Life can seem unbearable at times, but don't let it keep you down. Meditate on God's goodness, talk to Him, and know that He hears you. When life knocks you to your knees, you're in a good position to pray.
Thursday, November 25, 2004
Ano na?
Almost 3 days ago lang pala since my last post, feeling ko, antagal tagal ko nang di nagb-blog. Akala ko nagmukha nang patay ang blog ko, walang updates. Wala ring nagta-tag. Naisip ko nga, kung gina-gagamba lang siguro to, baka nagmukha na tong haunted blog.
Ang OA ko naman. Eh yun ang naiisip ko eh. :D
Ano nga ba'ng nangyari sa kin? Simula nung magpalit kami ng schedule ni Gill, parang nasira lahat ng scheduled activities ko eh. Biglang tinamad ang katawan ko at isip ko na gawin ang ibang bagay. Grabe, di na ko sanay na mag-graveyard shift. Hirap ako makatulog pag umaga. Kaya tuloy, iba din ang takbo ng utak ko. Parang ang gulo gulo, hindi ko alam kung anong iisipin ko. Samantalang nung pang-umaga ko, andami kong naiisip na isulat dito sa blog, ngayon, parang wala namang kwenta.
Napabayaan ko pa yung ministry ko. I was not able to meet with my cell group last saturday. Hindi rin ako nakapunta sa mentoring program. Hay naku..
Di bale, sandali na lang naman 'to eh. Next week, AM shift na uli ako. Di ko pa alam ang mangyayari, kasi nasira ang sched ko eh. Baka i-organize ko na lang ulit. Siguro by that time, maayos na takbo ng utak ko.
I have been thinking of my previous post since I have posted it and read it. Lalo na nung nakita kong naka-post na sya dito, sobrang kontra sa theme ng blog. well, I've just been true to myself, but I have also been a bad example.
Though I have the option to delete that entry anytime, something inside me still holds me, and something says that what I did is wrong and that it is so ungodly. I chose to listen at the first voice though and now I am experiencing the consequences of guilt, and being rebuked by my fellow Christians.
Sorry dun sa mga na-hurt sa post ko. Specially dun sa taong nakainisan ko.
Maybe I'll just have that post removed. delete delete delete....
Hay naku... some people have a way of ruining your day naman talaga oh... I thought everything will be fine today until I get to talk to this guy whose name I won't mention for his own sake na rin no. Besides, I don't really want writing something bad against people pero nainis talaga ko eh. What will I be writing here is what I only feel.
Dapat nga. ipo-post ko pa yung conversation namin dito para the session will speak for itself na lang, kaso nabura ko na. Saka pati baka yung ibang part maging OA ang pagka-describe ko. Eh wala eh, nabura ko na eh.
Paano ba naman, we're talking just fine, lam mo yun, yung typical na kumustahan to start the conversation. Sa chat kami nagkukwentuhan. I was busy searching for infos on computer parts in the internet then because we're planning to buy a new pc, kaya tanong ko sa kanya kung me alam syang maganda. Tech Support Rep ang guy na ito sa isang call center, and syempre, very knowledgeable sya sa computers kaya I know he's one of the best people to ask about pc's (marami pa kasi kong friend na techy din eh).
Di yun, this guy is nice din naman kahit papano. He agreed to help me in searching for the right parts for the pc. Saka, tingin ko, me pagka-alaskador tong taong to eh, parang yun yung klase ng humor nya. Minsan, nagjjoke sya ng ganun.
Nagtanong ako sa kanya about processors. Recommended nya is Intel. I know naman Intel is the best when it comes to processors. Tapos, me friend ako na nagwwork sa Intel, nakwento ko sa kanya na napagtanungin ko din si friend from Intel kung ano, and he said na wala naman daw masyadong difference ang Intel and AMD, except for the price. Masmura dw ang AMD pero ngayon dw, competitor na sila ng Intel when it comes to processors. and the converstaion went on like that.
