Goldi's Noted Thoughts

I'm moving

2008-10-16T07:57:00.006+08:00

This blog will be officially closed. I decided, I probably should make a new home.

To see my new posts, please visit...

~~http://notedthoughts.blogspot.com~~
http://goldinotes.blogspot.com

Otei? See yah!

Change Done

2008-10-13T09:01:00.002+08:00

So I'm finally done with the new design, and happy with it.

I did this in the office, for I think I won't be able to do this freely at home because right now, there are many people there because some of my relatives are there and our house is so small, and my mother is probably doing her laundry and the washing machine is just beside the computer and so it will be chaotic and it will be stressful for me.

Actually, I should already be at home at this hour and is already ready for bed because I still have shift tonight and I should be getting enough sleep for I might have nasty breakouts again. I just took advantage of the peace and quiet I can get from doing this in the office for no one cares what I do and no one or nothing bothers me. It's just that, I'm going home late.

Change is Enevitable

2008-10-13T05:54:00.002+08:00

...And I think I'm ready for a change. A change in my blogger template, and probably or most likely, a change in my URL or blogspot address. (Kala mo kung anong something serious no?)

Standby lang guys. If this blog has any follower (meron nga ba?), I'm sorry but I don't know all of you guys, unless you have probably used this blogger's feature where you will be updated should there be any changes on your friends' blogs.

I'm on a hunt for a blogger template now... and still thinking what will be my blogspot address.

Back

2008-10-06T00:28:00.002+08:00

I decided to visit again this space of mine in blogspot. It's been a while. I was actually planning to delete this blog but seeing the things that I've wrote in the past made me think it's just going to be a waste. Like all of the thoughts I've shared online before will be wasted. i decided to read some of them again and I only not found myself on a journey to the past, but I also gained some learning in my own reflections.

So.. I guess I can't afford to have all these just vanish forever. I will be keeping this.

what can probably or possibly happen is I probably will change the url.

I probably am back into this. Hopefully this site will not be surf controlled again from the office ^_^.

"Ex"

2008-06-17T05:54:00.000+08:00

This is such a weird feeling. I just opened my friendster profile this morning through my ipod touch while lying in bed to just check for some new message or comment, and seeing that I've had like 143 views (found it weird), I checked who are those people who took a peep in my profile. There, I saw someone so unexpected. And I'm not able to describe how I felt when I saw it.

Was planning pa nga to do the blogging through the touch kaso medyo mahirap, so I got up pa just to have a record of this unusual event and feeling.

So ano muna yung nakita ko? Well... and "ex" ko lang naman. It was weird because I know, he used to view profiles anonymously, but now it's shown. And another thing that I know someday will happen but still it surprised me is that, bago na ang status nya. Hindi na single, hindi na it's complicated. In a relationship na. And his primary pic? Kasama nya yung girl.

I am not in the mood to go into details na about this weird feeling. Anyway, I can't describe it. I might be writing about it some other time. I just probably want to keep a record of this sudden surge of indescribable emotion. But I'm perfectly fine.

Maybe I felt a little envious because he has already found his new companion. Just maybe. Because maybe I just don't want to admit it to myself. I suddenly felt like I've lost in a competition. But before any of you my friends there react to what I've just mentioned, I want you to know that I completely know I shouldn't be feeling like this. But I was just being real. I was just saying what I feel but I'm not doing anything to nurse it so no harm done, okay?

For some part of me, I am happy for him. No pretentions, or bitterness, whatsoever. What I've just said is genuinely meant. And I wish them both happiness. I wish that the guy who once was very special to me has become a better person. A better man. And in that case, the girl is really blessed. Since this is a wish, I wouldn't be looking in its opposite side. I want to think they will have a happily ever after story.

Pero hindi ko na iwwish na makita na wedding pics naman ang sunod na makita ko no. Unless I have mine posted first. Hehehe.

Multiply Makeover

2007-11-26T08:07:00.000+08:00

I changed my layout into something cuter. Maybe some may say that the layout is too cutie-cutie for my age, but I really love it. Thanks to http://pinkfaiiry.multiply.com and to http://customizedthemes.multiply.com that I found this uber-cute layout. I am making some modifications pa, and in fact, I have now spent quiet some time in front of the computer. I started at 9am and it's now 1:15pm. adik!

My New Bible

2007-11-24T05:08:00.000+08:00

Bought a new Holy Bible last night on my way to work. I was early in Makati yesterday because I went to school for our classes during Friday but when I got there, wala dun si sir. Medyo na-badtrip ako kasi I woke up early pa naman just to get there on time tapos pagdating ko wala si sir! Arrrgh! Napuyat na nga ko, kulang pa ko sa tulog. Since I was so early, I decided to window shop muna since I'll be passing 3 linked malls. From MRT Ayala station is SM Makati, then Glorietta, then Landmark. Tapos Greenbelt. Oha. That's one of the perks of working in Makati. The downside is magastos . I checked Powerbooks since I have long been planning to find a replacement for my Bible, which I bought for P1,349.75 Php, considering its diminutive size (the size of a purse. Ang Bible kasi, habang lumiliit, lumalaki ang presyo) and that was way back July 2005, pagkatapos I will find out lang later on na may missing pages pala. At ang dami ha. Kaya ako naghahanap ng bago. Kulang ang books. Hindi pwede yun. So I checked what Powerbooks have. I already have something in mind, so I already know what to look for. I was scouting for a Backpack Bible. As the name implies, it's handy and funky enough to be carried in your backpack. Like a go anywhere sort of stuff. Kumbaga sa damit, it's the casual and comfy type. Backpack Bibles by Zondervan has a wide range of cool designs. You wouldn't think it's a Bible until you open it. It's nice that they are being creative on the concept of God's word and making it more eye friendly to the public. So I checked their collection and I found this one with a Lady Bug design. Cute sya. I'm posting the pictures in my album section. And I'm satisfied with it. Cute na cute ako sa kanya. I was thinking, I can carry it around and read it anywhere without making an impression na nagbabanal banalan ako. And it's fun to read nga because of the design. It somehow removes that impression of seriousness that scares off people. Basta natutuwa ko sa kanya.

Check the album. may comparison pa ko with my old one. I was thinking if I will give it away, for I somehow am having a hard time letting it go. Parang may sentimental value sya. Isa kasi yun sa mga first fruits of my labor with PeopleSupport. It's the second I owned, na ako ang bumili. At sya ang pinakamahal. Yung pinakauna ko nawala e. Naiwan ko sa jeep. Bahala na.

Got Myself Some Movie Copies

2007-10-15T15:13:00.000+08:00

bought:

*The Incredibles dvd for only P150 (since this is one of my faves, I included this in my collection, and it's great that I got a cheap orig dvd copy)

*Pirates of the Carribean - Curse of the Black Pearl vcd for only P75

*The Wedding Singer - P75

... all from SM Sucat Hypermarket

and had my membership at Video City SM Sucat, then borrowed a dvd of 300 para mapanood sa bahay. kainis lang, ayaw basahin ng player namin.

all these done around 7pm.

Then I went home and tested everything and to my disappointment, the orig dvd copies I had were all not playing in our dvd player.

After watching pbb red carpet edition, I had a movie marathon. Since the dvds are not running in our player, I watched it in the pc. Buti na lang, I have other options ^_^. I was able to finish only 2, which are the 300 and the Pirates of the Carribean dahil 4am na ko natapos. Kung hindi ko lang kelangan matulog, baka lahat nung binili ko, pinanood ko.

So that's how my day went yesterday.

No Surf Control

2007-10-08T21:31:00.000+08:00

No surf control in the office, so I'm taking advantage of the opportunity to update my blogs ^_^.

It's been a while since I had my last update. I guess it will most of the time be this way -- an interval of ages before the next post. I thought I will not be blogging anymore, but it's a good thing that I haven't announced the end of my blogs. I just don't have the time lang talaga to update it.

I sometimes have thoughts that I want to put into writing but just when I am starting to do it, I suddenly stop on my tracks. Rush of ideas come but when I get myself ready to have a record of it, everything just goes away.

Ah basta, bahala na. Basta ngayon, I was able to have an update. And hopefully I'd be able to put my thoughts into writing more easily the next time, just as how I was able to do it in the past.

My Blogs

2007-06-27T22:44:00.000+08:00

I all of a sudden felt like visiting my online journals, and came to realize that gosh, I used to be so addicted with the thing and now, if spiders can live on it, it will have lots and lots of cobwebs already.

I've got 3 blogs. My first was in blogspot, my second is in Friendster, and the last one I created is in Multiply. To each, its own beauty and advantage. But the reason I can't let go the two to just maintain one is because I can't have all of their features in one.

Blogspot gives me a lot of versatility, giving me freedom to fully customize the layout and look to my liking through html, and it's actually where I acquired my basic HTML skills. But the things is maintenance in blogspot is really very hard, specially if you're putting some things other than your posts that needs constant updating. I don't actually have all the time and I don't always feel enthusiastic anymore to update these things. I like blogspot on the visual side because I can fully customize it and so pour out my whole personality on the design alone. And everyone's also free to give comments, without requiring any membership or registration which can really too much of a hassle. The bad side on this thing though is it's not very secure.

The only thing I liked in Friendster is that it automatically updates all the people in my network whenever I have new posts. In this way, they can be updated in more detail than just on what they see in my Friendster profile. I can also do this in multiply, yes and I can even exclusively select the people I would only want updated but most of my friends doesn't really know about multiply and Friendster is more popular to most of them. For the rest, it already sucks. Sometimes the first thing you'll see when your blog is opened is their advertisement.

Multiply almost have it all. You can build your network, upload unlimited photos and organize them into albums for viewing, you can make a photo blog there, and they also have a blog feature, and much more than that. you can write reviews, add another page for recipes if you love cooking, you can also have your playlist uploaded for sharing or just to be able to access it anywhere internet is available, and much much more. The bad side? Though some parts can be configured to be viewed by anyone even if they're not a member, there are just some things that will really require them to sign up for a membership, like being able to comment on your posts. And also, another thing that I hate is the adverts just popping anywhere in the page. Though they don't have any pop ups, the advertisements just getting in the way of the nice view of the website really annoys me.

I initially started a blog with the following things in mind:

I like to learn HTML, thus making me sign up for a blogger account.

I like to enhance my writing skills.

I like other people to hear my thoughts.

Just that. At first I was really very enthusiastic about it but as time pass, enthusiasm died down. But I didn't stop, seeing as how this thing has also helped me in some way.

Worship Camp

2007-05-30T21:27:00.000+08:00

I was not able to change anything in my template anymore since it was a very tedious job and I don't have that much enthusiasm as before in tinkering with HTML codes. I don't really want to change anything with the look of my template, but I wanted to adopt the way the archives and previous post list behave in the new templates of blogger.

So yun, nothing has changed. But there were a lot of events that I was not able to write in this blog anymore. Syempre, dami na namang nangyari, but the most recent was that I just camp from our worship camp and I really feel so blessed! God has made me feel and made me realize how special I am in His eyes during the camp. I felt so guilty that I was really shaking while crying. The same with my fellow campers. I prayed right there and then that He will make a big change in my life, so big that it won't be hidden and that I can make a difference. And that I'd always be drawn close to Him and will never let go.

Hay.. ang saya nun, grabe. Sobrang uplifting, and so peaceful that we can't even comprehend it. A peace that passes all understanding. Sobra. Indescribable feeling.

Blog Template Modification

2007-04-25T03:41:00.000+08:00

I'm currently doing some modifications in my blog. I don't really want to change its look yet, for I like the template, but the change will be more on how entries will behave, particularly in the side bar. I'd like everything to be as neat as possible.

So while I'm doing these changes, you may sometimes see some messed up parts, that means that it's a work in progress. I apologize for this might make you feel uncomfortable, but as soon as I'm finished, everything should already be perfect.

Bangs

2007-04-03T17:59:00.000+08:00

I had my hair cut last saturday... well, it's not really a hair cut, I just actually had bangs. Naisipan ko magpalagay ng bangs kasi wala lang. Parang gusto ko lang i-try.

So yun nga. The baklang maton had it cut, nilagyan pa nya ng style. Parang natatakot ako nung ginugupit nya kasi parang paiksi yata ng paiksi yung bangs ko. Hanggang sa natapos na nga...

Hindi ko alam kung pangit o bagay kasi talagang nag-iba ang itsura ko. Pero para sa kin, hindi ko naman sya ganun kaayaw pero hindi ko pa masabi kung gusto ko kasi parang naging ibang tao talaga ko. Biruin mo yun, simpleng bawas lang sa buhok ko sa harap, hindi ko na agad nakilala ang sarili ko.

Nung Monday pa, sobrang nahirapan akong ayusin sya. My hair doesn't normally flow smooth, most of the time it's unruly. And since the bangs are so short, grabe, I really had difficulty in styling it. Sobra, muntik na ko ma-late. I didn't have a choice yesterday but to tie it up. Mukha tuloy akong bata sa itsura ng buhok ko. At talagang hindi pa nakisama ang buhok ko, nagwwave pa sya in all the wrong places. At mukha pa syang dry. Hay naku, wala na lang akong nagawa.

Ngayon, medyo naging okay naman, but still I had a little difficulty but it's not as difficult as last night. Hindi ako nakilala ng katrabaho ko pagpasok ko, and some of my officemates were saying nag-iba daw talaga itsura ko. Totoo naman. Sabi pa ng isa nagmukha daw akong doll. Well, I'd like the idea of looking like a doll, basta hindi voodoo doll.

I'll post some pics later. Syempre, I'll take decent ones. I don't have the face to put pictures of my unruly bangs. Grabe, it's a disaster talaga kapag hindi sya manageable.

