Life can seem unbearable at times, but don't let it keep you down. Meditate on God's goodness, talk to Him, and know that He hears you. When life knocks you to your knees, you're in a good position to pray.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
First Time High
I am not really used to wearing dresses, in fact I haven't worn any since the time I've become aware of my appearance. The last time I wore one was when we came to church during the christmas celebration when I was still a kid. Sadly I can't post a copy of the pic here, but it sure was funny because I was wearing a pair rubber shoes with it. I was eating a popsicle stick in the picture, with my face smudged with melted ice cream on both cheeks. Our scanner is busted so I can't upload a copy in here, but I will not be afraid of posting it since I find it very entertaining. As I have said, I am not very conscious yet of my appearance that time and my mother either doesn't have a very good fashion statement. (she's the one who was dressing us up then).
Anyway, I recently got invited to sing in a debut. It was my Kim's cousin Claire's debut and the theme is whimsical, so they made some modifications with the name of the entourage. It was actually only the 18 candles that have been modified, making it into goddesses instead of candles. The rest, like the roses and the treasures, remained the same. The occasion asks for a semi-formal attire and since I was also included in the 18 goddesses, I was required to wear a semi-formal dress.
I really got worried of what I'm going to wear, for I don't have any dress that will suit the event. Besides, as I have mentioned, I am not used into wearing dresses, so I don't have any either. On occasions that required semi-formal attires, I always wear two-piece clothings, with either a skirt or most of the time pants bottoms since I am much more comfortable with it, but I find dresses too formal and sexy. It shows too much skin and I am not easy with it. So I kept bugging Kim, who invited me, asking for assurance that it would be okay for me to wear pants. She kept saying it's okay as long as it's not denim. I think Kim is just being too nice and shy to tell me that I'm required to wear something more formal than that, or she just don't know how to say it without disappointing me. Anyway, I myself found out that I should wear a dress when the event came.
I was already determined to wear just khaki pants and pink blouse but to play it safe, I brought the dress with me. It was actually what I wore when I went there, because of course, I won't be travelling wearing the dress. When I came there, I've proven that I would stick out like a swollen thumb if I had insisted wearing my humble khaki pants and pink blouse attire. The entourage is actually wearing pink and lilac dresses and they look like they are going to march for a bridal entourage. It was my first time to attend a grandly celebrated debut and I would feel really out of place if I don't wear the dress. The entourage is actually dressed in formal. So there, running out of time because I came in late, I hurriedly slipped the dress on and voila! I've transformed into someone I don't know ^_^. It was also the first time I've seen myself in a formal attire.
Very much uncomfortable, I also hurriedly put on some make up. Actually, it looked like I did not put anything. I don't have any make up with me and the only things I have as make-up are an eye liner and a loose powder. I don't even have a lipstick! It looked like I was only asked a day before the event to prepare because I don't have anything with me. I am also not into make up so I don't have any but it was that moment that I realized it is also a necessity for women on occasions like this. Gosh, this is one of the hassles of being a female. Men are okay with just a few powder, in fact they don't need to put anything at all on their face just to look presentable but women will need at least a lipstick in order to not look like a corpse. In fact it's not even enough. You'll need things like foundations, eye shadows, blush on, etc.
So because I almost don't have anything, I just settled into putting on whatever I have in my bag and just borrowed the rest from Ross, who is also included in the 18 goddesses. To make things worse, I only don't have the things I need, but I also don't know how to apply make up! And Ross, though she was able to make herself beautiful with it does not know how to apply make up to others. So what I just did was to draw some lines on my eyes with the eye liner, put on loose powder to remove the shine, and asked ross to apply a blush on of hers in my cheeks and that's it. Oh, the lipstick? I don't have any so I used my Nivea lip gloss that has a hint of color in it. I was even jittery while applying the liner and Ross tells me to relax but I really can't. I really get shaky whenever I'm tensed and it really shows. And because of this, I told myself that I should be learning to put make up on my face, and to have one ready in case needed.