Eh kaso, itong TSR boy, nag-comment pa kasi. ECE kasi yung aking friend from Intel, aba mag-comment ba naman ng "what does an ECE know about computers?" and the rest of his remarks goes like this: "sigurado ka bang sa Intel sya nagtatrabaho? Saang Intel daw? Saan ba'ng office ng Intel?" Tapos sinagot ko, "sa Cavite." Then he replied, "Ows, walang Intel sa Cavite, nasa Laguna. Sa intel ba talaga nagwwork yang friend mo?", then merong laughing emoticon.
Anak ng tetorts, sino kayang mas katawa-tawa ngayon sa min? He's laughing pa huh. He make me sound like I'm being fooled by my friends or that my friend is a lunatic at nangangarap lang sya na sya'y isang empleyado ng intel. At eto pa, nagtanong pa ng "ano naman daw ang dini-design niya?" I haven't even breathed out my answer when he followed it with, "eh printer nga hindi makapagdesign ang pinoy eh" ( I can't remember the others eh), and then followed with another emoticon, this time it's rolling on the floor while laughing. Basta he's making it sound like a big joke. Making the matters worse, sabi pa nya, kung alam daw nyang pinoy ang nag-dedesign ng pc nya, hindi na daw sya bibili. Hindi ba't napakagandang isipin na yan ay nanggaling pa sa bibig ng isang pinoy din? Talaga naman...
I was really holding my temper that time, kaya lang, no matter how I remained calm through the conversation, my words showed my annoyance din. He keeps on laughing kasi eh. You know how it feels when you're being laughed at diba? But that's really not the reason why I fumed, okay lang sa kin yun. Sanay na kong napagtatawanan. Saka, mali din naman yung mga pinagsasabi nya eh. He thinks he very well know the subject, my gaz, kelan pa ba nagkaroon ng Intel sa Laguna? Ako pa nga ang dapat matawa eh. What really got me there is he really sound like he knows everything. Hay ewan. Kung babasahin nyo ang hates ko sa side panel, isa yan sa mga ugaling pinaka-aayawan ko. Ang pinaka gumawa talaga ng spark eh nung sinabi nyang "What does an ECE know about computers?" As if ECE peeps are that dumb when it comes to pc. Kita mo ha, simpleng bagay lang yan, processor. Hay naku, ewan.
Ang yabang talaga, kainis. Meron tuloy akong nasabing hindi maganda. Di ko napigilan eh. Minsan kasi pag naiinis kasi, I tend to be sarcastic. Pero syemps, hindi ko pinapahalata. When he asked kung ano daw ang dini-design nila dun, sabi ko hindi naman yung buong part ang dinidesign nila dun eh, chip lang. Tapos nasabi ko tuloy, "You don't know anything about electronics". O my gaz! Ampangit pa ng pagkasabi ko. Yun ang na-type ko e. Pasensya na. Parang bumalik tuloy sa kin. Mahirap talaga pag di mo nako-control ang sarili mo. Maraming maling bagay na mangyayari.
Syempre, binawi ko. And I said sorry kung na-offend ko sya. Eh kaso mukha ngang na-offend eh, sabi sa kin, tanungin daw nya ko ng tungkol sa electronics. Nung sinabi ko yun, I was not really speaking for myself, but for ECE friend. Di sinabi kong hindi ko naman masasagot lahat ng tanong nya (may electronics background din kasi ko eh), saka HINDI KO INA-ASSUME NA ALAM KO LAHAT (nga lang, yung dating ng sinabi ko parang ganun. hehehe.. engerts). That was written in capital letters (dito lang ha) kasi that's really said sarcastically, I was talkin' bout him there. Tapos, sinabi kong ang ibig kong sabihin eh manufacturing ng electronics at hindi yung mga formula formula at mga voltage whatsoever na mga computations at kung ano ano pang theories sa electronics, mahina talaga ko dun, pero sa manufacturing, nagtrabaho ako sa electronics company kaya may alam ako. Eh kung makapagsalita naman kasi sya parang alam na alam nya e. And so I apologized ulit.