Pictures to follow.

Again?

2007-03-22T16:17:00.000+08:00

Ang weird talaga...

I woke up earlier today. Wasn't able to sleep anymore when I was woke up by a call from HSBC. I suddenly felt the heat and so I transferred to the air conditioned room of our father and mother but I didn't feel like sleeping anymore. Still, I feel I should get some more. I'll try to catch some a little later. I just decided to put this in writing right away.

Ang weird talaga. I can't help but wonder why is this happening. What a coincidence talaga. Kahapon I just wrote about the comment made by Tita Ava when we had a little chat and now, the same comment was made, this time by cousin Ate Genelyn.

Napanaginipan kita may asawa ka na raw golde... (9:11 am)

Kailan k b mag aasawa yan bka maunahan k pa ni dhea yan. (9:12 am)

Those were the exact text messages I received. Kumusta naman yun diba? Talagang she bothered to text me pa just to tell me about the dream lang. I imagined, siguro it was so vivid that it looked like real then she texted because she still can't forget about it. I was able to read this in the afternoon na. Around 2pm, medyo naalimpungatan lang ako and I decided to check the messages in my cellphone. At yan nga ang nakita ko. Hindi ko pa alam nung una kung sino yun kasi bagong number na gamit nya.

But what surprises me the most is the happening of the same thing in 2 consecutive days, involving 2 different people who I didn't have the chance to be with physically for a long time. All of a sudden they were checking on me when it's not really their nature to bother about me. Not that they don't care but we're not that close either.

Ang weird talaga. I don't know what this means, but whatever is the meaning of the things that are happening right now, I just entrust everything to the Lord. I might just get crazy trying to figure out what's the meaning of all these. Basta, I'll continue to do my part. Trust in the Lord and have faith in Him while doing the things I have to do.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not in your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. -Proverbs 3:5-6

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. -Hebrews 11:1

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

This is Really Cool!

2007-03-22T16:03:00.000+08:00

Wow ang cool! I did the cross posting between Blogger and Multiply and it's really nice! Asteg! You won't have any difficulty in maintaining blogs if you have them with these free blogging service providers. Ganda promise.

Nice ^_^.

Kumustahan Blues

2007-03-21T18:18:00.001+08:00

Just had a chat with my aunt a few minutes ago when I answered the phone. She was looking for my sis but since we haven't spoken for a while, she asked how I was.

She said I sounded like I'm sad. I said maybe it was because I just got up. I really haven't had a decent sleep today. I slept late, and I felt like my sleep was shallow. Like I wasn't even able to rest. I didn't feel recharged when I woke up. This is what's difficult when you're in graveyard shift. It's really hard to get sleep in the morning. I've been working like this for more than 3 years now and yet my body's still having difficulty in adjusting.

So the conversation went like she's wondering how I'm doing with the graveyard shift. Her voice reflected dislike on the idea of working at night. Well, everyone knows how hard it is to work in the graveyard shift and she expressed how concerned she was with how I'm doing with my job. I just said, I already got used to it.

Tapos sabay banat na papa-sponsor daw anak nya sa youth camp. Sus, mayaman pa nga sila sa 'min. Sabi ko na lang, madami akong bayarin.

Then she commented, parang pamilyado ah. Maigi pa mag-asawa ka na. Kelan ka pa mag-aasawa? Kapag huli na? These are not really the exact words. Rephrased na yan. What she exactly said was a little crude because she was trying to deliver it in a joking manner. It's one of those totoong biro.

I'm 25, approaching my 26th birthday in a few months time. How time flies. I haven't even realized that I've spent 3 and half years already being in the entry level position. I enjoyed what I've been doing so much that I already missed out the opportunities to move up. Now I'm actually having a struggle career-wise because of that. Pati naman ang lovelife, dumagdag pang isipin dahil sa comment ng tita ko.

I'm not really bothering myself that much of the marriage thing, but I won't deny the fact that it sometimes make me contemplate. My aunt made that comment because during their time, marrying young is ideal. I know she's also concerned I might become a spinster, for it somewhat runs in the family. Not really in theirs, she's the sister of my father and all of them are already married and she's the youngest. Sa side ng pamilya nila, they have cousins that are still single beyond the usual age of marrying. I know, she's afraid that I might grow old alone, but I don't want to be marrying naman just for the sake of that. Sino naman ang papakasalan ko? Wala nga kong boyfriend at this time eh.

Don't ask me why. Hindi ko din alam kung bakit. As much I would like myself to not think about it, the fact that I'm not getting any younger makes me think of it. Ewan ko.

I just noticed that my post is getting long. I haven't written all of my thoughts yet, but I really intended to have this post to be only composed of a few paragraphs with few sentences. Turned out it's not.

I'll get back to this some other time. I still have devotion to do.

Update Ulet

2007-03-16T00:53:00.000+08:00

Ngayon ko lang napansin na hindi na pala ko masyadong nagbblog. Ang tindi ba? Sobrang ka-busy-han, ni hindi ko manlang naisip na may blog pala ko.

I actually have a lot of blogs. And even during the times I was not updating this, I even created new blogs in some sites that offer free online journal service. Paano kasi, blocked itong blogger sa office. Now, I have found a way again to access restricted sites from the office and I might as well take advantage of the situation. Kaya lang naman, ano namang isusulat ko?

I've lost my passion in writing. And I think even in reading. Reading just became a habit now. Most of the time now, I read not because I want to, but because I have to. Afterall, we can't deny the fact that we learn a lot from reading. It's part of life.

Kita ko, last update ko was when I was planning pa to get a new digicam. Well, I actually did get it already and have already used it a lot of times. It's so handy that I don't mind even if I leave it in my bag. Halos kasing laki lang sya ng phone ko, which is a N7610, and I haven't minded carrying it everytime I need to bring a camera, not even on an ordinary day na mapag-tripan ko lang magdala, unlike my old Canon Powershot A510 na kahit kailangan ko na syang dalhin, tamad na tamad talaga ko kasi ang bigat! It's still incomparable though with my old Canon when it comes to picture quality, kahit na 3.2 megapixel lang yung Canon ko at 7 megapixel itong bago ko.

Sa ngayon, yun na lang muna. I am currently working on making my devotion a habit (again).

Itching For A New Digicam

2007-02-09T15:54:00.000+08:00

I was thinking of buying a waterproof camera since last week... and I came down to deciding to buy the Pentax Optio W10 soon as I'm ready. It's a waterproof digital camera that doesn't need a case to make it waterproof, and it belongs to the ultra-compact category of point and shoot cameras.

The Pentax Optio W10 Waterproof Digital Camera

I have read a lot of reviews and checked out several images taken with the camera (this is actually what I do everytime I think of buying a gadget) and I think it will probably be a good buy. There's even a group for W10 lovers in flickr.com. Can't wait to have my own unit. This model is actually already phased out and is already hardly available in the market, just the same time that I planned to buy my first branded digital camera, the Canon Powershot A510. I usually tend to buy the ones that are about to be discontinued because stores sell them at their lowest price.

The Canon Powershot A510 is actually a good camera, and it indeed takes great pictures, plus the features are great. I just find it a little on the bulky side, and it caused me to lose interest in carrying the camera anywhere, even at times that I need to take pictures. It even takes a lot of space in my bag, and I usually carry a small bag. One thing I'm mostly after in gadgets are it's ease of use, handiness, and the features. I want a feature packed but easy to carry around gadget.

I started thinking of replacing it when my officemate was shopping for a cheap point and shoot digital camera. I suddenly got interested when I helped her shop and found that I can get a waterproof, ultra-compact camera at the same price I got my first, but that was already more than a year ago. So of course, I will have to dispose my Canon and I have no choice but to sell it at a price not higher than half of how much I initially bought it since the camera is already more than a year old and the model is already phased out. The camera is still in its top condition though, and I still have all the stuff that I came with it, except for the original carry case that my younger sister lost during the holidays.

I don't know yet when I will buy it, but I think it'll be soon. I already have a prospective buyer, who's my churchmate and I agreed to sell it to him on a deferred payment. I saw someone who sells this camera in ebay.ph, at a price way cheaper than how much it's sold in the stores, and also claims to offer a 1 year warranty. I am yet have to check this. I do hope though that I'd be able to get the camera for only less than 15thou. Stores usually sell it in prices that range from 19thou-22thou. Gosh, I don't have that money to splurge noh.

I still have one problem. I still have my old digicam, which is also compact, it's just that the lens got deffective, but the camera still turns on. I don't know how to dispose it, without looking like I've thrown out my money to waste. Because of course, the camera is useless without the lens. I don't know if I should just give it to my friend so she can have it repaired and use it. I was actually hoping I can still sell or have it swapped to save at least a little money, kahit mga 500 lang.

Looking forward to having this new bud. I hope it'd be friendly enough.

My Guitar... Nagmaterialize na!

2006-12-26T20:40:00.000+08:00

Wahahaha! Woohoo! Sa wakas! I got my very own guitar na ^_^.

Just bought it a few hours ago from JB Music store in Mall of Asia. They're having a Christmas sale and I got mine with 20% off the original price. It's a Fernando guitar. Not like the one I posted in here (sobrang mahal kaya yun noh, dream lng yun ^_^), but I guess it's good enough. It was originally P2,400 (yata) but I got it for only 1,780. And I got a soft case for it and the nice guys in the store even gave me 10% off the price ^_^. It's not much but I still appreciate their generosity. That's P45 off P450 so I got the soft case for only P405. Pwede na diba? ^_^

Grabe, antagal ko nang plano nito.. It's been ages since I blogged about planning to buy one. I'm stuck kasi with buying what type e. Having it with extra features like pick-up to the littlest detail of a cutaway in the body to be able to reach the farthest fret made me think and later on decided that I'm not that much in a need of those additional features anyway, and that greatly reduced the price. A lot. Well, only a P200 difference with the one with cutaway on the body though, but that's already enough to give me a taxi ride back and forth from our house to our office. And having a pick-up would be an additional of P1000+ on the price. I had second thoughts on the one with a cutaway though, right when I'm already on my ride back home. Hay naku, hinayaan ko na lang. Nabili ko na eh. No return no exchange. It doesn't even come with a warranty. Sabi nila they don't give warranties for guitars, sa electronics lang meron.

I'll post the pics here later. And I have pahabol entry about our this year's Christmas party. We had pictures with Spongecola and a member of Pupil. I'll post the pics here din soon.

Basta, I'm happy right now with what I bought. I spent 2thou+ but I think it's worth it. Afterall, this has already been a long time plan and I consider this as a gift for myself this Christmas na din. ^_^

Happy Holidays to all!

Wee.. No Surf Control!

2006-11-21T12:05:00.000+08:00

Surf control has been lifted for several days already. Hmmm... I wonder what's going on with the IT, but it's actually a great advantage to us since we can so easily go to any site that we want to go to, and that means I can easily check my mails in yahoo and gmail, and more so update my blog. On with my thoughts...

This is actually one of the things that I can't understand with myself. I'm feeling better now compared to the previous days, but I can't tell yet if I'm totally okay already. 'Course it's not a good sign if you continue to dwell on something bad for a long time, and it's not really healthy to dwell on past things, it prevents you from moving on. You get stuck and you don't get to do the things that you should do, or to work on things that you need to work on. I'm not really dwelling on it, but I still keep on contemplating since I want to move on, but I don't know or I haven't decided what to do yet. If you're moving towards change, it involves decisions. And that's what I'm going through right now.

What I was actually thinking is when I should start moving towards that change. I want improvement, and improvement means change, and change means leaving some things that you've been comfortable with behind, together with the things that you so much wanted to let go as well. There are things that need to be sacrificed if I want to have this change. And that, I think, is the only thing that stops me. The fact that I'd be getting out of my comfort zone, to welcome new things that I don't know whether it's going to be a lot more enjoyable, or if it's going to be something that I'd regret. Going there means no turning back. 'Course I still have a choice to go back, but that's not going to be a good decision either.

I am almost done contemplating, well at least I'd like to think I'd be arriving on a decision soon. The sooner the better, because time goes on and it won't stop for me, so I must go with it too. So far, I found that the the change I wanted to go to doesn't cost me anything bad, other than the reason that I'd be leaving the comforts I have in my current spot. It even opens me to a lot more opportunities and a lot more benefits I guess. Anyway, I wouldn't know what's there in store for me if I'm not going to take the risk.

I think I have been missing on some of God's promises in times that I get confused and gets in a limbo of making decisions in my life. Life's busy-ness and negative emotions have clouded the good things I've learned in life that I've almost forgotten them. I should not forget that God is always with us if we allow Him to. It is through putting these thoughts into writing that I see more clearly that I have been missing on things and that I should constantly be reminded of, especially at times that we lose hope. It is really good to keep notes, and I'd like to quote some of the passages I took note in my little quotes notebook for myself, and to the people who gets to read this blog entry.

I can't remember the exact words of one quote I received one time through text message that says something about taking risks. It compared taking risks to exploring the sea for an unchartered land. You won't be able to discover what's in store for you there if you don't go beyond the security and comfort of your shores, and you won't see the land if you're not willing to explore the vastness of the sea. Yeah, something like that. ^_^

For the fear of the unknown, here's what the Lord says:

All things work together for good to those who love God. -Romans 8:28

So why worry, right? I have God on my side!

One text message I received once said:

God made the world round so we would never be able to see too far down the road. Faith is not believing that God can; it's knowing that HE WILL.

For anything that we don't know, we always have our faith in God. Why have faith? Well, isn't the good things and lessons we've had through our lives a proof? We've been able to get out of life's tangles alive and is still here. When in doubt, count your blessings =).

