka, masmukhang okay dun. So I got a list of their course offerings with the price in it. After that, dumaan ako ng Makati Medical Center para magpa-check up kasi hanggang ngayon, nasal pa rin ang voice ko, parang may sipon. Kaso, masyadong late na available yung doctor so I just decided to go there on my rest day.

Then next day, sa Mapua IT Center naman ako pumunta para mag-inquire. Dito lang din sya sa Makati. Their fees are a little higher compared to Informatics', pero tingin ko mas-ok sa Mapua. Sana nga lang, maka-generate ako ng enough money to finance myself. Ang mahal eh. Eh mahirap lang naman kami. Baka may pwedeng mag-sponsor dyan, willing akong maging scholar nyo. :P

Ngayon, walang masyadong calls. Madami kami masyado. Mas petiks ngayon ang graveyard shift kasi, meron akong additional skill for an account that is not directly under our team, na nag-uumpisang bumuhos ang calls around 4am hanggang 10am or 11am ata yun. At wala ka pang tigil kakasalita. Sobrang sakit nga ng lalamunan ko nung pang-umaga pa ko eh, kasi yung sa shift ko dati pumapasok lahat ng calls na yun. Kaya kahit papano, okay na rin ako sa panggabi. Medyo nakaka-relax relax. :)

Tapos nga pala, kilala nyo ba si Mikel Campos? Grabe, wala akong kamalay malay na palagi kong nakakausap ang kanyang kaisa isang kapatid! Eh ka-team ko pala ang kanyang nag-iisang kapatid, at seatmate ko pa! Tingnan mo nga naman oh... nagulat talaga ko nun. Eh andami kayang nagkaka-crush dun sa utol nya. I don't know, he might not be that famous, pero hindi maiiwasang tumatak ang kanyang face sa isipan ng mga girls, dahil heart throb ang guy na ito.

Hindi kasi halata eh (his brother). Napaka-humble kasi ng utol nya. Koboy. Ayos nga eh.
posted by goldiqt @ 2:43 AM
(0) blessed me  
Monday, January 17, 2005
Hahaha! *laughs*
I found this forwarded email message so funny. :)

Let me share this with y'all. ;)


For the girls: Here are some tips on how to turn "bolero" guys down..

HE: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice!!!

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

HE: Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.


hehehe... :P
posted by goldiqt @ 5:15 PM
(0) blessed me  
A Good Day Indeed
Yesterday was a great day. Not only that it's the Lord's day again and I get to worship Him together with my family in Christ, but also that I enjoyed their company and I had fun with them throughout the day. And also, yesterday opened me to an opportunity to have a ministry that I'll enjoy doing at the same time.

My day actually started by having a hard time deciding on where and what church will I go to. Then I decided to attend the service at Baclaran Church of Christ instead. It just went on like the normal, routinary Sunday and nothing extraordinary happened on the first half of my day. Then after the service, I went to Christ Church International in Casimiro because I felt like my sunday is not complete without spending at least a little part of it with my friends there. Then when I got there, I was surprised when Frani introduced me with one of the IT people of CCI, Kuya Ping. Frani knows very well that I love techie stuff and that I so longed to be or to have an IT related work but I lack the educational background to be in that field. I just thought that that was what Frani told Kuya Ping. It appears that they are currently needing manpower in their IT department, and they need someone to help them design the webpage of CCI. Kuya Ping inteviewed me then and asked me what programming languages I know. To my disappointment, I don't know any of what he mentioned, even the most basic. But I told him it's my passion and that I'm willing to learn. I even told him that I once planned to have a crash course on that, that I once planned to study PERL programming. He told me that what they need right now is one who knows database management software, particularly SQL, or at least the most common and basic, MS Access. And also, he asked me if I know how to make animations using Macromedia Flash. I'm familiar with the thing but I really don't know how to use it, but I also REALLY want to learn. Well, I'm not yet sure if they're already welcoming me in their IT department, but what I know is, they are willing to train anyone who's also willing to use it for ministry. I already saw it as an opportunity because not only will I be learning new stuff, but also I'd be able to use it for God. And I'm very willing to be trained. And I'm very excited.