Eh parang ayaw nang paawat eh. Natamaan ko ata ego nya. Well kaya din ako nakasagot ng ganun dahil yun din ang tinamaan nya sa kin eh. Kaya pangit yang me malalaking ego, dapat talaga yan kinakain. Dami kang makakaaway kung lagi yan ang paiiralin mo. Ayun, kung ano ano na sinabi. Hacker kasi itong si TSR guy kaya pinagsasabi nya sa kin ang specifications ng pc na ginagamit ko, hindi ko naman tinatanong. At may sini-send pang file in na .jpg format which at that time, I'm already doubting na jpg nga yun kaya hindi ko ina-accept. Eh kung napikon ko nga talaga sya eh, why would he send me something na hindi ko naman hinihingi? If it's a jpeg, he could have just uploaded it somewhere and give me the url address para makita kesa dadaan pa sa hassle ng pagddownload ng file (at syempre, yung security ng system masasalang), diba? Mabuti na yung maingat no.
At kung ano ano pang mga tech stuff ang pinagsasabi nya na for me already appears like french. Wala na ko maintindihan. Sabi ko na lang, ok. ok. ok. ok.
At nagdisconnect na muna ko sandali, dahil puro script error tong yahoo messenger sa pc na to. Buti na lang, natapos na.
After a round of golf, a British statesman and his friends walked through the field where cows were grazing. The men were so absorbed in their conversation that they forgot to close the gates when they left the fence area.
The statesman happen to notice the open gate however and went back to close it. Then he told his friends that this little incident reminded him of a doctor who was dying and was asked by a minister whether there was anything he wanted to say before he slipped away. "No," the doctor replied, "except that through life, I think I have always closed the gates behind me." The dying man have learned to put failures and disappointments behind him so they wouldn't rob him of his joy and peace.
excerpt from Our Daily Bread
I first heard that story from our pastor one time when he was saying his sermon at the pulpit. Actually it reminded me of a quote that was sent to me by a friend. It's what the doctor said.
I cried after the sermon, during the prayer, because I remembered all my iniquities and how I have managed to keep them with me, forgetting that God is merciful enough to forgive all of that.
It was during those times that I'm still carrying the burden of the sin I have committed. I cried because I suddenly felt God's love, God's grace. I can't believe that despite I have wronged him, he still forgives me. The sin I have committed is such a big deal to me because it is something I have promised myself and God that I will not do until the right time comes. I have relied on my own strength, going into something that I didn't know was already out of my control. I was so stupid to have thought that I am strong enough and well equipped to not do such thing, but boy I was so wrong.
I also cried because our pastor told something about what he's been going through. I have read on one of Jenny's posts about people having an easier recollection of one's mistakes than the good one's they have done.
Our pastor recounts the times when he was being persecuted because of his being so dominant (he really did become dominant), and that he wants everything done in his way, even if other members do not agree. And he always has a way humiliating someone in front of the crowd (I've been a victim of that), and getting back at some members at the pulpit. And not only that, he doesn't commit his mistakes. He'll talk to the person he have wronged and say sorry, but in the end he will tell that person that it is his or her fault why he was able to do that. Well, that was before.
I have been a witness of our pastor's movement to change. He's been trying, hard enough, until now to correct all the mistakes and the bad traits he have. He still have a struggle on eating his pride though, but most of the changes are so apparent now that I can feel his sincerity in doing it. He have learned to humble himself and give way to others, sometimes sacrificing his own for the benefit of his brothers and sisters in Christ.
But inspite of the changes he's been doing, he tells us that he's still receiving some sms or text messages, letters and some hearsays from some members of the church about the bad things he has done. Too bad it's happening within inside the church, the place where people were supposed to uplift encourage, and strengthen everyone, rather than try to put them down or pull them down or push them down when they try to stand up. I'm not saying that all of them behaved like that. I was referring to those who are immature yet and.. you know what I'm talkin' about. Well, we can't really avoid that. People have lost their trust. Besides, he's a pastor and he should be an example of what and how a Christian should be. I know, he's only suffering the consequences of what he has done before, but I can feel his agony because he's already trying to change. But the people keeps reminding him of the wrong things he has done. He's in pain because people will always remind you and tell your face of what you have done wrong, they always have a way of remembering even the earliest mistakes you've committed. It just seems like they don't see your effort in correcting those shortcomings. They are blinded by those flaws, or rather distracted by it, because no matter how little the defect is, it's what will always get noticed. Just like a speck in a very white cloth.