Go on with life lang.

Thank you talaga Lord.

Not Good

2006-11-17T16:31:00.000+08:00

I actually feel like all of these now...

and

And I didn't really think a time will come that I'm going to use this unkymood...

I just had one of the greatest disappointments in my life. Things have not been happening as how I want it to be. I am okay most of the time, but not happy, and now I feel almost devastated.

I am still thinking if I'm going to write here the most recent events in my life, because It's very disappointing and I don't think I'd be comfortable sharing it with other people. I would like my friends to know what happened, and this is one way to let them know, but this space is published online and everyone else can view it. Anyway, I'm still thinking, so I might write the details here some day.

Basta ngayon, I'm really not feeling okay. I got mixed emotions. Disappointment would be the strongest, and others are regret, lack of self-confidence, low self-esteem, and loneliness. I feel like a big loser, with a big "L" written on my forehead. I was even on the verge of crying yesterday, that I wanted to run some place else where I can scream and shout and let loose. I even wanted to drink, to make me forget myself at least for a while, something that I don't really do. I actually wanted to cry at that moment. It's just that I'm not in a place where I can freely let my tears flow.

Kaya yun, I resolved to making myself feel better by at least going to the mall and take a walk. Palamig lang ba. I actually wanted to go to a much more relaxing and less crowded place before that but I already felt a little better after several hours of holding back my tears and so I just wanted to make myself a little happy by probably just staying a little while in a coffee shop or watch a movie. Well, I don't think the tear-holding-back did not really make me feel better. I don't know, but the intense feeling of crying suddenly subsided out of just plainly holding it. Maybe it just went away for a while but I know, once it suddenly goes back into my thoughts again, I won't be able to stop myself from feeling distressed and sorry for myself.

I can only describe how I feel now. And this is not even the whole thing yet. This is just half of it. I'm starting to get confused, perplexed. I don't know what to feel. Basta.

Sa totoo lang, you won't notice I'm feeling this way when you see me in person, unless you observe me for a moment and you know me very well. I'm not an emotional person, and my friends usually tell that my face is most of the time expression-less, making me look like mataray. Ewan ko ba. I've asked my friend yesterday if it's something bad and if I have to worry about it, binalik nya lang sa kin yun tanong tapos dinagdagan nya ng "may masama ba syang epekto sayo?" I've thought of it and I think wala naman, or none that I know of, but I was also concerned about how it affects the people around me. I mean, it doesn't harm me, but I don't think it's helping me either. Kaya napapaisip ako. Ay ewan.

Magulo, magulo talaga. Details to follow na lang siguro. Basta the reasons are career, lovelife, and family problem. I just hope I'd be able to share and write it here nga lang.

Mesmerized by Lea's Voice

2006-10-23T20:56:00.000+08:00

It's not really that it was only now that I felt this. I have always been drawn by Lea's voice. She was actually someone I look up to when it comes to singing. I like her voice very much and I had actually liked to copy her style and her voice since I was a kid, elementary days to be exact. I also like to songs she sing, it gives me that ethereal or magical feeling, her voice was so apt for songs being used as soundtrack in Disney movies and in musicals. I really like it.

It was just only now that I thought of searching of things about her, when I once heard one of her songs again. Honestly, I don't really like her voice that much anymore now compared to how I liked it when she was in the height of her broadway career. It was actually her voice quality then that I'm after. I have almost forgotten that I can find almost everything now in the internet because I got so occupied of the things I acquired eventually as I grow old. I have even almost forgotten that I like Lea's voice, and in fact I thought that some of the new artists have already taken her place, but no. When I read her achievements when she was doing the Miss Saigon and some broadway musicals and Disney songs, I can't help but get amazed at how far she've gone in the musical industry.

Youtube is really a wonder, although I just got a feedback from Kuya Pao recently that a lot have been complaining about the site due to copyright infringements. But it was there that I saw some of Lea's videos that I would have been delighted to have watched then. I like her most when she was still young. She has a very pure voice.

Here are some of my favorite videos and I'd like to share it with you.

This was when Lea auditioned for Miss Saigon and got the part of Kim, the lead role. I can't help but giggle whenever I see the look on the faces of the people who listened in when Lea sang one of the songs in the play. In fact they are not just ordinary onlookers. They are Nicholas Hytner the Director, Cameron Mackintosh the Producer, and Alain Boublil the Composer. Claude-Michel Schonberg is the one on the piano, also a composer. The extreme satisfaction is obvious in their faces! Obvious that they've found the ~~right~~ perfect artist for their lead female character. She really is amazing. ^_^

And this is Lea's interview in UK.

There was even a video of her wedding. I like the part where she sang her vows. Awww! So sweet! Her groom cried. It was so touching.

Lea is one of the reasons why I'm still proud being a Filipino in spite of some of the bad things the world has been hearing about us, I won't enumerate it here anymore. Our country has been home for a lot of talented singers, in fact the Miss Saigon has never had one show that did not have a Pinoy cast, be it lead or just one of the supporting characters. Ang galing talaga, kakabilib! ^_^

Interview

2006-10-12T08:37:00.000+08:00

I just had my interview for supervisor trainee position a few hours ago. I was actually nervous before that, and I kept on praying that the Lord would take off too much nervousness in me, coz you know, when you're too jittery because of nervousness, you're more likely to mess up things. I was there on time, I waited for a few minutes, and there came 3 people who introduced themselves as the panel who'd conduct the interview. I was actually surprised when I saw the team manager, because he was still young. I think he's only about my age, or just a few years older than me. And then the other two were supervisors, a lady and a cute chinito guy (but I think he's gay).

So we proceeded in a small conference room but were not able to use it because I think it was locked, so they lead me into the corner most part of the floor, and surrounded me there. These people are just in their mid-20's just like me, but of course since they are in a higher position than me, I am showing some respect. But the team manager have seen it more like a lack of confidence on my part. That was the feedback he gave after the interview, that I'll be needing a stronger personality if I'm going to handle reps to be able to command them and make them submit to me. And he actually emphasized on that, but it's the only negative feedback that I got. It's just that, he only gave a negative feedback =p.

So of course, I am not hoping or expecting much of a positive outcome in that interview. As far as I can remember, this is the only interview I had for promotion for the year. I haven't passed any application since last year. I was really hoping to get the promotion this year, but I think I still need to work more on the confidence and stronger personality part. It's still the same negative feedback I got since the last interviews I had. I was too timid and shy, they say. Argh!

I have to take off this lid that's stopping me from achieving more and my maximum potential.

I was thinking of changing my url again... but all of the names I've thought of are already taken. Grrr!

Nakokornihan kasi ko sa url ko eh.

MIA

2006-10-04T13:38:00.000+08:00

I have not been able to bond with my journals/diaries/blogs for ages. I don't know why I've had so much, maybe I just enjoyed writing before. I keep 2 notebooks for my hand written journal, one spring notebook and the planner I got from drowning myself of Starbucks coffee. And then I have 4 online journals, or more commonly known as blogs. I have one in Friendster, Blogspot, i.ph, and my Multiply. I don't really write anything in Multiply anymore, I just store my photos there for sharing but since it also has a blog feature, I've included it in my list. Besides, I've once posted there.

I can't really remember why I have obtained so much journals even if one is already enough to contain all my thoughts and anything about life. I had notebooks, I remember, because I would like to have a more personal touch and more privacy on my daily accounts. I actually started keeping a diary when I went to college. And then I started blogging because an officemate encouraged me too, and also another reason was to learn basic html. I did learn a lot about html from blogging that it greatly helped me in updating our support site at work. My first blog was Blogger. And then I signed up for a Friendster blog because I want to give it a try =p. And then I had Multiply for my online album, and then last is the one from i.ph because of their short url. There. But then, I have so much that I can't even update a single one. I grew tired of it. I lost interest.

I am now back for several reasons. I have seen the benefits of keeping record of my thoughts and the things that happened to me. One is because I was able to evaluate myself, making me see things that I need to improve on and behaviors that I need to change, and I have entertained myself with events worth remembering. Another reason is because I have already earned friends through blogging, and some of them still don't forget to check back on my space, even if it had been idle for a long time. I feel that I somehow give them happiness with what I write, probably because they can relate to some of my expriences too. It actually makes you feel better if you know that you're not alone in a certain difficulty, aight?

I just hope I still get to update this thing regularly, or at least just have it updated whenever. What matters is I don't stop.

I currently have 2 songs that kept ringing in my ears and that I can't stop singing of. One's a christian song and the other one is secular. I liked the acoustic sound of Deeply In Love by Youth Alive, a love song for Jesus, and on top of that, of course the message. Adding to the beautiful voice of the female singer, it makes a sound that is very pleasing to the ears and it's easy to sing too. I like sing-able songs, those that have melody or tune that's easy to sing or vocalize, and words that are sung at a moderate speed.

The other song is the So Sick, female version, because of the RnB beat. I like RnB's too and it's not that difficult to sing either. I've actually been singing with every pause I have, unconciously. It's my LSS (last song syndrome) of the moment. ^_^

Masarap Kumain

2006-08-03T14:35:00.000+08:00

I am taking again that chinese medicine, Ling Zhi Zuang Yao Wan (I don't know if that's spelled right), as an apettite stimulant. I really have no plans of taking it again, if not for the request of my younger sis to split the bill with her. A bottle of 50 caps costs 400 pesos and since she wants to take it but has no money enough to buy a bottle, she decided to share it with me.

We are a family of slim types, the types that no matter how much we eat, we don't get fat. It actually sounds great to those who doesn't want to gain weight while getting to eat all the nicely, even the sinfully (fattening or unhealthy) delicious food but to us it has become a slight problem. Yes we don't get fat, but we loose pounds and become underweight so easily, which makes us slimmer. And because we're so slim (read: thin), it sometimes is difficult for us to shop for clothes that would fit us well, and we look like walking sticks.

I'm actually the thinnest among my sisters, that's why even if I'm the eldest, people think I'm the youngest because I'm not only slim, but petite. I am not really a picky eater and I don't eat like a bird either, but it seems like the foods I'm eating are getting nowhere, no matter how much food I take. I was even investing my money on food, not depriving myself whenever I want to eat something just to make myself plumper but it looks like it's all wasted.

My sister and I are currently into this weight gaining program because we've been losing it because of stress. Me because of the graveyard shift and lack of sleep, and it's the same for her, except that it's because she's currently taking her law proper, causing her to stay up all night. I'm currently in the transition of getting a morning shift, thank God that one has been vacated so I'd finally get to live a normal life. That's why I don't really need the medicine but I decided to take it anyway to help my sister and to speed up my process of gaining weight a little.

I've taken it before and though I've become a little plumper (they say I looked like a siopao then), not much weight was gained. I'm not very happy with the results for zits have also sprouted in my back and in my forehead. And to make it worse, I was only getting plumper on parts that should not be plump, like my tummy and my cheeks. It looked like I always have candy on both sides of my cheeks and it doesn't look any good coz my face looks fatter than my body. It didn't make much difference in my arms and legs, the parts that I want to become fleshy. The gain is not proportion. That's why I was also hesitant in taking it at first. But my sis says it works fine with her, because she've been taking it since I introduced her the med (that was the last quarter of 2004 yata). It had the same effect to her as well but it eventually became okay. I think it might be just the initial reaction of the body, I don't know. She's now only taking it as a food supplement, to help maintain her appetite, or to bring it back in case it's lost, she might just have to increase the dosage.

So I've decided to take it again but I cut the dosage into half, taking only one cap a day. That's actually already enough. The bottle says to take one cap twice a day. The first time I tried it, I was eating like there's no tomorrow on the second day pa lang. I eat to the point that I already can't breathe, and I can't move anymore because of my bulging tummy, but the craving still doesn't stop. It's like torture, you know? Not only to my body but to my pocket as well. My friend who recommended it to me said that dosage should be reduced into half once you're already eating like a giant.

As I've said, I'm now taking it once a day and I've felt the gluttony (hehehe) on the second day alone. Malakas ang epekto ng gamot sa 'kin so I don't really need to take it as perscribed in the label. Another thing, I can control the effect, like if it's not enough, just increase the dosage. One cap a day works fine, and I'm on my 7th day na yata. Since then, I've been eating again like a hobbit, having several meals in one day. Maya't maya may kinakain ako, and I can't sleep without having a midnight snack. So far, no zits have sprouted, though I have one right now but I take it as a sign that I'm going to have my period soon. It actually used to be like a bad case of acne, but I did not develop any right now. Talaga lang yatang unang lalaki ang tyan kapag malakas ka kumain. I'm now complaining because I can feel my tummy when I sit, and it's uncomfy. I feel like my tummy's being stretched too much that I'm afraid it would stay like that. This calls then for an exercise.

The results I'm expecting are slowly becoming obvious now. I just hope I won't come to a point that I'd look like a siopao again. But so far, I'm liking the results, except for the bulging tummy. I'm now planning of squeezing an excercise routine into my schedule, probably badminton or taekwondo after my shift. Sana lang hindi ito hanggang plano lang 'no.

Glowing Inside

2006-07-30T17:23:00.000+08:00

Being a music lover, I also liked to keep records of the songs that inspire me and songs that I can relate to. I sang this song in a debut I attended to, and the mother of the debutante can't help but cry with the message. I don't know the whole story of what's behind her tears, but I sure feel this song had a strong impact to her. She even said she's already teary-eyed the night that we practiced the song. I failed to put myself in the song, which caused me to kind of mess it up during the performance, but it still had an impact to the debutante's parents, specially with her mother.

What's still important is the message. That's why I picked this song. Anyway, this song was really made for mothers, and I'd like to share its message to everyone who reads this blog.