I still feel uneasy when we went out the bathroom after the quick fix for the entourage and I kept pulling the front part of the dress up because it is very low. Plus the dress has spaghetti straps and with it, I already feel naked. I kept mentioning to Ross how uncomfy I was and she kept reassuring me it's okay. I then calmed myself down because I realized, the stubbornness can make me look foolish enough.
Dinner was served first before the program since it started at 7pm. I can't eat my food well because I really feel very uneasy. Not only because I am not comfortable with my dress, but that I am also going to sing any moment. I could have sufferred indigestion if I was not able to control myself at least a little. I was taking deep breaths and was drinking a lot of water Coke. It was what was served with the food and besides, Water makes me feel more bloated and I get full easily with it. So in other words, I was not able to enjoy the food that much because I was very uncomfortable.
Then came my number, and I began to feel more nervous. Though I managed not to make it show while I was giving some talk before I start, it showed during the performance. I had several stops during the song, because my mouth gets dry out of nervousness. So instead of swallowing uncontrollably while singing a word, what I did is stop to take breaths and give my mouth some time to wet. And to top it off, the guy playing the guitar is also nervous and so that made him play a little faster and that's also one of the reasons why I ran out of breath. The song even has a part that will require a little belting and that even made me more breathless. It really went fine during our practice but the performance itself was a mess. The song is Glowing Inside by Nikki Gil originally done for the Vaseline shampoo commercial as a tribute to the graduates' moms, and I particularly chose that song because the message went well with the occasion (it's actually already the closest I can get).
I headed home while Ross and JayR went to Greenbelt because I still have to wake up early next day for church. Eventough I'm not really happy with how I did, it's not that bad either, and I'm already thankful for it. I went home relieved of the fact that it is finally finished.
And so what I learned from this experience is that nervousness don't help. It even makes matters worse. I really have to work on it, or else I'll make myself look foolish and embarass myself in front of many people, even if it should have turned out fine.
posted by goldiqt @ 11:01 PM
6 Comment(s):
anobei... you looked awesome in the dress no... slim ka naman eh... and i like the color... you should wear dresses more often... ako kasi di rin ma-dress eh... pero if i had ur body, why not?!
ingat
By Anonymous, at July 29, 2006 8:54 AM
ehehe.. thanks reich ^_^. my other friends say nga na it looks fine naman din eh. mahiyain lng talaga ko. baba yata masyado self-esteem ko.
By Anonymous, at July 29, 2006 4:48 PM
aawww.. no worries.. you look fabulous in that dress. =)
deb: thanks deb. talaga you like it? I was really afraid to wear dresses like that, showing too much skin, kasi I'm worried I won't be able to carry it. Buti naman, ok sya. pero di talaga ko comfy. kita mo hanggang ngayon. hahaha!
yeah.. sayang nga yung number e. oh well, things happen. bawi na lng next time
By Anonymous, at July 30, 2006 2:48 PM
i can so relate! :D
i don't wear dresses. or anything no, i'm not feminine. that's a fact. but there was this business conference i had to attend for a class and i had to wear a skirt! i may have kept up with the teasing but now with wearing the skirt. and the heels were killing my feet.
but the experience was a funny one for me. at least someone said i finally looked like a gurl. lol.
I don't intend this to be my life's chronicles but I might write some of my experiences here.
Even so, everything that's written in here are either products of my excessive contemplation, or just plainly, pure boredom.
In any case, I still try to write as sensible as possible, for what I really intend to do and I hope is achieved in every writing,
is to impart or share some of the things I learn and sometimes, some struggles in life. Don't expect all seriousness in everything in here though.
In short, this blog is my outlet. My noted thoughts and reflections.