I cried because I felt his pain. I know what he's going through is hard. But I know, if he really has faith in God, all that is happening to him right now will strengthen in him in the future.
Going back on mine, it is just when I heard this message that I was enlightened, that the God of love will love me and forgive me no matter what I have done. I was so down that forgot to hold on to his promise in 1 John 1:9 which says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sinsand purify us from all unrighteousness". I was already thinking then that I was already hopeless, that I am so unworthy of his love. But that's what grace is all about. Being loved, and receiving something we are not worthy to receive.
I prayed to God then, thanking Him of his great love. I was crying with tears of joy. I can't believe I am being accepted, and cleansed of all the dirts of the past. I have learned to close the gates, put my failures and disappointments behind, go on and start a new life. God has given me another chance.
Of course closing the gates doesn't just mean shutting the doors behind, it also means locking them and never opening them again. It's not doing again what you have done before. Total turning back. Or in other words, REPENTANCE. Though at first it's hard to leave behind, specially if it's addiction to something, or something that has become a bad habit and totally destroyed your being, by God's mercy and grace, everything is achievable if we just believe and put our trust in Him. God is very capable of giving us a new life. Paul said in his letter to the Romans "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ...(Romans 5:1)". I have learned to accept God's forgiveness and be at peace. I have eased out the burdens of the past, and is now moving on with the new life God has given me.
In the same way, closing the gates also means admitting we have sinned to others or forgiving others if they have sinned against us. Admit it, it's not comfortable if you just had a quarrel with someone. If we have misunderstanding with someone, instead of allowing the irritation to fester, we should go to that person and make things right. Matthew 18:15 says, "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you." And remember to always have a humble heart, because it wouldn't be settled if you'll just blame each other.
Let's close the gates to the failures and disappointments of the past, then move on. :)
Did some blog hoppin' today. I always visit other blogs, it has already become my habit. Been doing that since I started blogging. I really like to read other people's writings. I find it amusing knowing how other people live their lives, and how they see certain things.
I planned to write something in here last night, when I get home from church, but I was so tired that I just dozed off as soon as my body touched the bed. I was not even able to say my prayers for the day, nor write something in my journal or read a book. I was too tired.
It has been several days since I wrote something in here, and it's just about some things that happened to me during that day. I'm not used to writing about what happened to me on a certain day, without writing some insights about it. It's my way of evaluating kasi what happened over the day, and checking if I missed something important, that is intangible. Gusto ko kasing makita kung anong message sa kin ni God sa bawat araw ng buhay ko na binibigay nya sa kin. I also want to see if I made something wrong, and then find a way how to correct it. Evaluation ba. That's also the reason why I keep a journal, para may record ako ng naisip ko ng araw na yun.
Ngapala, we watched the movie The Incredibles last night. Grabe! I like it! Sobra. I love cartoons kasi. Saka, ang galing ng effects. Naaliw ako. Kakatawa pa yung tawa ng mga bata na nanonood din, kaya nakaka-engganyo din tumawa.
But of course, like all the cartoons, this also has a lesson to learn. I don't really want to tell anything about the movie so as not to take the suspense out of those who haven't seen it. But I really just want to write something about it so I will try my best not do that. Basta, I'm giving it a rating of 5 star. :)
The story is about a family of supers, that has been forced by the society to fit in, or just live like anyone else. And that is really difficult for them. It's like forcing you to be not yourself.
What I liked in Mr. Incredible's character is his desire to help others without making himself popular because of his good deeds. He can't stand doing nothing when he knows he ought to do something. He's aware that the powers that he have are to be used with a good purpose and that it was not given to him for nothing or for show off just like all the other super heroes in the story. Afterall, they will not be called superHEROES if not for that.
This attitude reminds me of one of Jesus's commandments. Mr. Incredible clearly exercised what Peter said in 1 Peter 4:1.
Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. (1 Peter 4:1 NIV)
The agony that Mr. Incredible feels whenever he doesn't do anything in a situation where he feels his help is needed is also in the Bible. Though he's not required by the people around him to do something about it, his instincts tells him that it's stupidity if you're just standing there doing nothing when the situation clearly says that his help is badly needed. Like the famous quote of Spiderman "with great power comes great responsibility", which can also be found in the Bible as "...From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted much, much more will be asked. (Luke 12:48) " and "Now it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove faithful. (1 Cor. 4:2)", each one of us should use whatever gift, power, strength, talent, however you call it in a useful way, for the benefit of ourselves and the others. These "powers" were not given to us in vain. We have to use it wisely, if we don't want it to be taken from us.
Well, in the case of the Incredible family, those are powers that they didn't ask for. In fact, the kids are just wishing they were not created special, because they can't be themselves. They are not allowed to use their powers. They find it difficult to have such great power because the society wouldn't allow them to use it. You will know why when you watch the story. :)
Well the powers were not taken from them because they are useless, they are born with it. So they have no choice but to do something about it. Though deprived of the freedom to use their powers, time came that they are used to save mankind. And they find it fulfilling.
I highly recommend the movie for watching, specially for kids. I'm not sure if every adult would be able to appreciate it if they are not so fond of cartoons, but it's really fun watching. I've had a good laugh.
I've had the things I'll be doing for the week planned.. but of course, may mga bagay na mangyayari nang hindi mo inaasahan.
Sabi ko kasi, I'll be digging more on our cell group's topic this week, which is about "being sexually pure". My plan was to study on that for the whole week, kasi nman, I got used to my daily work na hindi naman ganun ka-toxic... until dumating tong email campaign na to, which caused me to render an overtime work pa. I didn't have much time tuloy to work on the things I've planned to think about and do for the whole week (like planning my daily expenses, writing something on this blog, dig deeper on our cell group's topic, I can't even have a quite time [though I pray nman before I go to sleep, and I like it kasi I used to have difficulties in praying before sleeping, sobrang pagod na kasi or antok]. I can't even get to read the books I want to read). Unexpected talaga ito. Pero ngayon, medyo okay na naman. They have decided to put a halt on the doing the email muna kasi most of them are bogus. Buti na lang.
Today, I put a scrolling text at the top of this blog's title. Yan yung pinaka-theme song ko at this point of my life. That's what I feel everyday. And I also love that song.
Nyahahaha! andaming email sa queue! nag-OT tuloy ako... 2 hours lang. masyado akong gagabihin ng uwi eh. Sobrang toxic. Hindi ako pa ako nageemail aux kaya ngarag na ko. Andami nang tawag, me emails pa! what a day.
Haaay... I've been eating a lot these days. Well, actually this is what I really want to happen. I'm so thin and I don't have much appetite on food, so I decided to buy a vitamin that will make me eat a lot. And it's doing good... well almost. I should have been satisfied on its effect on me. However, I think it's too much because I can't stop craving for food. I feel hungry all the time. Specially when I was still taking full doses (the instructions say to take the vitamins twice a day, I've reduced it to 1 a day), there are times when I already can't breathe because I'm so full! Well, right now, I've already gained weight (though I haven't weighed yet), I assumed I did because I got lean. I used to be so thin, like I'm only skin and bones (haha!). Not now. I just don't like this belly I got. :-( I don't have one before. I have to work out so I won't be all fat. I want to be lean, not fat. :-P
I'll be having my cell group later. And I just want to make some reflections on our topic today. It's about working hard.
Wise Up... Work Hard Passage: Proverbs 6:6-19
The passage starts by encouraging us to look at one of God's most wonderful creation, the ant. We almost always forget it's existence, until we get bitten by it. :) The ant, despite it's being a little creature, is the most responsible of all. The ant needs no boss to give it orders, motivational speeches, or a cracking whip to keep it working. No inspector to inspect their work, no need for anyone to hold them accountable. Ants are self motivated, self initiators. They work hard and diligently without anyone looking over their shoulders, applying pressure, or giving bonus or incentives. The ants also have a vision of what needs to be done (v.8 "yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest"), and they make preparations to meet that need. They know that everything they do contributes to their own well being, as well as everyone else in the community. They are able to maintain their focus and concentrate on the job at hand, not allowing distractions to lead them astray. They also work as a team. Each ant does his part, carrying his part of the load and doing his assigned role with dependability.