Glowing Inside
by Nikki Gil

Happy to let you know, You make me glow
I feel so good, it's true
So glad that I have you
You love me so, now all is bright
I'll always...

Thank you, for the glow and
Thank you, for the joy
Thank you, for the love you gave to me
I'm glowing, glowing inside
With your love, shining through
Thank you, for everything you do
I'm glowing inside, because of you

Remember my growing years
They're filled with joy because you're there for me
You cast my fears away
You wipe those tears
You gave me strength each day, I...

Thank you, for the glow and
Thank you, for the joy
Thank you, for the love you gave to me
I'm glowing, glowing inside
With your love, shining through
Thank you, for everything you do
I'm glowing inside, because of you

Who knows what tomorrow brings
My glowing wings, they make me fly
I'll reach, and I will touch the sky
Because of you, I soar up high
So I'm a...

Thank you, for the glow and
Thank you, for the joy
Thank you, for the love you gave to me
I'm glowing, glowing inside
With your love, shining through
Thank you, for everything you do
I'm glowing inside, because of you

First Time High

2006-07-26T23:01:00.000+08:00

I am not really used to wearing dresses, in fact I haven't worn any since the time I've become aware of my appearance. The last time I wore one was when we came to church during the christmas celebration when I was still a kid. Sadly I can't post a copy of the pic here, but it sure was funny because I was wearing a pair rubber shoes with it. I was eating a popsicle stick in the picture, with my face smudged with melted ice cream on both cheeks. Our scanner is busted so I can't upload a copy in here, but I will not be afraid of posting it since I find it very entertaining. As I have said, I am not very conscious yet of my appearance that time and my mother either doesn't have a very good fashion statement. (she's the one who was dressing us up then).

Anyway, I recently got invited to sing in a debut. It was my Kim's cousin Claire's debut and the theme is whimsical, so they made some modifications with the name of the entourage. It was actually only the 18 candles that have been modified, making it into goddesses instead of candles. The rest, like the roses and the treasures, remained the same. The occasion asks for a semi-formal attire and since I was also included in the 18 goddesses, I was required to wear a semi-formal dress.

I really got worried of what I'm going to wear, for I don't have any dress that will suit the event. Besides, as I have mentioned, I am not used into wearing dresses, so I don't have any either. On occasions that required semi-formal attires, I always wear two-piece clothings, with either a skirt or most of the time pants bottoms since I am much more comfortable with it, but I find dresses too formal and sexy. It shows too much skin and I am not easy with it. So I kept bugging Kim, who invited me, asking for assurance that it would be okay for me to wear pants. She kept saying it's okay as long as it's not denim. I think Kim is just being too nice and shy to tell me that I'm required to wear something more formal than that, or she just don't know how to say it without disappointing me. Anyway, I myself found out that I should wear a dress when the event came.

I was already determined to wear just khaki pants and pink blouse but to play it safe, I brought the dress with me. It was actually what I wore when I went there, because of course, I won't be travelling wearing the dress. When I came there, I've proven that I would stick out like a swollen thumb if I had insisted wearing my humble khaki pants and pink blouse attire. The entourage is actually wearing pink and lilac dresses and they look like they are going to march for a bridal entourage. It was my first time to attend a grandly celebrated debut and I would feel really out of place if I don't wear the dress. The entourage is actually dressed in formal. So there, running out of time because I came in late, I hurriedly slipped the dress on and voila! I've transformed into someone I don't know ^_^. It was also the first time I've seen myself in a formal attire.

Very much uncomfortable, I also hurriedly put on some make up. Actually, it looked like I did not put anything. I don't have any make up with me and the only things I have as make-up are an eye liner and a loose powder. I don't even have a lipstick! It looked like I was only asked a day before the event to prepare because I don't have anything with me. I am also not into make up so I don't have any but it was that moment that I realized it is also a necessity for women on occasions like this. Gosh, this is one of the hassles of being a female. Men are okay with just a few powder, in fact they don't need to put anything at all on their face just to look presentable but women will need at least a lipstick in order to not look like a corpse. In fact it's not even enough. You'll need things like foundations, eye shadows, blush on, etc.

So because I almost don't have anything, I just settled into putting on whatever I have in my bag and just borrowed the rest from Ross, who is also included in the 18 goddesses. To make things worse, I only don't have the things I need, but I also don't know how to apply make up! And Ross, though she was able to make herself beautiful with it does not know how to apply make up to others. So what I just did was to draw some lines on my eyes with the eye liner, put on loose powder to remove the shine, and asked ross to apply a blush on of hers in my cheeks and that's it. Oh, the lipstick? I don't have any so I used my Nivea lip gloss that has a hint of color in it. I was even jittery while applying the liner and Ross tells me to relax but I really can't. I really get shaky whenever I'm tensed and it really shows. And because of this, I told myself that I should be learning to put make up on my face, and to have one ready in case needed.

I still feel uneasy when we went out the bathroom after the quick fix for the entourage and I kept pulling the front part of the dress up because it is very low. Plus the dress has spaghetti straps and with it, I already feel naked. I kept mentioning to Ross how uncomfy I was and she kept reassuring me it's okay. I then calmed myself down because I realized, the stubbornness can make me look foolish enough.

Dinner was served first before the program since it started at 7pm. I can't eat my food well because I really feel very uneasy. Not only because I am not comfortable with my dress, but that I am also going to sing any moment. I could have sufferred indigestion if I was not able to control myself at least a little. I was taking deep breaths and was drinking a lot of ~~water~~ Coke. It was what was served with the food and besides, Water makes me feel more bloated and I get full easily with it. So in other words, I was not able to enjoy the food that much because I was very uncomfortable.

Then came my number, and I began to feel more nervous. Though I managed not to make it show while I was giving some talk before I start, it showed during the performance. I had several stops during the song, because my mouth gets dry out of nervousness. So instead of swallowing uncontrollably while singing a word, what I did is stop to take breaths and give my mouth some time to wet. And to top it off, the guy playing the guitar is also nervous and so that made him play a little faster and that's also one of the reasons why I ran out of breath. The song even has a part that will require a little belting and that even made me more breathless. It really went fine during our practice but the performance itself was a mess. The song is Glowing Inside by Nikki Gil originally done for the Vaseline shampoo commercial as a tribute to the graduates' moms, and I particularly chose that song because the message went well with the occasion (it's actually already the closest I can get).

I headed home while Ross and JayR went to Greenbelt because I still have to wake up early next day for church. Eventough I'm not really happy with how I did, it's not that bad either, and I'm already thankful for it. I went home relieved of the fact that it is finally finished.

And so what I learned from this experience is that nervousness don't help. It even makes matters worse. I really have to work on it, or else I'll make myself look foolish and embarass myself in front of many people, even if it should have turned out fine.

Bamboozled

2006-07-23T17:56:00.000+08:00

Wow... It'd been a very long time since I've had my last post. I am not really a frequent updater or a regular poster. It shows naman diba? ^_^. Yeah I know reich and din-din.. I've been gone for years (overstatement). This is actually already the "regular" blog update for me. You guys should already get used to it, for if I'm going to blog about the long absence, this would already be a regular introduction everytime I post.

Anyways... there were just things that bothers me these days. I am starting to worry. I am not really a worrier, but it doesn't mean I don't worry at all.

I used to have a regular monitoring of myself.. that is through journals and planners. I keep one notebook for the written, more personal and private thoughts, the blog for the things I want to share, and the planner to keep track of my schedules. Ang dami no? Well, it really helped me a lot, but because my priorities got messed up lately, a lot of the things I have neatly organized before are now a chaos.

I used to be a very busy person, always making plans for what I'm going to do, from the next hour, to next month. That's only the farthest I've gone. I haven't thought of anything I want to happen yet after a year, 2 years, or 5 years. My plans are short termed. It was just like because I have a lot of activities to attend to, like work, friends, ministries, family matters, bills payments, money allocations or budgeting ( I don't have that much money so I have to do this), that I'm making plans. I just do it to get organized, not really to lay out something I'd like to achieve in the future, like setting goals.

I was so contented before, 'cause it was also the time that I am trying to forget someone I have to let go. I managed to get on my life the soonest I can, and I even got involved to more church activities, drawing me closer to God.

I really don't know, 'cause up to now, I am still thinking, what caused me to be like this? All those activities I have before, some have been gone and to some that are still there, I grew cold in doing. I've lost my passion. I even don't have my quiet times or devotions anymore. Is it because I just got tired? Do I just lack motivation? What is it then that made me do those things before, without a single complain and I'm always happy doing it? As other's would say, "nanginginig pa" because I find it ecstatic? Ano?

I really don't understand myself now and this has already been going for several months. The regular quiet time is already a big loss, but I just don't understand myself, why am I not doing anything? Not to mention other things like I'm already left behind when it comes to career movements. A lot of my batchmates, and some of my team mates that came later than me are already climbing up the corporate ladder and look at me? I'm still stuck to where I've been ever since I entered this company. And to think I'm nearing my 3rd anniversary here?

Yeah.. I've thought of those things. I am very aware I am not making any progress, I even got worse in some area. What's happening?

Lord... Please help me.

How to LOSE a Guy?

2006-06-22T03:46:00.000+08:00

I've just watched How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days... yeah, just now. I know the movie is quiet old but since I've got not much time in watching, it was only now that I was able to see this good movie.

It was about a girl who's a writer in some kind of a women's magazine, and she was asked to write something about how to lose a guy in 10 days.

I just can't understand why would someone write about losing a guy in 10 days when so many girls are going gaga over how to get a date which means getting themselves liked by guys or in other words, WIN a guy's attention?

I think I know why. To give the story a twist or to give the story's twist a reason. Whichever it is, I don't think this kind of article's going to sell in the real world. The movie's good though. ^_^

Keys Me

2006-06-14T01:18:00.000+08:00

Tawang tawa talaga ko...

An officemate shared this to us. I don't mean to mock this girl but I can't help but share this video. I was mesmerized by her beauty but when I heard her sing, parang gusto kong magtago.

In fairness, galing nya sumayaw.

Check out this video.

My Birthday's Account

2006-06-06T04:55:00.000+08:00

My birthday just passed and I can say I've been happy at least. I've had a small party at our house, which is really not in my plan but things went fine. This is the first time I've held a birthday at our house where I've covered all the expenses for the party. First time because I've never done this eversince I got a job and I've never celebrated my birthday since then. Birthdays to me are just ordinary days, I even still come to work on my birthday, since I became a working person. It was not that important to me, and besides, nobody seems to care about it. Hahaha! Bitter ba? Well, maybe. But I already got used to it. And also, I don't know why, but I'm shy celebrating it. I really don't like to be the center of everyone's attention. I've always been afraid of messing around so I don't like people's attention to be always focused on me. Or even if it's not that, I just feel weird.

So as I've said, it went out all fine though it was unplanned. Unplanned because I've just decided I'll go ahead with it when it was already 3 days ago before my birthday. Earning money is really hard you know, because it somehow gives you a lot of responsibility, and that includes giving your friends a treat whenever there's something special that happened or happening to you, like birthdays, promotions, and anything that needs to be celebrated. Not to mention that it adds up to the expenses you already have with the share you need to hand in to your family, specially if you're the eldest. You have this responsibility as well to help with the family's expenses as soon as you graduate or get your first job, and the need increases if your parents are not earning that much and you still have 4 siblings to support in their studies. Why then am I stating all these when I meant to write something about my birthday?

Well anyway, I guess it just all comes out now that I was thinking of it. This celebration thing had really costed me quite a lot. I've never spent that amount only for a day's consumption, or is it just because it was my first time throwing a party, not to mention it was just small. I am not mentioning the amount here anymore, for I think it might sound already a huge one for me but it may be just right or even smaller for others. Well anyway, just for the record, I think I've spent almost P3,500 just for the food alone.

Now that I've written it down, I've thought it's not that bad. I've heard some people spend that amount of money in one dining, and it's only for probaby 5-8 persons, but that will be dining already in an expensive restaurant. I might have probably spent more than that if I just treated them by group and dined outside. And me spending that money have already made almost my whole worship team mate and I think about 8 of my other friends, a mix of a few of my officemates who made it there and some school mates, the people in our house included, and I've even managed to give plates of pansit for our neighbors. I should've even spent more than that, because I've had some San Mig Lights ordered for my officemates (of course, my churchmates don't drink. me either) that would come but since the very unpredictable weather suddenly poured out heavy rain showers, most of my officemates who promised to come were not able to make it. I feel sorry about it, for they sure would have made my birthday happier, but some of them still have shifts that night so I would be so inconsiderate if I forced them to come. It was still happy anyway with my church band mates almost complete and my family there.

All of them enjoyed the food, thanks to my aunts who cook so well, that even if we just prepared simple dishes, everybody enjoyed it. Dhea, my second sis and my cousin Aireen also helped. We just had some grilled tilapia, pansit bihon, grilled pork chops, lumpia, baked mussels, spicy sisig, and rice. I was kidding my cousin about the sisig, that she meant to have it done like that so the visitors would only be able to eat a few coz it was her who prepared it and those who tried it said it was too spicy, but it was one of the first that was all consumed. And take note, no left overs. Haha! It was all meant to be served for dinner. I did not do anything with it anymore, coz I still came from work that morning. I spent the first few hours of my birthday at work but the night after that was my rest day so it's just okay. I was awake the whole day and I don't have sleep the night before so I really felt wasted.