After all of the stuff they do after their service like classes in School of Leadership and Pre-Encounter for those who'd be joining the Encounter with God retreat this week, Frani, Mac, and I decided to go out and watch a movie. We then went to SM Southmall to watch Meet the Fockers but to our disappointment, it's not yet showing in theaters. So we went to watch Kung Fu Hustle instead and we're satisfied. I was so amazed with the Kung Fu moves of those peeps, and how humble those Kung Fu masters stayed even they possess such great power. There I heard again the saying "with great power comes great responsibility". It was said at the part of the movie where the Kung Fu masters were retelling their story and how they lost their son at a battle, and so they swore that they won't fight and use their powers anymore, and to live like just ordinary people instead. But time came that their community was attacked by gangsters that were so determined to kill people whenever they wished, thus forcing them to unleash again their Kung Fu skills to save their people. I was really astonished with their moves, how they can defend themselves without using any weapon but their Kung Fu skills. Again, it made me wish I know Kung Fu too, at least a little. :) But then again, if you know much and if you have much, then much also will be demanded from you.

I just love to watch those kind of movies. :)
posted by goldiqt @ 1:38 PM
(0) blessed me  
Saturday, January 15, 2005
I Want Something...
Just Watched the Blade Trinity last night. And seeing the female vampire slayer there Abby, I came to know that...

I WANT AN IPOD!!!!!! A MINI IPOD!!!!

Will there be someone who'd be able to give me a gift like that? Hmmmm.... Wish ko lang...
posted by goldiqt @ 7:16 AM
(0) blessed me  
Monday, January 10, 2005
On Romantic Relationships
Had some serious talk with a former "special friend". This former "special friend" of mine wants everything to be like how we had it before. I really don't totally disagree with that, but I have made a decision right now to wait. Waiting in a sense that we could still have ample amount of time to get to know each other more and ourselves, and arrive to a conclusion that we really are serious about what's going on between the two of us, and how sure we are of what we feel for each other.

I like the way he responded to that. From how I saw it, he understood what I feel and he's willing to make space for it. I know I wasn't able to explain him very well what I really want to happen and why I want it, so I'm still having doubts if he really understood me. But if he told me he understand, I'd rather believe him. I'm giving him my trust, trust that what he told me is true. In the same way, I was grateful that he have given me his trust by understanding what and how I feel, even it may seem ambiguous to him.

It will take me a lot of space in this blog again before I could make a recount about it and explain everything, but having a talk with him made me recall what I have read in the books I bought about how to handle dating or courtship, and learning to put your love life under Christ's control which are the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris and "Passion and Purity" by Elisabeth Elliot. I would like to have my own words or expression about the topic, but seems at the time of this writing I can't think of how I'd write it here. So I will just put several lines in those books that made me think through deciding to be with him again, or to wait in God's time and allow ourselves to think over it.


from I Kissed Dating Goodbye
  • If we truly trust in Jesus Christ, we die to our old way of living. And we can no longer live for ourselves---we now live for God and for the good of others.
    "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4.
    Relationship with the opposite sex is not about "having a good time" or "learning what I want in a relationship". It's not about getting, but giving. Every relationship for a Christian is an opportunity to love another person like God has loved us. To want the person's purity and holiness because it pleases God and protects him or her. Christ taught that love is not for the fulfillment of self but for the glory of God, and for the good of others.


  • Love is expressed in self-control, patience, and even words left unsaid.


  • Waiting until I'm ready for commitment before pursuing romance is just one example of letting Christ's love control my relationships with the opposite sex. I'm learning to make God's Word, not my feelings, the guide.


  • True love is not measured or governed by feeling. By inflating the importance of feelings, we neglect the importance of putting love in action. When we evaluate the quality of our love for someone else simply by our own emotional fulfillment, we are being selfish. We express true love in obedience to God and service to others---not reckless or selfless behavior---and we choose these behaviors.


  • The joy of intimacy is the REWARD of commitment.


  • The best relationships are between two people who care more about each other's good than their own momentary pleasure.