Well, ants indeed are responsible beings. Just looking on the passage made me think why I still get lazy. Well, compared to the ant, we have bigger brains, right? Yet they seem to think more responsibly than humans. Well that's because they don't get easily distracted by other things. Unlike humans, we have several things that gets us hooked up, like vices and some overdone recreations. We so much enjoy spending our time on things like watching TV, going to the mall, spending too much time in front of the computer, talking on the phone, etc... things that don't really contribute much on our living. I mean, yeah we sometimes need a break, but it doesn't mean we have to be on break all the time. We have work to do!
I used to think being lazy is not such a big deal.. not a sin. Not until I read this topic. We might think we're not doing anything wrong with doing nothing at all, but actually, doing nothing is also equal to doing wrong! And this statement is supported by some Bible passages to.
2 Thessalonians 3:6-12 (New Living Translation)
Our orders--backed up by the Master, Jesus--are to refuse to have anything to do with those among you who are lazy and refuse to work the way we taught you. Don't permit them to freeload on the rest. We showed you how to pull your weight when we were with you, so get on with it. We didn't sit around on our hands expecting others to take care of us. In fact, we worked our fingers to the bone, up half the night moonlighting so you wouldn't be burdened with taking care of us. And it wasn't because we didn't have a right to your support; we did. We simply wanted to provide an example of diligence, hoping it would prove contagious. Don't you remember the rule we had when we lived with you? "If you don't work, you don't eat." And now we're getting reports that a bunch of lazy good-for-nothings are taking advantage of you. This must not be tolerated. We command them to get to work immediately--no excuses, no arguments--and earn their own keep.
See how the issue on being idle was addressed during that time! Everyone should earn their own keep. It's commanded. Ordered. Being lazy is not tolerated in the Bible either.
Though the passage in 2 Thessalonians talks about making a living, it also applies on our day to day living as well. We sometimes plainly idle our times away. We might have accomplished so many things if we have spent our time accordingly. God wants us to be productive.
I remember reading one chapter in J. Harris's book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" that talks about the same thing. He told there his mom uses the phrase "hustle while you wait" to express the same idea. If she sees any of them picking at food while she cooks dinner, she'll snap, like a football coach to his players "Don't just stand up there! Hustle while you wait!" That means set the table, put away the groceries, or load the dishwasher; be productive during a lull in the action.
Why is God being empathetic on spending our time wisely? Because He knows that's good for us, and He always want the best for us. Just like our parents, God doesn't want us doing away our time on things that doesn't contribute to our growth and maturity. He doesn't want us to become spoiled brats, but rather a capable individual. Being able to spend our time wisely contributes greatly to our maturity because it develops our being a responsible individual, making the most of our time.
Also, God knows that being lazy will lead us only to destruction. Not only being idle, but also some bad habits that we have. If we continue on idling away, poverty will come with certainty and seeming suddenness because we're not alert or prepared.
How are we to spend our time then? God tells us in Colossians 3:17 and Colossians 3:23-24 how we could spend our time wisely, and pleasing for our Lord.
Colossians 3:17 (NIV)
And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Colossians 3:23-24 (NIV)
Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Always remember, in everything we do, it is the Lord we are serving. So do away with our bad habits and get ourselves to work! Work for the good.. for the best. Afterall, everything is also for our own good. And if we have done our tasks, we will all receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. :) Remember, everything will pay off. God bless you all.
One of my officemates emailed me this link that I found so amusing. It's a handwriting analysis test. You might be wondering how you can do a hand writing analysis online. They will give you a set of choices, where a certain type of handwriting is shown and then you will just choose which one is closest to the hand writing you're analysing. Want to check it out? click HERE.