Since my officemates still have work early tomorrow and one even has a shift that night, all of them left early and my churchmates were left. Alcohol is not really allowed with us, it was never encouraged, and I even got reprimanded for having it in my birthday, even if I said it's just for my officemates. Well what can I do, but to accept their sermon and promise not to do it again next time. Anyway, we had videoke after eating, and everyone have already gone before 12 midnight because we still have seminar at the church by the next day and we still have to prepare for the worship and be there early in the morning.

I'll share some pictures.

My aunts preparing the food, with my sister at the stove. She's wearing glasses to protect her eyes from the onions. Hehehe

with my officemates. Just the few who made it. From left: Arn, Igl, liz, and me. Igl came on the verge of the outpour. This photo was taken a few minutes after I and Igl stepped into the house and our feet and pants are still soaked in water. See how wasted I look.

I took this photo. Sila na halos lahat ang bisita ko.

Glorious food

Saying grace before meals.

Kainan na!

Me with my beautiful girl friends from church. From left: Viven, Joy, Ate Bing, me, Fay (Vi's twin), and Frani. All of us sing for the worship team except for Joy who's our bass guitarist.

Express, Not Impress

2006-05-30T06:29:00.000+08:00

I've been surprised when I visited my blog again. It's been a while since I last took a peek in this space of mine because I was so busy (I'd probably be giving an account of this later) that I didn't even have time to check who's visiting and who's tagging. Pagtingin ko, may mga bagong names sa tagboard ko! Tuwa talaga ko, promise ^_^. I also miss visiting the page of my blogging friends. I guess I really have been gone for a while, for din-din and kendi have already thought I'm on hiatus. ^_^

'Lam nyo friends, I used to make it a point to have this blog updated with the thought that people are reading this from time to time so they are expecting for a regular update, and also to impress other bloggers with my thoughts and to fish a lot of comments from readers. I was so enthusiastic then, being driven only by that reason, which of course caused me to have writer's block most of the time. Sabi nga dun sa blog entry na nabasa ko from Rex, you're a certified blog addictus if you've been thinking of what to write in your blog from time to time and yes I admit, I became a blog addict when I started. Kasi I started out this thing with the aim of practising html skills lang so nung una nga, panay pa ang palit ko ng template. Hahaha! Natatawa ko sa sarili ko pag naalala ko yun, kasi most of the time, puro pa-cute lang ang laman ng blog ko noon.

But the time came when I got tired of it. Kakasawa din pala. Nung tumagal, sobrang dalang ko nang mag-update, na nagkaroon pa ng time na umaabot ng 1-2 months bago ko maglagay ng post. Pero ayos lang din, kasi hindi naman nawala blog ko. I now write to express, not to impress.

Pahabol pala, sobrang hirap din ako nun kasi pinipilit ko talagang puro English ang sulat ko sa blog ko. ^_^ Eh kesa naman magpilit akong magsulat ng english kahit di ko naman feel, mapapahiya lang ako sa mga barok at wrong grammar ko. Hindi yata ako naka-impress nun, napahiya pa ko. Basta ngayon, mas-importante yung maisulat ko dito kung ano talagang laman ng isip ko, kahit sa paano pang paraan.

Maraming salamat sa mga bumibisita at naglalaan ng oras na mag-iwan ng message sa tagboard ko at mag-comment sa post ko. Naappreciate ko talaga ang mga bagay na yun. It really feels good to know that some people care to read and know your thoughts, diba? Much more if they share their own opinion. Sa ganitong paraan, nafi-feel ko nagkakaroon ako ng kaibigan, kahit sandali lang sila bibista, at kapag mas nagiging mabuti pa, nadagdag pa sa list ng blogs na madalas ko na ding pinupuntahan ^_^.

Naisip ko ngayon, mage-evolve din pala ang pamamaraan ko ng pagsulat sa blog na to. Mas naging totoo na ang mga laman. Mas naging ako. Yun nga lang, medyo madalang ako magsulat, pero masasabi kong mas may halaga na ang mga naisusulat ko ngayon, dahil wala na kong alalahanin na ipakita sa mga sinusulat ko kung ano lang ang gusto kong makita ng mga tao, o kung ano yung gusto kong maging ako sa mga nagbabasa. Ang hirap nun, sa totoo lang, kasi kung hindi ka naman talaga ganun, plastik ang dating. Noon, parang feeling ko lagi akong nagsusulat ng essay for submission pero ngayon, parang diary ko na lng 'to, or parang open letter.

Salamat talaga sa mga bumibista. Pasensya na kung hindi ako ganun kadalas mag-update dito, kasi I'm also keeping a journal notebook, na sa ngayon eh di ko pa din nasusulatan ^_^. Sobrang busy talaga. Pero again, thank you sa inyong lahat.

Farewell Cands

2006-05-02T22:53:00.000+08:00

(This is an overdue post. I would have not been writing this blog entry if I haven't read Arn's blog entry.)

April 30,2006 Sunday, we went to Candy's place to celebrate her despedida party. This is going to be the last time I'd be seeing Candy because she's going to Dubai by May 3 to work there. Bon voyage cands!

So we had our assembly (all of my officemates who are going to the said party) at Goldilocks in SM Bacoor. It was actually a great feeling having this kind of meeting because the people I'm going out with are the ones I just get to work with, no gimmicks. This is a whole new experience because the only thing we got to do together is work and it gives me a feeling of excitement to do something with them that is outside of work. As what Arn said, it looks like a bonding session.

So we got to Candy's place at already late afternoon and almost everyone is already complaining of hunger. The first people who got there were me, Arnold, Liza, Kim, Drake, Agnes, and Anne Aguas who's a former team mate. Then Ross, Igl, Francis, and Derek came a little later. Candy and her mother served the food just right after the second batch of us came. Then we had our fill.

Derek, at the first sight of the videoke machine looked very excited (this is just what I first thought of when I also saw the machine and when I knew that he's coming) because I think he's a videoke buff, having visited I think almost all of the ktv bars, from the expensive ones to the low profileds, based on the stories I hear and the gimmicks he's inviting Candy with whenever he appears in our area, having a chat with everyone he knows. And I also kind of expected this kind of stuff in Candy's party because she also loves to sing, and she's a good one, having been a finalist in PeopleSupport's Idol (naks Candy!). And it showed that everyone else in her family is also a videoke freak when we started playing it.

So after eating came the singing or the videoke, and I was kind of anticipating this too (I won't deny it) because it's also one of the things I like doing. And I was even surprised to see almost all of my colleagues that came to the party participate. It's the first time I saw and heard Arn, Ross, and Anne sing in a videoke. I never have thought these people are also game in this videoke stuff coz I never even heard them talk about it. Igl, Kim, Drake, and Derek, though hearing them for the first time, did not come as a surprise to me anymore since I've already heard them tell stories about their videoke affairs. And my comments are:

Candy: RnB princess. the Kyla of PS
Ross: I didn't know you can sing well. You have a nice voice. Soothing. Like that of Gwyneth Paltrow's. Especially when you sang Bette Davies' Eyes
Arn: The song's you sang were nice It's the first time I've heard those and they're really nice songs, but it appeared like I'm the only one who doesn't know in the group. Nice for getting the highest scores!
Kim: I don't know. Because Derek's voice is louder than yours when you sang. And I think you were already drunk when you joined the videoke session ^_^.
Drake: Manly voice
Francis: Girly voice. Hehehe
Derek: It seems like he sang every song that was played in the videoke. And loves to sing belting songs. Was holding the mic all the time.

According to Arn's blog, it was me and Derek who "owned" the videoke machine. Actually, it was more of like it's Derek, because he was singing in every song played, even if it's already Candy's folks that are holding the mic. I sort of appeared like that too because first, I like it, and second, it's the only thing I can do while I'm there after eating. I can't drink with them simply because I don't drink. And so I just sang while they're busy passing their tequila and red horse shots. There were two mics, and it was Derek that's more like it because he simply can't stop singing holding it and singing duet when it's somebody else's turn, was still trying even if the second mic was already broken, and would even sing somebody else's song.

Liza and Agnes went home early, and then Arn and Anne at about 11 pm. I stayed with the rest until I think 4am in the morning and we just sang all our hearts out all night with the rest of Candy's friends who had their turn in the use of the table in front of the machine to have their drinking session. I got home at 5am in the morning.

All in all, I had a great time with them, and we all wished Candy bon voyage on her trip to Dubai. Candy doesn't really like to leave but she needs to for reasons I can't state in here because it's very complicated and it's too personal. Well Cands, just be happy wherever you go. We'll certainly miss you.

The Sun Will Still Shine...

2006-04-14T05:18:00.000+08:00

I just can't help not to share these beautiful images captured in my camera. These photos have been taken weeks ago but I just got to upload it lately because our worship leader borrowed my digicam. It was actually them who took these breath taking pictures.

Ate Marose, our worship leader is a lover of God's wonderful creations, sunsets being one of them. Going to Baywalk has become one of her favorites things to do when unwinding. She borrowed my digicam because they'll go trekking or hiking in some place but the event was cancelled. Since it is only every weekends that we get to see each other, she got to capture pictures of the scenic sunsets in Baywalk with the use of my camera. It's just sad that I wasn't able to join them because I am currently having a hard time getting sleep in the morning and I still have graveyard shift at that time.

Well, enough with the talk. I'll let the pictures speak now.

I like the color of this one. My officemate's comment about this photo was it looks scary, I don't know why, but I find it soothing.

This is my favorite photo. Ang ganda talaga.. It was Archie who took this picture. Ang galing. Yung timing nya sa position ng boat, the sun, the colors... and this is only with the cam in Auto mode. Nothing set manually. Thumbs up to you Chie!

Look at the rays! The orangey color reflected in the water, and the cruise ship from afar. Nice!

Even with the ball all covered, it just can't stop showing it's glory with its rays trying to show up behind those heavy looking clouds. And the red-orange color it made below... great color combination.

The sun taking its last peek. Bye bye... See you tomorrow. (^_^)

I can't couple this entry with some insightful words or quotes like some of my blogging friends who are into photo blogging, for I can't think of anything at the moment. I was just so awed with the images that I'd like to share it to everyone.

Oh if you want to know, these pictures are taken using a Canon Powershot A510, in 640 x 480 resolution, with the camera set in Auto mode.

Enjoy!

The Art of Letting Go (Repost)

2006-04-07T07:46:00.000+08:00

While reading this part of Elisabeth Elliot's Passion and Purity book, I was amazed at how exactly Beth was able to describe the process of letting go in this example.

The growth of all living green things wonderfully represents the process of receiving and handing over, gaining and losing, living and dying. The seed falls into the ground, dies as the new shoot springs up. There must be a splitting and a breaking in order for a bud to form. The bud "lets go" when the flower forms. The calyx lets go of the flower. The petals must curl up and die in order for the fruit to form. The fruit falls, splits, relinquishes the seed. The seed falls into ground...

There is no ongoing spiritual life without this process of letting go. At the precise point where we refuse, growth stops. If we hold tightly to anything given to us, unwilling to let it go when the time comes to let it go, or unwilling to allow it to be used as the Giver means it to be used, we stunt the growth of the soul.

This doesn't only apply to letting go of someone we have dearly loved, but applies to everything that we have been afraid of giving up. I have always wondered why we have to come to a point where we have to give up something that we have been comfortable of having. Now, seeing Beth's example in her book made me understand why. Most of the time, we become bitter to God when He takes something from us, the fact that everything in this world, including ourselves were owned by Him. Most of the time I find people questioning God very hard why He would take something when we have already found our happiness and comfort in that thing, while they will see the answer if they just looked around. Observing just how nature behaves (in the case of a flower) will give them the answer.

I've come to realize then that hard feelings are part of the process of letting go. We cry, we yearn, we regret, and we blame. But these are all part of preparing us to receive something better. As the saying goes, "Gold is purifed by fire".

We can't avoid going through the hardships of letting go, but this should not be a reason for us to stop at our tracks. Maybe we might put it this way: "I might have lost something that has become very important to me, but I know God is preparing something better, and so I should not worry about it. I should instead be thankful that I've had some time to experience the happiness that that thing had given me".

The end of the chapter goes like this:

The more you perceive God's purpose in your life, the less terrible will the losses seem. The seed does not "know" what will happen. It only knows what is happening---the falling, the darkness, the dying. We were being asked to trust, to leave the planning to God. God's ultimate plan was as far beyong our imaginings, as the oak tree is far from the acorn's imaginings.

God's answer to everything we don't understand is simple: TRUST ME.

*********************
This entry is reposted upon Jay's request. He's a new found friend of mine and we've known each other for 2 months by April 8 (am I right Jay? ^_^). We were talking over the phone yesterday when I've just thought of sharing this particular blog post of mine. This is actually one of my favorites. Part of the classics ^_^.

I've read those lines from one of the books I've decided to buy and read during the times I am having difficulty in the relationship I'm in that time. I've made reading inspirational books about relationships as part of my "therapy" in the process of letting go.

It never fails to inspire me up to this day. This entry has helped me realize that pains exist for us to be better persons, and this reminds me that if I not welcome such circumstances in my life, I am stunting my own growth and maturity. And it also helps me set a better view of the future, it made everything clearer.

To my friends who are currently undergoing the pains of letting go, this post is especially for you. May you be inspired by the things around you. Don't let any of those bad things blur your view of the beautiful things God has for you. You might be missing a lot. God is good, ALL THE TIME. And that includes bad times.