  • True love waits. It waits for the right time to commit to God's brand of love---unwavering, unflagging, and totally committed. Committed. Sincere. Selfless. Responsible.


  • The Wycliff Bible Commentary says, "Love should not be stirred up before its proper time, because the love relationship, unless carefully guarded, may cause grief instead of the great joy it should bring to the human heart.

Basically, what Josh wants to impart in his book is to take into consideration the other person's view before God, specially his or her purity. We all know that getting into a relationship with the opposite sex expose us to being passionate and physically intimate with that person, which when not controlled leads us to sexual impurity. And when we commit such, we only not sin against God, but also ourselves. Other consequences are: we develop a guilt complex, negative consequences arise in your life, and your testimony is ruined.


from Passion and Purity
  • God's time for further revelation of the heart might come later. Tomorrow was not our business; it was His.


  • (On longing for that person and waiting in God's time for love) Taken in the right spirit, these things will give us patient endurance; this in turn will develop a mature character, and a character of this sort produces a steady hope, a hope that will never disappoint us. The effect of the troubles depends not on the nature of the trouble themselves but on how you receive them.


  • The deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our own way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able to honestly pray what He taught His disciples to pray: Thy will be done.

  • If you love someone, there are many things you will do for that person because you love him---not because it's what you'd prefer if love did not enter the picture.


  • It's the control of passion, not its eradication, that is needed.

On Elisabeth Elliot's Passion and Purity, this actually sums up to offering your love life and putting it under God's control, trusting Him that he will only give you the very best, and learning to wait in His time.


I just hope I could tell all of these to him, and hope he understands.

And to you my friend, "I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers." I Corinthians 1:16
posted by goldiqt @ 8:23 PM
(0) blessed me  
Monday, January 03, 2005
Past Year's Recount (Last Part)
So having gone through all of those troubles made me realize that I need God in every area of my life and so caused me to seek Him and get closer to Him. I have taken some steps to overcome all those guilts I'm carrying and all my awful feelings and the first thing I did is seek refuge in God through reading his word, praying, and help from Christian friends. Then I went to a retreat. An encounter with God retreat and from there we've had such activities like releasing all your worries and burdens and offering it to God, as well as forgiving the people who have wronged you including yourself. I wasn't able to ease off the weight of my burdens on those days I am on the retreat though. But in time, as I draw near to God and get involved in cell groups and group Bible studies, I was able to release everything.

So from there I was able to start everything anew, having left all of the disappointments and failures behind so I won't have any difficulties in going on and moving on, and decided to start off with a clean slate. And so I also decided to start this blog, so I can keep a record of my dealings online, and also to share it with everyone who gets to read it, and maybe this may serve as a testimony to them as well.

==================

Now, about the boyfriend thing, I don't allow myself to be pre-occupied by such thought as much as possible, though sometimes it just pops out of my mind. I have changed priorities, and so I have included that thing in one of those in the middle or bottom of my list. As what I have read in J. Harris's I Kissed Dating Goodbye book, I have make it a point to "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matthew 6:33), and have that thing included in the "all these things" that would be added to me by the Lord if I work towards His kingdom and righteousness first. This means putting my faith and trust with God. I admit this is not really an easy task, realistically speaking, and so that's why I have learned to stand on grace. The song Shifting Sand by Caedmon's Call says this better.

Sometimes I believe all the lies
so I can do the things I should despise.
And everyday I am swayed
by whatever is on my mind.

I hear it all depends on my faith
so I'm feeling precarious.
The only problem I have with these
mysteries is they're so mysterious.

And like a consumer I've been thinkin'
if I could just get a bit more...
More than my fifteen minutes of faith,
Then I'd be secure...

My faith is like shifting sand,
changed by every wave...
My faith is like shifting sand
so I stand on grace...
Stand on grace.

I begged You for some proof
for my Thomas eyes to see.
A slithering staff, a leprous hand,
and lions resting lazily.

A glimpse of Your backside glory
on this soaked altar going ablaze.
But You know I've seen so much,
I explained it away...