The results are amazingly almost accurate. I find most of the results true, but I still don't think some of them are, though I'm not sure. Maybe I just don't know I'm like that. However, that doesn't mean I believe all of the result I got from this test, but I still find some of them true. Here are the results I got.
I sometimes write my "y" in several ways and as the test instructed, I selected all the options that applied.
Goldylynn has a very unusual lower zone y loop. If the data input is correct, Goldylynn's y or g is large and opens up to the left side of the page. This is not a common trait, but the implications are very interesting. As you begin to study handwriting analysis, you will learn any loop indicates imagination. This lower loop indicates the amount of imagination Goldylynn has regarding sex and physical things. So, her lower zone stroke is large, so her sexual imagination is large and open. Furthermore, because the loop is incomplete and extends to the left, this indicates a particular fascination with certain aspects of sexuality that have not been fulfilled, yet. In a nutshell, Goldylynn is open to some very new ideas sexually and is willing to try anything once.
I don't know if this one is true, I can't really tell. Besides, I don't want thinking myself in this kind of situation.
Goldylynn exaggerates about everything that has a physical nature. Although she may not intend to deceive or mislead, she blows things way out of proportion because that is the way she views them. She will be a good story teller. This exaggeration relates to all areas of her material world. Goldylynn allows many people into her life because she is accepting and trusting. She is sometimes called gullible by her friends. That only really means that she trusts too many people. Goldylynn has a vivid imagination.
I'm sometimes called "gullible" by my friends? I don't know this but I never heard any of them say I'm gullible... or rather I never heard any of them "tell me" I'm gullible. The rest are already true.
Goldylynn has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. She lets new people into her circle of friends. She uses her imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.
Right.
Goldylynn is selective when picking friends. She does not trust everyone. She has a select group of people that are truly close to her, usually two or three. She is careful when choosing her inner circle of friends.
Right.
Goldylynn has difficulty trusting anyone. In fact, she trusts no one completely. This is a result of her trust being betrayed in the past. She has closed up, thus ceasing to allow close friendships. Goldylynn truly wants close friends and desires physical relationships, but she fears she will get hurt, again. She is lonely, yet has a crying need for close friends. This trait can cause much unhappiness. However, it can be changed.
I don't think so. But I sometimes write my "y" this way.
Goldylynn is very self-sufficient. She is trying not to need anyone. She is capable of making it on her own. She probably wants and enjoys people, but she doesn't "need" them. She can be a loner.
Yes. Sometimes.
Goldylynn is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect her ego when she feels hurt. She pokes people harder than she gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.
Yeah. Sort of.
Goldylynn is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. She needs to visualize the end of a project before she starts. she finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said she plans everything she is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Goldylynn basically feels good about herself. She has a positive self-esteem which contributes to her success. She feels she has the ability to achieve anything she sets her mind to. However, she sets her goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". She has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, she will not take great risks, as they relate to her goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, her self-perception is better than average.
This is what I really want myself to be.
In reference to Goldylynn's mental abilities, she has a very investigating and creating mind. She investigates projects rapidly because she is curious about many things. She gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but she soon must slow down and look at all the angles. She probably gets too many things going at once. When Goldylynn slows down, then she becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, she must slow down to do it. She then decides what projects she has time to finish. Thus she finishes at a slower pace than when she started the project.
She has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. Her mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. She can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Goldylynn can then switch into her low gear. When she is in the slower mode, she can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. She is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.
Hmmm... no comment. I don't really know I am like this. But I guess I am.
Goldylynn will be candid and direct when expressing her opinion. She will tell them what she thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want her opinion, don't ask for it!
True!
Goldylynn uses judgment to make decisions. She is ruled by her head, not her heart. She is a cool, collected person who is usually unexpressive emotionally. Some may see her as unemotional. She does have emotions but has no need to express them. She is withdrawn into herself and enjoys being alone.