God bless you all. (^_^)

Blog Lags

2006-04-04T03:54:00.000+08:00

I noticed that I have not been blogging as often as I did when I started. I also got affected by the blogging craze before, but I never thought the ethusiasm in me would die down. I was able to make a few new friends through blogging, and I admit I miss them so much, even if our friendship only limits to the thoughts we've shared through our blogs, and the greetings exchanged through our tagboards and comments boxes. Blogging has opened my mind into a whole new different world, where I found that most of the time, the kind of people you get to know when you read their blogs are not exactly the kind of people they are when you get to meet them in person. It will not always mean that whatever person you come to know when you read their thoughts doesn't always be the person you'll see when in front of many people. That's what I just felt, based from my own experience, for I have some blogger friends too who I know personally and yet they are not the same person in blog and in the real world. In the blogging world, you may find the deepest thoughts they have which you don't expect they can think of. People can get so deep in blogging.

I miss my blogging friends. You may not know it but I sometimes just silently lurk into your blogs and read your thoughts or just keep myself updated. I might not make my presence known, but I do visit your blogs from time to time.

And to those who still visit my space, I really appreciate it.

Bloop bloop... BLOOPER! (marami ako nyan)

2006-03-24T05:06:00.001+08:00

Wahahaha!!!!

Grabeh! Dala na naman ng kaantukan ko, may kapalpakan na naman akong nagawa sa call... at dinedma lang ng customer. ^_^

Customer: Can I have the tracking number of my order?

Me: Okay. The tracking number I have here is (which is uf 032306), U, F, like Urban Exfress.. Oh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! That's Urban Fetch...

Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

Nagising ako dun ah, pramis. (^_^)

My Guitar

2006-03-16T05:10:00.000+08:00

Just thought of writing something out of the blue...

I just woke up from a short nap. It's 5 o'clock in the morning and I am here at the office. I decided to read my Daily Bread devotional during downtime. I fell asleep while I was praying (oh, how bad), thanking God for what I've read. It hit me so I prayed and said sorry, but I didn't know I fell asleep =(.

This is really nothing about reflection, although that's the thing I like most to write about. I just like to put whatever is in my head right now into writing.

I've been thinking of getting a guitar. It's been quiet a while since I last played the last guitar I've had, which was my fourth piece. I've had four guitars all in all, each have been replaced because it gets broken. The last one I've had was the one I like most, because it has a pick-up. And because of carelessness, it got broken again. The first 3 I had though, were broken because my mom would slam it out of annoyance. Naiinis na sa kin kasi yun ang hawak ko bawat minuto, hindi na ko mautusan. Pero each time it gets broken naman, they'll buy a new one. I think they saw the desire in me to really play the instrument and they find it fun din naman siguro so as long as I play, they buy it.

I started playing when I was 13, my second year in high school, the time I had the eagerness to learn about the instrument. It all started with the thinking "wow! and astig kapag marunong kang mag-guitar!" So I resolved to learning it in any way I can find. I noticed that I have a great liking in music when I was in my late elementary days, but the music I like then was the music of the 80's, being the local rap as the popular genre. Yung mga panahon na kausuhan ng mga kanta nina Andrew E., Michael V., Lady Dianne, Francis M... yun. Hahaha! I laugh when I remember. Tanda ko nun, memoryadong memoryado ko yung Humanap Ka ng Pangit. At aliw na aliw ako kapag nabibigkas ko ng malinaw ang mabibilis na salita sa rap songs. Though my parents used to make me sing The Greatest Love of All and I love to sing Tomorrow, tapos idol ko nun si Leah Salonga, but I didn't know then that I can sing well. Basta alam ko, nire-record pa yun ng parents ko. They don't tell me I can carry a tune.

So it all started with the desire to look astig to my friends, to the combining of my innate music liking. I changed the genre of music I listen to when I started to learn to play, shifting to alternative and love songs, those that can easily be played in the guitar. No one in the family was really playing the guitar so naturally, we don't have one when I started liking it. But seeing my playmates, the guy ones, every afternoon holding their guitars in front of their houses, I associated myself with them out of eagerness with the instrument. Sabi ko turuan nila ko. I tried to learn with them, but they don't have the eagerness to teach me. And they said it'd be easier to learn if I have my own. Kasi nga naman, tinutugtog din nila yung sa kanila no. Kaya kinulit ko ngayon parents ko bumili ng guitar and they did naman.

Ang haba na ng kwento ko ha...

I don't play well, but I know how to. I'm already happy when I can play a whole song, no matter how simple it is, and sing it with all my heart while playing. Wala lang, gusto ko lang. But of course, I'd like to be more versatile, being able to play other techniques.

Now, I am thinking what to buy, since I would be using my own money na to buy myself a guitar. It was only now that I decided to buy my next after how many years na din kasi, I made it a point muna to save some money, be able to help my family financially, and buy the more important things. The most expensive I got then was my last, which my father got for 1,500 bucks, second hand. Magkano kaya dapat kong budget? I want a guitar that's slim but sounds nice, easy to play with, and can be amplified na, or yung may equalizer. Kaya lang susme, pinakamurang nakita ko eh 7,000. Sabagay, isang store pa lang naman ang tiningnan ko. I am not ready yet to spend that amount of money for a guitar. Hindi naman ako tutugtog sa banda. And besides, I have younger siblings who'd also be using it so hindi praktikal. Ano bang magagawa ko kung mabasag nila yun? Sorry lang ang makukuha ko.

Sana makabili ako ng guitar na gusto ko.

4 by 4

2006-03-15T00:53:00.000+08:00

Tagged by Sup Ia

Now since Ia tagged me and I don't want to fail her, here are the answers (^_^).

4 Jobs I've Had In My Life

student

Component Feeder Calibrator for KATOLEC

Call Center Agent for TelePhilippines (now TelePerformance)

eRep for PeopleSupport

4 Movies I Could Watch Over And Over

all Harry Potter

Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Spiderman

The Mummy

4 Places I've Lived

Gloria/Bansud, Oriental Mindoro (our province)

M. Dela Cruz, Pasay City

Multinational Village, Pque

Pildera 1, Pasay City

4 TV Shows I Love To Watch

Batibot (when I was a kid)

That's So Raven

Lizzie McGuire

4 Websites I Visit Daily

Yahoo Mail

Friendster

Google

Dictionary.com

4 Of My Favorite Foods

sinigang na hipon

sea food

pizza

popcorn drizzled with melted butter

4 Places I'd Rather Be Right Now

in a cozy bed, drawing Z's

by the sea shore, gazing the horizon

on a hill top, under the shade of a big tree playing the guitar while singing (preferrably done with a company)

at work, coz it's my workday today

4 Bloggers I Am Tagging

kahit

sinong

gustong

sumagot ^_^

LSS: Falling by Keahiwai

2006-03-14T23:30:00.000+08:00

I loved this song first time I heard it. Hanggang ngayon, LSS ko pa din sya, ilang weeks na ^_^. I hope I can play this (and sing at the same time ^.~) with a guitar some day.. and I hope that'd be sooner!

Falling
words and music by Keahiwai

I wanna tell you baby that you're the one that I'm thinking of
But your heart is still with her and I think she's the one that you love
I only want you happy even if it's not with me
Maybe one day you'll open up your eyes and you'll see

That I think I'm falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yeah I think i'm falling
Baby I'm falling for you

From the first time you laid your lips on mine
It feels like the smile on my face will last till the end of time
But im not so sure if you're the one that I should pursue
My mind tells me no but my heart only says that it's you

That i think I'm falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yeah I think I'm falling
Baby I'm falling for you

Only time will tell
The mystery has yet to unfold
Who's gonna feel love's warmth
And the other left in the cold

Yet still I'm falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yeah I think i'm falling
Baby I'm falling for you
That I think i'm falling
Maybe I'm falling for you
Yeah I think im falling
Baby I'm falling for you

Hmmm... wondering if this is also the state of my heart? Uyyy.. intriga yan! Hehehe... I don't really know (^_^). But I'm happy. ;-)

Still, my first love is Jesus. Who's my second love? That's something I am yet to find out (^.~)

Ey! This is my 100th post! Hahaha! Wala masyado wenta entry ko =p.

So Unworthy and Yet...

2006-01-24T03:09:00.000+08:00

This says it all...

Who Am I
by Casting Crowns

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

Bye B(y)eh... T_T

2006-01-20T05:30:00.000+08:00

Before I Let You Go
Freestyle

I could still remember yesterday
We were so in love in a special way
And knowing that you love me
Made me feel oh so right

~~But now I feel lost, don't know what to do~~
Each and everyday I think of you
Holding back the tears
I'm trying with all my might

Because you've gone and left me standing all alone
And I know I've got to face tomorrow on my own

But baby, before I let you go I want to say I love you
I hope that you're listening coz it's true
You'll be forever in my heart
And I know that no one else will do
So before I let you go I want to say,
I love you

I wish that it would be just like before
I know I could have given you so much more
Even though you know I'd given you all my love
I miss your smile, I miss your kiss
Each and everyday I'll reminisce
Coz baby it's you that I'm always dreaming of

Because you've gone and left me standing all alone
And I know I've got to face tomorrow on my own

But baby before I let you go I want to say I love you
I hope that you're listening coz it's true
You'll be forever in my heart
And I know that no one else will do
So before I let you go I want to say,
I love you

Letting you go is never easy
But I love you so
That's why I'll set you free, yeah
And I know, someday, somehow I'll find the way
To leave it all behind me
I guess it wasn't meant to be, but baby...

Before I let you go, I want to say I love you
I hope that you're listening coz it's true, baby
You'll be forever in my heart
And I know that no one else will do
So before I let you go I want to say...
So before I let you go I want to say...
I love you...

Sometimes, the most important thing that we get from a relationship is not the guarantee of permanence, but the lesson that we learn when it fails. *sigh*

Hope you have a very happy birthday. Maybe it's happy because you at last got rid of me. (just kidding ^_^. Hindi po ako bitter. Tanggap ko na.)

Thanks for everything. I'm going to miss you. God bless you atid!

Hand-Formed Pots

2006-01-14T11:03:00.000+08:00

This is a reflection of my devotion for today...

It was about tests and trials or troubles in life. It was compared or described in the way hand-formed pots are made. We are the pots, and the process the pots go through are the trials we experience in life.

Hand-formed pots are made in a process that allows the spirit of the artist (potter) to speak through the finished work with particular directness and intimacy. Like pots, we are "hand-formed" by our Maker, with "particular directness and intimacy" and that each of us is formed in a unique way for a unique work: "We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them" (Ephesians 2:10).

We were always told that we are all uniquely created, and the Scripture states that we are made for good works. As I read on it, I've thought of the process pots go through until it is finished. All pots go through the same kind of "cooking process" or preparation; first it is shaped by the potter and then it is "fired" in a kiln. There it is cooked (burned) and dried. And then some are even thrust into a smoldering sawdust pile and remains there until it is finished. The more "painful" the process, the more refined and elegant is the finished product.

I'm currently going through some painful trials and troubles in my life. And I also have friends who are going through different but the same painful experiences and have confided their sentiments to me. It helps to think that you are not the only who goes through the same unpleasant situations, that you are not alone, so it won't make you think that God is being hard on you only, and that he Has no favoritism.

But the pot making made me appreciate the trials more. Yes, the process is so painful that we sometimes can't help but to grimace in pain, but thinking how we will make an "elegant pot" after made me accept it, rather than question God why He has to give me such discomforts. A friend told me (Rhoan, I am talking about you. You may not know it but you really blessed me and uplifted my spirit with these words), that maybe the reason why God is giving us these, for it seems like all of us in the worship team are afflicted, is because He's preparing us for a bigger task. And instead of grumbling and feeling sad, he was happy about it! Sabi pa niya, "nae-excite na tuloy ako!" (He said "I feel excited"). Grabe Rhoan, nahawa mo ako. I can't help but smile when you mentioned those words. It is also through you when you mentioned those encouraging words that I saw how sometimes God speaks to us through friends. ^_^

I like how they wrote it in The Message Bible translation what Paul said in James 1: 2-4. It said "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."

Trials exist, not to break us but to complete us. We might be going through the same pain, or some might be undergoing more painful ones, but we must know that without these things, we will not be complete. God's purpose was not just to make us complete, but to make us beautiful and perfect, not lacking anything.

Maybe the reason why we are still hurting is because God is not finished with us yet, or like what Rhoan said, He may be preparing us for a bigger task. Our God is a God of happy endings, so if you are not yet happy, then it is not yet the end. Whichever it is, we should not be bitter but rather be thankful that we go through these things, because it is also for our good, that we be made perfect. God loves us, and He only wants the best for us. ^_^

What The New Year Brought To Me

2006-01-04T10:56:00.000+08:00

Of course, with the long time I've been gone in the blogging world, a lot of the happenings in my life were missed by this blog. It's because most of the time I don't feel like writing it here and sharing what I've been going through, besides the fact that I am not a creative writer.

Most the things I've been through during the past year, or just the past month, were not so good experiences and feelings, and I just don't think I should still carry it with the new year. Like what they said, past is past.

Well, not my most recent and last experience for the year 2005. I'd say it was a great thing to end the ending year and to start the coming year. I am thankful I was able to go there because I would have missed a lot.

I have been to a 3 day worship camp. During my stay in the camp, although short, I was able to have time with my fellow worshippers and so I was able to express myself more freely in worship because I am with the same crowd! It's actually one of my problems most of the time, I am not that expressive with my feelings, and the most sad was I was even ashamed to show even my feelings for God. Well of course, you don't see Him, and you can worship Him anywhere. What I'm really afraid of is for people to think I am probably insane or that I'm a show off if I'm going to express how I feel for God before them. I usually feel that during Sunday worship, where you are worshipping with the congregation. In the camp, I learned I should not feel like that.

You know how you look like when you speak (sometimes with different words), laugh, cry, dance, and/or REACH for something that nobody can't see? That's how it is with God. God is spirit, and so nobody can see Him. God is worshipped in faith.