My faith is like shifting sand
changed by every wave...
My faith is like shifting sand
so I stand on grace

Waters rose as my doubts reign
My sand castle faith have slipped away
I found myself standing on Your grace
It'd been there all the time

My faith is like shifting sand
changed by every wave...
My faith is like shifting sand
so I stand on grace...
Stand on grace.
posted by goldiqt @ 1:24 PM
(0) blessed me  
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Who Am I? (Past Year's Recount continued)
Looking at my previous post about being awed by the love God gives us reminded me and made me sing this song by Point of Grace again, entitled "Who Am I".

Over time you've healed so much in me, I am living proof
That although my darkest hour had come
Your light could still shine through
Though at times it's just enough to cast a shadow on the wall
Well I am grateful that you shine a light on me at all

Who am I that you would love me so gently?
Who am I that you would recognize my name?
Lord who am I that you would speak to me so softly
Conversation with the love most high who am I

Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I'm found, was blind but now I see
And the more I sing that sweet old song, the more I understand
That I do not comprehend this love that's coming from your hand

Who am I that you would love me so gently?
Who am I that you would recognize my name?
Who am I that you would speak to me so softly
Conversation with the love most high... who am I

Grace, grace... God's grace
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within,
Grace, grace... God's great grace
Grace that is greater than all my sin

Who am I that you would love me so gently?
Who am I that you would recognize my name?
Lord, who am I that you would speak to me so softly
Conversation with the love most high... who am I

Who am I...
Who am I?
posted by goldiqt @ 7:27 AM
(0) blessed me  
Saturday, January 01, 2005
Past Year's Recount (Part 1)
January 1, 2005. Time passes swiftly. I can't imagine we have a new year again, and it seems like yesterday since we have celebrated the new year of 2004. This has been a cliche though. Seems like people don't notice the passing of time so much, because the memorable things that happened to them make every happening as vivid as like it just happened yesterday. Oh well, that also shows a very apparent truth. We're getting older fast.

I can actually say that the year that has just passed is one of the crucial years in my life. I have tried several new things, made some major mistakes, learned, and got up again from stumbling. It's when I had my second boyfriend, after having none for almost 3 years since my first one. Everything is vivid because I've had my boyfriend at the very start of that year.

You might have thought that I have been so happy starting my year with having a boyfriend. I thought so too. But seems like choosing to have a boyfriend at that time is not a very good idea. Or maybe it's not the time, but the boyfriend that I have chosen that spoiled everything. Whatever it is, some things did not really turn out right.

I'm not really totally dreading the idea of having a boyfriend last year, and I also don't want to give the idea that my ex is bad. Actually, he's nice. We have just gone through some things that later became a big regret for me. I have been also longing to have a special someone then, but it seems like I have done something wrong. I have actually figured out what it is (with the help of the Lord) but I can't give a detail of that in here since that would be too personal already and I have some members of the family who knows this blog and I'm just not comfortable with them knowing my very personal accounts. I might have written a detailed one if I have kept my identity concealed. Actually, I'm planning to make another blog maybe later, where I can write everything and the anonimity of identity kept.

Having a boyfriend then maybe at the wrong time, or prematurely, made me go through some consequences that made me realize I have turned on the wrong direction. But the thing is, it came to a point that I have gone too far and I thought everything was hopeless. I was very guilty then, and the qualms of my conscience made me feel like I have committed an unforgivable sin specially in the sight of the Lord. It's not really a big deal, considering that there are other people who commit a more serious offense than what I have done. It's just that I have never imagined I'd be able to do such a sin. It was something that I thought I was very strong of, but later realized that it is my weakness.

Going through all of that, it really made me feel heavy and casted out from God's love. I felt like I don't deserve to be loved by God, because I depended on my pride and own strength, that I'd be able to overcome such things because I am confident that I have developed the right defense against such. I have forgotten to put my trust in Lord at all times, that He is our only strength, and that He only becomes strong in us when we admit we are weak. In other words, total submission. Surrender. But at one particular area of my life, I have been totally self reliant or trusting of my own strength and understanding, when what I should have done is "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5. It was also then that I totally understood that God's love is immeasurable, and God's grace is indescribable. What happened made me grow closer to God, and that's when I have fully understood his grace. God will not look at what you have done if you not only feel totally sorry of the mistake you have done, but also that you are willing make a "U" turn from it. In other words, total change of direction. Stopping on your tracks and pointing to the right direction. Putting an end on the wrong you're doing and totally turning away from it, never coming back from it. I have underestimated God's love and forgiveness for us. It made me cry when I knew how much he loves us and willing to forgive us, no matter what we have done. Just like the story of the prodigal son.

