Life can seem unbearable at times, but don't let it keep you down. Meditate on God's goodness, talk to Him, and know that He hears you. When life knocks you to your knees, you're in a good position to pray.
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Close the Gates
After a round of golf, a British statesman and his friends walked through the field where cows were grazing. The men were so absorbed in their conversation that they forgot to close the gates when they left the fence area.
The statesman happen to notice the open gate however and went back to close it. Then he told his friends that this little incident reminded him of a doctor who was dying and was asked by a minister whether there was anything he wanted to say before he slipped away. "No," the doctor replied, "except that through life, I think I have always closed the gates behind me." The dying man have learned to put failures and disappointments behind him so they wouldn't rob him of his joy and peace.
excerpt from Our Daily Bread
I first heard that story from our pastor one time when he was saying his sermon at the pulpit. Actually it reminded me of a quote that was sent to me by a friend. It's what the doctor said.
I cried after the sermon, during the prayer, because I remembered all my iniquities and how I have managed to keep them with me, forgetting that God is merciful enough to forgive all of that.
It was during those times that I'm still carrying the burden of the sin I have committed. I cried because I suddenly felt God's love, God's grace. I can't believe that despite I have wronged him, he still forgives me. The sin I have committed is such a big deal to me because it is something I have promised myself and God that I will not do until the right time comes. I have relied on my own strength, going into something that I didn't know was already out of my control. I was so stupid to have thought that I am strong enough and well equipped to not do such thing, but boy I was so wrong.
I also cried because our pastor told something about what he's been going through. I have read on one of Jenny's posts about people having an easier recollection of one's mistakes than the good one's they have done.
Our pastor recounts the times when he was being persecuted because of his being so dominant (he really did become dominant), and that he wants everything done in his way, even if other members do not agree. And he always has a way humiliating someone in front of the crowd (I've been a victim of that), and getting back at some members at the pulpit. And not only that, he doesn't commit his mistakes. He'll talk to the person he have wronged and say sorry, but in the end he will tell that person that it is his or her fault why he was able to do that. Well, that was before.
I have been a witness of our pastor's movement to change. He's been trying, hard enough, until now to correct all the mistakes and the bad traits he have. He still have a struggle on eating his pride though, but most of the changes are so apparent now that I can feel his sincerity in doing it. He have learned to humble himself and give way to others, sometimes sacrificing his own for the benefit of his brothers and sisters in Christ.
But inspite of the changes he's been doing, he tells us that he's still receiving some sms or text messages, letters and some hearsays from some members of the church about the bad things he has done. Too bad it's happening within inside the church, the place where people were supposed to uplift encourage, and strengthen everyone, rather than try to put them down or pull them down or push them down when they try to stand up. I'm not saying that all of them behaved like that. I was referring to those who are immature yet and.. you know what I'm talkin' about. Well, we can't really avoid that. People have lost their trust. Besides, he's a pastor and he should be an example of what and how a Christian should be. I know, he's only suffering the consequences of what he has done before, but I can feel his agony because he's already trying to change. But the people keeps reminding him of the wrong things he has done. He's in pain because people will always remind you and tell your face of what you have done wrong, they always have a way of remembering even the earliest mistakes you've committed. It just seems like they don't see your effort in correcting those shortcomings. They are blinded by those flaws, or rather distracted by it, because no matter how little the defect is, it's what will always get noticed. Just like a speck in a very white cloth.
I cried because I felt his pain. I know what he's going through is hard. But I know, if he really has faith in God, all that is happening to him right now will strengthen in him in the future.
Going back on mine, it is just when I heard this message that I was enlightened, that the God of love will love me and forgive me no matter what I have done. I was so down that forgot to hold on to his promise in 1 John 1:9 which says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sinsand purify us from all unrighteousness". I was already thinking then that I was already hopeless, that I am so unworthy of his love. But that's what grace is all about. Being loved, and receiving something we are not worthy to receive.
I prayed to God then, thanking Him of his great love. I was crying with tears of joy. I can't believe I am being accepted, and cleansed of all the dirts of the past. I have learned to close the gates, put my failures and disappointments behind, go on and start a new life. God has given me another chance.
Of course closing the gates doesn't just mean shutting the doors behind, it also means locking them and never opening them again. It's not doing again what you have done before. Total turning back. Or in other words, REPENTANCE. Though at first it's hard to leave behind, specially if it's addiction to something, or something that has become a bad habit and totally destroyed your being, by God's mercy and grace, everything is achievable if we just believe and put our trust in Him. God is very capable of giving us a new life. Paul said in his letter to the Romans "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ...(Romans 5:1)". I have learned to accept God's forgiveness and be at peace. I have eased out the burdens of the past, and is now moving on with the new life God has given me.
In the same way, closing the gates also means admitting we have sinned to others or forgiving others if they have sinned against us. Admit it, it's not comfortable if you just had a quarrel with someone. If we have misunderstanding with someone, instead of allowing the irritation to fester, we should go to that person and make things right. Matthew 18:15 says, "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you." And remember to always have a humble heart, because it wouldn't be settled if you'll just blame each other.
Let's close the gates to the failures and disappointments of the past, then move on. :)
I don't intend this to be my life's chronicles but I might write some of my experiences here.
Even so, everything that's written in here are either products of my excessive contemplation, or just plainly, pure boredom.
In any case, I still try to write as sensible as possible, for what I really intend to do and I hope is achieved in every writing,
is to impart or share some of the things I learn and sometimes, some struggles in life. Don't expect all seriousness in everything in here though.
In short, this blog is my outlet. My noted thoughts and reflections.
About Me
Name: Goldi
Home: Pasay City, Philippines
Birthday: June 2
Hobbies & Interests: Jesus, music, books, journals, internet, computers, tech stuff, gadgets * sound tripping, singing, playing musical instruments (I know guitar and flute recorder, I just wish I can play them well), watching movie with a tub of popcorn drizzled with melted butter (yum!), reading * observing, pondering, reflecting, learning * laughing or making people laugh (though I'm not good at it) and laugh with them, make people smile, or just listen to their stories. Minsan, trip ko lang din mang-asar =p
About Me: I'm a simple, idealistic but down-to-earth, & friendly person. Quiet most of the time, but friendly enough to have a nice talk (or even a hearty laugh) with anyone. "I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20 NLT
Principles I live by:
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4
"If people talk negatively about you, live in such a way that no one will believe them."
"God is a God of happy endings. If you're not yet happy, it's not yet the end."
"It's not what we know but what we do that counts." -Our Daily Bread
"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." -Dumbledore, Harry Potter 2
"Girls should assume that until a guy expresses interest, they're just friends." -J. Harris, Boy Meets Girl
"True love doesn't just wait; it plans." -Boy Meets Girl
"Eros will have naked bodies; friendship naked personalities." -C.S. Lewis
"Ideals are like stars; we will not succeed in touching them with our hands but by following them, as the sea faring man in the ocean, we will reach our destiny." -J. Harris, Boy Meets Girl
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