In being afraid of what people will think whenever you feel like expressing yourself to God, King David in the Holy Bible was given as an example. There was one time that he was in high spirits and in a very worshipful mood that he even danced naked in worship to God. Talk about being undignified! He forgot about himself. And to think he's a king and he's doing that in front of his servants. He didn't care what they think of, as long as he gets to express his worship for the Lord. That's just saying that even David, a king, didn't care what people would think as long he expresses what he feels for the Lord.

Honestly, I am still struggling with it, and that's one fear I have to overcome. I should not be ashamed of what I do for the Lord, and God is asking for an extravagant worship. Actually, He doesn't have to ask for it, because that's what He deserves.

God is good. And his mercy endures forever.

A Test of Faith

2005-11-09T09:43:00.000+08:00

We had our usual Sunday service as to how it would appear to most people, but we in the team Enoch, the church's worship team, always make it a point that every Sunday would be like a fresh experience because of course, we always aim to give our best for the Lord. What we usually do as a team, since we have this very close ties with each other, closer than a brother/sister but not more than a friend, going out at the end of the day has become a part of our Sundays as a bonding session of the team whenever we still have the time and energy left.

I was having a deep conversation with one of my team mates while waiting for the others to finish their practice when we two decided to go ahead and just wait for the rest of the gang in the mall. We then went outside and waited for a jeep ride to SM Southmall.

We then continued our chat while waiting for a jeep. Then all of a sudden, a motorcycle with two passengers passed on her side causing her to collapse and hit her head on the road's floor. The impact was so strong that I heard a loud thud and I got so nervous at the thought that I might see blood gushing at the back of her head. Fortunately there was no blood, but a big lump appeared at the spot that hit the cement. The motorcyle hit her or her hair got tangled in a part in the motorcycle, or at least that's what I thought, until I noticed that the bag of my mate was missing and saw it was held by the backrider of the motorcycle in his left hand while still glancing at us. They were robbers. They took my friend's bag.

We were not able to spot or remember anything that'll make us recognize the criminals in case we report the incident to the police station for they are so heavily disguised. They were wearing thick biker jackets and motorcycle helmets that covers their whole heads. I wasn't even able to see the motorcycle's plate number, or if it has any, for my full attention was diverted to my seriously injured friend, who obtained a large, very painful lump at the back of her head and bruises in her right arm from the bag that was forcefully slid through her arm. I think she turned a 180 degrees from where she stood because of the impact but again fortunately, there were no broken bones.

We headed back immediately to the church since it was just on the other side of the street. I told them immediately everything that happened and my friend was comforted and given a first aid right away.

I got a little shaky at what I saw. Well, little because I am used at seeing robberies when I was still taking up my engineering studies because it's not an unusual sight in the places I am passing on my way to school, and even within the school vicinity. Our school is situated in a place nested by a community of mostly muslims at the side and at the front was a railroad inhabited by squatters. So you can imagine how dangerous it was. I haven't learned to dress up so much during my engineering days because I don't want to make a nice target for snatchers and hold-uppers. But those were only done by runners or robbers on foot. This one however were done by motorcycle riders, so they're much more difficult to catch and will cause you much damage. I just don't understand why would they still steal when they can afford to buy a motorcyle. And take note, it's the motocross-type.

It was the first time it happened to us, but there have been reported thefts in the place. Our church is alarmed, but all we can do at the moment was to pray for our safety. And I believe that's the best thing that could be done at such situations.

I just started to wonder why such things happen, and to the most unlikely people I can think of, us or to my churchmate at least. They say God have reasons in making things happen and that everything that happens has purpose. But why such a bad thing would happen to someone who devotedly serves Him even if the person is already suffering from a number problems. I said a while ago that this friend of mine and I were having a chat. We're actually talking about the problems she's currently going through.

They say God tests you during difficult times, but I don't want to give my own opinion in it. If God says He's in control, then He is. If there's something questionable to us, we still need to trust Him. Afterall, He's God and He's our Maker. And most of all, He's our Father. I'll just leave it to Him, to let me know when He thinks it would be the right time for me to know. He knows best. We just have to have faith.

Genuine faith stays strong even if deliverance seem distant. for "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him. -James 1:12".

We may not fully understand God's purpose in our difficulty and suffering, but we must not cease to love Him. We must trust Him and hope in Him in spite of the trials that threaten to overwhelm us.

Catty? I Think Not

2005-10-16T01:36:00.000+08:00

I have been thinking of having cats as pets this time. I've longed to have a pet to care for because I think it looks fun. Well, we do have a dog in the house but my father seems not to like it. Naaawa na nga ako, sa labas pinapatulog. I can do nothing naman, because she's dirty. She was not trained properly because nobody in the house have the time to. So, kahit umuulan, sa labas siya pinagi-stay ng tatay ko. Kakaawa talaga. I can do nothing naman dahil baka ako patulugin ng tatay ko sa labas (just kidding), but my dad will really just scold me. I can't take the responsibility naman of taking care of her dahil I don't have much time nga and since she's already fully grown, it's also hard to train her. The dog's really pitiful, she hasn't even got a name.

Our dog's askal, and because dogs proved to be of high maintenance, like you have to train them, and give them a regular bath but in spite of that they still stink, and loads of stuff, that I gave up of thinking of dogs as pets when cats came into my mind. I really like having a dog, but I don't have the time to train them. I tried to research some stuff about cats and also based on my own observation na rin, they look less demanding than taking care of a dog. Besides of being naturally affectionate, which is a trait you have yet to develop with dogs, most cats don't mind just staying inside the house, so you don't have to keep a constant look out for them. And because cats are less popular here in pinas, most of their stuff (I think) are less expensive than dogs'.

I was considering of having a black cat for a pet. Ewan ko ba, but I found them beautiful when I saw this picture. This is actually the exact cat I want to have:

The Bombay Cat

Ganda no? Well.. I find them beautiful, and based on their characteristics when I searched about this breed, they are the ones that's perfectly suited for me ^_^. Nga lang, I doubt it if such breed exist here in the Philippines, being the siamese and persians the popular and dominant breeds, or should I say the only breeds? I don't know much about the available breeds in the market, but I think I'll take even an alley cat, as long as it's pure black and is still a kitten. Ayoko lang sa alley cats, gala. I don't know yet if cats can be raised to be satisfied indoors lang, but I think they can naman.

Why black? Because I want to show people that there's no such thing as bad luck among God's creations and that the poor thing is just one of the victims of proofless superstions. I am not really a believer of them (superstions), but I do accept that there are unseen entities and other what's-out-theres that are stronger than us eventhough I haven't felt or seen any of them yet, but that would already be a totally different topic. Basta I believe such things exist, but there's still the most powerful of them and of us all, who is of course, none other than the Lord God our father.

But to put it simply, I really find that shiny black coat very beautiful. ^_^

Ebooks

2005-10-04T07:02:00.000+08:00

I've been doing some catching up on Harry Potter books lately. Yes, it was only now that I've read J.K. Rowling's famous hero wizard boy's stories, thanks to ebooks. I was not able to read it before because I don't have a book and I don't know anyone to borrow it from either. And I just can't afford to spend a considerable amount of money (you know how expensive these books are, knowing it's been the best seller of the time) in buying these books, even the paperbacks. I would love to collect these books but I just don't have a place in the house to keep it unharmed for a long time. I do have a place to lock them out of the careless hands of my siblings, but I don't think I'd be able to keep them locked in safe because I love books and so I'd just like them in a place where I can easily reach them whenever I want, even if I'm lying in bed. And the best place would be the dresser which is located on the end of our double decked bed, just on the top of our heads. But it is not really a safe place to keep things because my sisters are also putting their stuff there too, like other books and so the space right under flat top below the mirror (I don't know what it's called) gets piled up with books. And sometimes out of hurry, they tend to just pull everything not caring about some things that are also there, tripping all the other books so some are likely to end up under our dusty bed. And I don't really like my books that way. I want them preserved and keep them looking new as possible. Our room is not really tidy, considering that all that sleeps there are girls. We have a very small room that it already looks like a bodega (stockroom) with all our stuffs there. And all of us don't have all the time to get our room tidied up. We all appear so busy to find time to clean it up, or we're just not fond of cleaning our room. Or it's just it still looks messy no matter how much cleaning you do with it. And we already got used to it. And mind you, it's the same dresser where I put my digital camera which I strongly believe, dropped off from a certain height, and whoever dropped it just mindlessly put it wherever part of the dresser her hand landed, because I found my camera on the edge, not in the usual place I keep it. I was so regretful of putting it there and so for that, I can't blame anyone. It is obviously not a very safe place to keep delicate things.

As of now, I'm still reading book 3, Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban, and I'd say books would still be a better read because the ebooks have a lot of typographical errors, and I'm not sure if I'm reading a complete text or if there are some missing paragraphs. It is such a spoiler, specially if you will find the error at certain part where you can't afford to miss anything.

I remember reading a part in the ebook of Harry Potter 2, where because of frustration, I got annoyed and laughed at the situation at the same time. It was because I was very expectant and was hanging at every word said, when all of a sudden, everything just didn't make sense, and I found out that almost a paragraph was missing! Grrrr! On the other side though, I found it funny because it was Dumbledore who's speaking and knowing that Dumbledore is sometimes a little weird, I have actually almost believed it's what he really said. But me having watched the movie thought that there must be something wrong. So, I tried to find another HP2 ebook and checked it out there. Luckily, the other ebook was typed more neatly completely and it was there that I found out that the line has skipped several paragraph. Sheesh. Imagine the look of horror on my face! But I can't help but laugh at myself because I actually believed that was the very words Dumbledore has been saying, in spite of the situation. Let me share you the lines so you can understand me more clearly:

"If the governors want my removal, Lucius, I shall of course step aside-"

"But-" stuttered Fudge.

"No!" growled Hagrid.

Dumbledore had not taken his bright blue eyes off Lucius Malfoy's gray ones.

"However," said Dumbledore, speaking very slowly and clearly so that none of them could miss a word, "you will find that I will
ummer was creeping over the grounds around the castle; sky and lake alike turned periwinkle blue and flowers large as cabbages burst into bloom in the greenhouses. But with no Hagrid visible from the castle windows, striding the grounds... and so on...

I was like, "Ano daw????". Yun ba ang sinabi ni Dumbledore? Parang hindi ata???" (What??? Is that what Dumbledore really said? Looks like there's something wrong???).

And so I tried to find another copy and it was there that I found out that these lines are missing:

"However," said Dumbledore, speaking very slowly and clearly so that none of them could miss a word, "you will find that I will only truly have left this school when none here are loyal to me. You will also find that help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it."

For a second, Harry was almost sure Dumbledore's eyes flickered towards the corner where he and Ron stood hidden.

"Admirable sentiments," said Malfoy, bowing. "We shall all miss your--er--highly individual way of running things, Albus, and only hope that your successor will manage to prevent any--ah--'killin's'."

He strode the cabin door, opened it and bowed Dumbledore out. Fudge, fiddling with his bowler, waited for Hagrid to go ahead of him, but Hagrid stood his ground, took a deep breath and said carefully, "If anyone wanted ter find out some stuff, all they'd have ter do would be ter follow the spiders. That'd lead 'em right! That's all I'm sayin'."

Fudge stared at him in amazement.

"All right, I'm comin'," said Hagrid, pulling on his moleskin overcoat. But as he was about to follow Fudge through the door, he stopped again and said loudly, "An' someone'll need ter feed Fang while I'm away."

The door banged shut and Ron pulled the invisibility cloak off.

"We're in trouble now," he said hoarsely. "No Dumbledore. They might as well close the school tonight. There'll be an attack a day with him gone."

Fang started howling, scratching at the closed door.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN
ARAGOG

Summer was creeping over the grounds around the castle; sky and lake alike turned periwinkle blue and flowers large as cabbages burst into bloom in the greenhouses. But with no Hagrid visible from the castle windows, striding the grounds...

and so on...

See? That was not just one paragraph! Grabe talaga. Naiinis ako na natatawa. Irritated that the lines could be cut off in such a part and laugh at my foolishness of almost believing it's what really Dumbledore said, and that it was continued in a line which can complete the sentence but is not really apt for the situation.

But somehow, these ebooks had managed to keep me up and busy during downtimes, not to mention it didn't cost me anything. Nga lang, may drawbacks.

I was thinking tuloy of buying the real thing na lang. Besides, I can read it pa anytime I want without turning the computer on. And guaranteed no missing paragraphs.

I also have a favorite line from HP2, which goes like this:

"It is our choices, Harry, that shows what we truly are, far more than our abilities." -Dumbledore, HP2

So much for that. ^_^

What Kind of Question is That?

2005-09-25T06:18:00.000+08:00

if ever na magiging gf po kita eh ayos lng ba na kiss kita sa lips mo?

I can't really figure out why would a guy ask something like that. All I can think of is that if he asked that kind of question, chances are it's one of the main reasons, or probably just the only reason why he would like the girl to be his girlfriend. And that's very superficial.

I can't stop thinking just why would a guy ask something like that. And I can't help but think it's not impossible he'd be wanting more than a kiss on the lips. How would you react if you were the girl being courted (if that can be called courtship) by this guy and that you've only had 2 weeks since you've known each other? That you have just gone out like only 3 times and he's already asking if you can be his girlfriend? Is it even good that the girl went out with this guy in the first place?

I can't think of anything good this guy would want. All I can see is selfishness. If that's the case, he's not loving at all. He wants to win the girl's favor because he's aiming to get something from the girl. What a jerk. Would this guy be worthy to be the girl's boyfriend? Haaay.. why do these kind of guys exist. I just hope no one would be deceived by this jerk, and I wish I wouldn't be one of the victims.