I'd like to share again, this song by Point of Grace, which talks about God's love and forgiveness, shown through Christ Jesus. The title of the song is Jesus Doesn't Care.

You tell me no one would love you
If they could see deep inside
You say your friends might desert you
If they knew the truth you hide

But there's one who knows you better
than you know yourself
And He still loves you more
than anybody else

Jesus doesn't care what you've done before
How you've rebelled or slammed the door
No matter how far you've run
Or how long you've been untrue
Jesus doesn't care, He still offers forgiveness to you

For so long you've run from the Father
Into a life of sin
And each time He lovingly called you
You turned your back on Him

No matter if your failures
are great or small
There's no way to hide them
He already knows them all

Jesus doesn't care what you've done before
How you've rebelled or slammed the door
No matter how far you've run
Or how long you've been untrue
Jesus doesn't care, He still offers forgiveness to you

How many tears will you cry
'Til you cry out to the Father so many tears
Have honest plea for mercy He will not deny
Trust Him and you're gonna find...

That Jesus doesn't care what you've done before
How you've rebelled or slammed the door
No matter how far you've run
Or how long you've been untrue
Jesus doesn't care, He still offers forgiveness to you
posted by goldiqt @ 3:08 PM
(0) blessed me  
About This Blog
I don't intend this to be my life's chronicles but I might write some of my experiences here. Even so, everything that's written in here are either products of my excessive contemplation, or just plainly, pure boredom. In any case, I still try to write as sensible as possible, for what I really intend to do and I hope is achieved in every writing, is to impart or share some of the things I learn and sometimes, some struggles in life. Don't expect all seriousness in everything in here though.

In short, this blog is my outlet. My noted thoughts and reflections.

About Me

Yahoo! Avatars

Name: Goldi

Home: Pasay City, Philippines

Birthday: June 2

Hobbies & Interests: Jesus, music, books, journals, internet, computers, tech stuff, gadgets * sound tripping, singing, playing musical instruments (I know guitar and flute recorder, I just wish I can play them well), watching movie with a tub of popcorn drizzled with melted butter (yum!), reading * observing, pondering, reflecting, learning * laughing or making people laugh (though I'm not good at it) and laugh with them, make people smile, or just listen to their stories. Minsan, trip ko lang din mang-asar =p

About Me: I'm a simple, idealistic but down-to-earth, & friendly person. Quiet most of the time, but friendly enough to have a nice talk (or even a hearty laugh) with anyone. "I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20 NLT

Principles I live by:

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4

"If people talk negatively about you, live in such a way that no one will believe them."

"God is a God of happy endings. If you're not yet happy, it's not yet the end."

"It's not what we know but what we do that counts." -Our Daily Bread

"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." -Dumbledore, Harry Potter 2

"Girls should assume that until a guy expresses interest, they're just friends." -J. Harris, Boy Meets Girl

"True love doesn't just wait; it plans." -Boy Meets Girl

"Eros will have naked bodies; friendship naked personalities." -C.S. Lewis

"Ideals are like stars; we will not succeed in touching them with our hands but by following them, as the sea faring man in the ocean, we will reach our destiny." -J. Harris, Boy Meets Girl

Food for the Soul
Verse of the Day


Daily Wisdom
SayBox

Currents
Today is...

Time now is...

Manila, Philippines

Previous Posts
Precious Moments
Hand-Formed Pots
Say What? (Guarding Our Tongue)
Love Thoughts
Focus
The Art of Letting Go
On Romantic Relationships
The Difference
Close the Gates
Work Hard
Loving Your Sister
Thank you Lord
Archives
Blogsters

Cool Links
Kamsahamnida!

I've been visited by...
Angels
Thanks for droppin' by.
See you again ^_^.