About Me
Name: Goldi
Home: Pasay City, Philippines
Birthday: June 2
Hobbies & Interests: Jesus, music, books, journals, internet, computers, tech stuff, gadgets * sound tripping, singing, playing musical instruments (I know guitar and flute recorder, I just wish I can play them well), watching movie with a tub of popcorn drizzled with melted butter (yum!), reading * observing, pondering, reflecting, learning * laughing or making people laugh (though I'm not good at it) and laugh with them, make people smile, or just listen to their stories. Minsan, trip ko lang din mang-asar =p
About Me: I'm a simple, idealistic but down-to-earth, & friendly person. Quiet most of the time, but friendly enough to have a nice talk (or even a hearty laugh) with anyone. "I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me. So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20 NLT
Principles I live by:
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." -Psalm 37:4
"If people talk negatively about you, live in such a way that no one will believe them."
"God is a God of happy endings. If you're not yet happy, it's not yet the end."
"It's not what we know but what we do that counts." -Our Daily Bread
"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." -Dumbledore, Harry Potter 2
"Girls should assume that until a guy expresses interest, they're just friends." -J. Harris, Boy Meets Girl
"True love doesn't just wait; it plans." -Boy Meets Girl
"Eros will have naked bodies; friendship naked personalities." -C.S. Lewis
"Ideals are like stars; we will not succeed in touching them with our hands but by following them, as the sea faring man in the ocean, we will reach our destiny." -J. Harris, Boy Meets Girl
I am not really used to wearing dresses, in fact I haven't worn any since the time I've become aware of my appearance. The last time I wore one was when we came to church during the christmas celebration when I was still a kid. Sadly I can't post a copy of the pic here, but it sure was funny because I was wearing a pair rubber shoes with it. I was eating a popsicle stick in the picture, with my face smudged with melted ice cream on both cheeks. Our scanner is busted so I can't upload a copy in here, but I will not be afraid of posting it since I find it very entertaining. As I have said, I am not very conscious yet of my appearance that time and my mother either doesn't have a very good fashion statement. (she's the one who was dressing us up then).
Then came my number, and I began to feel more nervous. Though I managed not to make it show while I was giving some talk before I start, it showed during the performance. I had several stops during the song, because my mouth gets dry out of nervousness. So instead of swallowing uncontrollably while singing a word, what I did is stop to take breaths and give my mouth some time to wet. And to top it off, the guy playing the guitar is also nervous and so that made him play a little faster and that's also one of the reasons why I ran out of breath. The song even has a part that will require a little belting and that even made me more breathless. It really went fine during our practice but the performance itself was a mess. The song is Glowing Inside by Nikki Gil originally done for the Vaseline shampoo commercial as a tribute to the graduates' moms, and I particularly chose that song because the message went well with the occasion (it's actually already the closest I can get).
6 Comment(s):
anobei... you looked awesome in the dress no... slim ka naman eh... and i like the color... you should wear dresses more often... ako kasi di rin ma-dress eh... pero if i had ur body, why not?!
ingat
ehehe.. thanks reich ^_^. my other friends say nga na it looks fine naman din eh. mahiyain lng talaga ko. baba yata masyado self-esteem ko.
aawww.. no worries.. you look fabulous in that dress. =)
have a great weekend!
i liked your dress...you looked comfy in it too. i think the color and the fit suits you perfectly.
sorry to hear about your number. well things happen. sometimes we can't control our nerves, but i guess practice makes perfect.
take care
din-din: thanks sis =)
deb: thanks deb. talaga you like it? I was really afraid to wear dresses like that, showing too much skin, kasi I'm worried I won't be able to carry it. Buti naman, ok sya. pero di talaga ko comfy. kita mo hanggang ngayon. hahaha!
yeah.. sayang nga yung number e. oh well, things happen. bawi na lng next time
i can so relate! :D
i don't wear dresses. or anything no, i'm not feminine. that's a fact. but there was this business conference i had to attend for a class and i had to wear a skirt! i may have kept up with the teasing but now with wearing the skirt. and the heels were killing my feet.
but the experience was a funny one for me. at least someone said i finally looked like a gurl. lol.
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