The circumstances when Goldylynn does express emotions include: extreme anger, extreme passion, and tremendous stress. If someone gets her mad enough to tell her off, she will not be sorry about it later. She puts a mark in her mind when someone angers her. She keeps track of these marks and when she hits that last mark she will let them know they have gone too far. She is ruled somewhat by self-interest. All her conclusions are made without outside emotional influence. She is very level-headed and will remain calm in an emergency situation. In a situation where other people might get hysterical, she has poise.
Goldylynn will work more efficiently if given space and time to be alone. She would rather not be surrounded by people constantly. In a relationship, she will show her love by the things she does rather than by the things she says. Saying "I love you" is not a needed routine because she feels her mate should already know. The only exception to this is if she has logically concluded that it is best for her mate to hear her express her love verbally.
Goldylynn is not subject to emotional appeals. If someone is selling a product to her, they will need to present only the facts. They should present them from a standpoint of her sound judgment. She will not be taken in by an emotional story about someone else. She will meet emergencies without getting hysterical and she will always ask "Is this best for me?"
I don't know if I'm poised during an emergency situation, but I do try to be calm. The rest are true enough.
People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Goldylynn doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.
I do write not too large and not too small, so I guess this statement is true. :)
While reading one of the chapters in J. Harris' book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, one topic there made me think, "What Am I Making Out of My Time Now?"
That question always strikes me, I don't know why. Sometimes, I get a little confused on what things I should be spending my time and effort with. At times when I'm at work and there is an opportunity for promotion, I start to think, "Am I doing something to advance in my career today? Do I really need to work in advancing career-wise?" Well of course, we all know that we should always work on improving ourselves, always aiming for the best in everything we do. But most of the time, I always find myself contented in what I have (I just said most of the time). I just think, why would I be wanting for more if I already have what I need? If I'd be like that, I will always find myself wanting, never satisfied with whatever God has given me.
But that doesn't mean I already have no room for improvements. I know, time will come that I'd be wanting for more, for growth, for maturity and advancement, but I don't think that that time is now. I just get bothered when I see people around, people of my age, who have accomplished so much, has gone way too far compared to what I have right now that I'm thinking, am I having a slow life? I guess I have this problem of always comparing myself with others, but Isn't looking at other's lives also a way of seeing if you have done something on yours?
I don't know... I have a lot of questions. God, help me please.
I don't intend this to be my life's chronicles but I might write some of my experiences here.
Even so, everything that's written in here are either products of my excessive contemplation, or just plainly, pure boredom.
In any case, I still try to write as sensible as possible, for what I really intend to do and I hope is achieved in every writing,
is to impart or share some of the things I learn and sometimes, some struggles in life. Don't expect all seriousness in everything in here though.
In short, this blog is my outlet. My noted thoughts and reflections.
About Me
Name: Goldi
Home: Pasay City, Philippines
Birthday: June 2
Hobbies & Interests: Jesus, music, books, journals, internet, computers, tech stuff, gadgets * sound tripping, singing, playing musical instruments (I know guitar and flute recorder, I just wish I can play them well), watching movie with a tub of popcorn drizzled with melted butter (yum!), reading * observing, pondering, reflecting, learning * laughing or making people laugh (though I'm not good at it) and laugh with them, make people smile, or just listen to their stories. Minsan, trip ko lang din mang-asar =p
About Me: I'm a simple, idealistic but down-to-earth, & friendly person. Quiet most of the time, but friendly enough to have a nice talk (or even a hearty laugh) with anyone. "I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20 NLT
Principles I live by:
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4
"If people talk negatively about you, live in such a way that no one will believe them."
"God is a God of happy endings. If you're not yet happy, it's not yet the end."
"It's not what we know but what we do that counts." -Our Daily Bread
"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." -Dumbledore, Harry Potter 2
"Girls should assume that until a guy expresses interest, they're just friends." -J. Harris, Boy Meets Girl
"True love doesn't just wait; it plans." -Boy Meets Girl
"Eros will have naked bodies; friendship naked personalities." -C.S. Lewis
"Ideals are like stars; we will not succeed in touching them with our hands but by following them, as the sea faring man in the ocean, we will reach our destiny." -J. Harris, Boy Meets Girl