If you're the girl, would you still go out with this guy? Is it possible that he just asked it out of nothing or that he just thought of it and that it doesn't really mean anything, that he just asked it for the sake of asking?

Digicrap

2005-09-22T06:46:00.000+08:00

It was just a few months ago when I bought my digicam that takes good quality pictures. I was very happy then because I at last got one that's so sleek, convenient and handy without spending too much money. Though it's second hand, it takes very good quality images and has a considerable amount of storage because it came with a 128mb SD card.

I haven't really had used it much when 2 Sundays ago, to my disappointment, I found out that the cam was damaged. Grabe, wala akong makita sa LCD kundi mixture of distorted colors and not a single hint of clear image. I was very excited pa naman that time since I have been waiting and wanting to use it the day I check it out. All my rechargeable batteries are being used kasi by my siblings and I haven't had anything to use on my cam since whenever I see an available pair, it's already drained. Tapos, ang bubulaga lang sa kin, nothing sa LCD, wala.

I was not able to do anything but get disappointed. Kahit naman mura lang ang bili ko dun, sayang pa rin. I haven't tried bringing it yet to a repair shop and have it fixed but I'm already having this feeling na I am more likely to spend much more. Kasi parang nasira yung lens nya mismo. At first I thought it was only the LCD but when I tried to transfer the images to our computer, ganun pa din ang nakita kong captured images so it's most probably a problem in the lens itself.

Hay naku naman... nakakapanghinayang talaga. Pangalawa ko na kasing digicam yun eh. Yung una, nasira din kasi hindi sya branded saka ampangit pa ng picture quality. Kaya guys, if ever you're going to shop for a digicam, don't be fooled by those who boast about their high resolution shots dahil hindi dun nagdedepend ang quality ng image (as what I have observed lang ha, but I strongly believe it's not the deciding factor), unless you would want to have extremely large prints. But for sharp and good quality images talaga, it all depends on the lens. Masmaganda ang lens, masmaganda ang kuha. At syempre, pag gadgets, yung masmahal yun ang maganda. Ayun, nasabi ko lang.

Sayang talaga. Wala na akong magawa.

Joke lang yung mood ko sa taas. Eto talaga ang mood ko for this post.

Blank

2005-09-17T02:24:00.000+08:00

I wan't to write something but can't think of how I'd start.

I'd like to share what I've read during my quiet time last week but I think I still can't think of any words to write right now. I'm already drowsy.

Maybe next time.

Just want to update my blog.

Trying New Things

2005-09-08T06:58:00.000+08:00

I found this cool website which offers "free" (sabi nila) blogging service like blogging courtesy of trish. I found it more refined design-wise compared to blogger, and decided to give it a try.

Curious? You can check out mine by clicking here.

It gives you a wide range of designs to choose from, of mostly I think will satisy your taste. It is there that I achieved my very much wanted look of my blog, without having to strain my brain too much by thinking how I'll do and place it. Every choice I've had there just exactly fits my taste. However, there are still some features that are so limited, I'm still thinking twice if I'm going to change blogging service providers or not. Well, I don't think it'd hurt to keep two blogs aight? Besides, it doesn't really require me to migrate everything there. So, I'm still in the trying period. Maybe if I get to copy the look and feel of my blog template there, I'd still choose blogger over it. Blogger still gives me more freedom, and not to mention more space.

Sleepy Head

2005-08-29T06:59:00.000+08:00

I've noticed that I haven't been doing my usual affairs whenever I go online, like bloghopping and blogging, and I know I need not say that anymore. It's very obvious I have ignored the blogging world for such long time or several times now, but it doesn't really mean I've lost my interest. It's just that I usually find myself now sleepy most of the time. This really annoys me because I feel sleepy mostly at the wrong places and at the wrong time. I would really appreciate it if I'd fall asleep the moment my head touches my pillow, after I am done with my "planned" routines before going to sleep. but it's the other way around. I find it hard to get sleep once I'm already lying down in my bed because I'm being stormed with a lot of thoughts or maybe it's just that my eyes won't close. I don't really know. Maybe the fact that i sleep at the time of the day where people are supposed to be awake also adds to the agony. And then comes the time I need to prepare for work, where all people in the house are already getting ready for sleep. It's really so hard to have a graveyard work shift. Ah, the things a person would do just to earn money!

I am not like this before, and it's really ironic that I would be feeling sleepy when all you can think is I should've already adjusted and got used to this kind of waking and sleeping pattern. I should've gotten used to this kind of lifestyle to think that I have been like this for (exactly) 2 years already. Or maybe this is just an effect of a medicine I'm taking, but I don't think I'm taking anything this time. Anyways, I am actually taking advantage of this some time (dahil nga maling oras at lugar ako inaantok), because I used to have sleepless "days" before and it just adds to the stress I get from the pressures of life. To me, sleep is a luxury I can't afford all the time, that's why I grab every opportunity to get some.

It just saddens me that I get to ignore and take for granted the things that I enjoy doing whenever I go online. Blogging, blog hopping, tagging on tagboards, and commenting. Of course I can't comment if I don't read the posts. I have also missed the fun of reading free ebooks online. Well, I guess I would have to choose something that's better for me first this time because it'd not really be good if my health would suffer just because I am feeding my insatiable thirst (read: addiction) for the internet and everything in it. And besides, I only get to do all of these when I'm at work and I am using company resources and it's not really good to do that but it's my way of keeping myself up and wide awake so I should not take my work for granted as well. I am not being payed to blog and surf the net.

Perhaps once I gain enough strength to cope up with such addiction (hehehe =D), I would go back to my old routine, but I'll get it organized by then so as to fit it with my schedule without having my sleep suffer, and some other more important things to do. I have to be responsible for my every action.

Sevens

2005-08-29T04:02:00.000+08:00

Hala.. antagal na ko na t-in-ag ni arn for these questions pero ngayon ko lang nasagutan. Pero sabi nga, better late than never. ^_^

Here are some things that'll help you to have at least a little idea about me. These are arranged in no particular order.

Seven things that scare me...
1. a situation where you'll just beg to die but you're still alive.
2. hell
3. the unseen (I think fear is the more appropriate word for what I feel on these things)
4. cancer, or any painful disease
5. flying cockroach (yuck)
6. centipede (alupihan)
7. crazy/wild people (or even animals)

Seven things I like most
1. books (the Bible, novels, poetry, computer books.. hehe, whatta geek!)
2. the internet
3. gadgets
4. nature at its peaceful state
5. computer
6. music
7. pictures

Seven important things in my room (you mean "our" room... I share room with my sisters)
1. air cooler
2. mirror
3. blanket
4. books
5. trash can
6. wall clock
7. gameboy

Seven random facts about me...
1. I'm petite
2. I am fascinated with magical creatures and things
3. I'm attracted to geeks
4. I don't mind walking long distances
5. I'm a Christian
6. I'm meticulous (daw)
7. I look like chinese

Seven things I plan to do before I die...
1. live a life that's pleasing to God as much as possible
2. Let all the people I love know that I love them
3. make sure that I forgive and I am forgiven
4. probably have my own family
5. have my own house
6. have my own car
7. wala na ko maisip =P

Seven things that I CAN do...
1. I can flip my tongue top-side down
2. I can play the guitar
3. play chess
4. play a flute recorder
5. sing a tune
6. multitask (on certain things)
7. I can raise either left or right brows

Seven things that I CAN'T do...
1. drive
2. swim
3. sleep without a blanket
4. write with my left hand
5. sing BEAM toothpaste song with a sad face and with people around trying to make me laugh
6. drink coffee without creamer (unless I don't have a choice)
7. look at my crush straight in the eye

Seven things that attract me to the opposite sex (on first encounters)
1. eyes
2. smile
3. a gentleman
4. neat
5. nice-smelling (hmmm.. amoy baby cologne! hehehe)
6. humor; doesn't have a hard time making people laugh
7. lips

Seven things that I say the most...
1. anak ng tinapay... (pangit noh? =P)
2. sows
3. nyeh
4. weh
5. ano-no?
6. okidoks
7. ano ba yan

Seven celebrity crushes...
1. si Harry Potter =D
2. Christopher Reeves when he was the Superman
3. Chris Evans as the Human Torch in Fantastic Four
4. Orlando Bloom as Legolas
5. Brendan Fraser
6. Keanu Reeves
7. yung guitarist/vocalist ng Cueshe (di ko sya kilala)

Seven people I want to tag...
1. kahit
2. sino
3. na lang
4. gusto.
5. basta
6. chcheck ko
7. blogs nyo ;-)

Alam nyo bang halos 7 days in the making yan??? (weh.. OA si goldi). Hehehe.. halos din. Napakadami naman kasi ng 7 eh. Anyway, I'm glad I finished it. Now it's your turn! I'll be checkin' around na lng kung sino sumagot. ;-)

Unky Mood

2005-08-16T16:48:00.000+08:00

Oh my... kaya pala it's been days that the mood pics are only showing a red "x" in a box is because the unkymoods website is nowhere to be found. What happened kaya? This free moods for you website service has done a great part in putting some life in my blog and now, it's gone???

Walang magawa. FREE eh.

Can't do anything but to wish it'd be back.

I've Been Tagged!

2005-08-11T08:55:00.000+08:00

Okay. I've been tagged by already two people in my "A" - list of blog friends (Arnold, and Arglene) to answer these questions so, here's mine. Napilitan tuloy akong mag-post, hehehe. =D

Thanks to the two of you. Nagkaroon ako ng ipo-post. =P

1. What are the things you enjoy doing even when there's no one around you?

Think and talk to myself. And this one I really do alone talaga kasi kung may people around, di hindi na sarili ko kakausapin ko =P. I usually find myself pondering on something whenever I am alone and if it's something that raises question in my mind or something I just realized, I sometimes blurt out to myself the question or I'll just agree loudly. Just plainly talking "with" myself. Kasi I ask the question, and then when I've thought of the answer, I'll answer loudly. Weird noh. =P Mag-isa lang naman ako eh. Basically I was just thinking out loud.

Read. Who wants to be disturbed when reading? Though I don't mind having people around while I'm reading, It'd be better if I do it alone, specially if you're reading a very good book diba. I don't really welcome interruptions when I'm reading, but it doesn't mean I'm rude. Disappointed nga lang.

Listen to music. I tend to think and ponder a lot when I listen to a song, specially if it's something I can relate to.

Prayer and quite time or devotion. I'd like to have my time alone with God all ours. And given a choice and a chance, I prefer doing it in a very quite and peaceful place. Some place that's close to nature, like the seaside, on top of a mountain or a hill, or in a park.

Write an entry in my journal. I used to do this a lot when I was in college. I used to keep a journal notebook when I still go to school because I love to write and I I still have a lot of time to do it before. Saka wala pa kaming computer nun at sobrang namamahalan ako sa pag-rent ng pc para lang mag-internet. I still do keep a journal up to these days but I don't write much in it now. As in, mas madalas ko pa ngang i-update 'tong blog (madalas pa ng lagay na yan). I miss those times though.

2. What lowers your stress/blood pressure/anxiety level?

An inspirational song or any music with a soothing sound

Siguro if I'd be given flowers? (Hehehe) Or a rocky road ice cream

An encouraging word

People who believe in me and cheer me up, or plainly people who are there for me no matter what

Crying I guess, lalo na kung medyo mabigat problema ko. It's something kasi that I'm having difficulty in doing. I only can't cry hard enough, but I'm having a hard time making myself cry. Another weirdness of me.

3. Tag five friends and ask them to post it in theirs.

ia, karla, russ, tanda and trisha. =)

*************

Bout the mood: Though it's not literally Friday, I put it because today is my Friday which means, it's my week end at work! Rest day ko na! At gusto kong manood ng Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!

Update At Last

2005-08-09T06:32:00.000+08:00

I know. I've been a delinquent blogger. Having no update or post for almost a month now, I am actually distressed of what my blog has become. It almost seemed like.. dead.

What's keeping me from updating? Of course, the common excuse: busy. And also the lack of anything to post. I just can't find anything about me right now that's worth sharing, or if I have the nerve to share it. Most of the happenings in my life now are I think too personal to be published here.

I've been through a lot since my last post. It's not that I don't want to share it or write some of it here, but it's just that I don't know how I'll tell it. What I should write. I am currently having difficulties in expressing myself in writing, not as much as before. I even find myself having difficulty in expressing what I feel or what I want in words, finding myself quite most of the time now. There are even times I find myself staring blankly. Oh well. There have just been some things that have gone out of hand. I'm still fine though.

Also, I've been kept busy by our support site at work. Almost a year and a half ago, I volunteered to update and maintain it because I want to learn how to. Besides, no one else in the team wants to and can update it. We don't have enough techie people in the team and since I'm kinda geeky (I want to learn all that coding stuff), I took the initiative. Now that I've learned how to, I already find myself dragging my feet to do the task. Bad me. But of course, the responsibility is still mine. I just thought of making some major changes, particularly in the way it looks to make it appear more lively or eye candy and due to lack of resources, not to mention the surf control that prevents me from accessing some sites that offer free resources because of irritating trojans and spywares, it takes all the free time I have in the office so I end up not having the chance to blog or even bloghop. I can't even chat with my seatmates and officemates. I tend to get so engrossed with what I'm doing because I pay so much attention to details. I'm kind of OC when it comes to web design.

I miss blogging and blog hopping. And I hope to get back in this blogging thing that I used to go crazy about the soonest possible time.

New Look

2005-07-14T07:18:00.000+08:00

Wahoo! At last! Nagpalit na din ako ng template! Hehehe...

Nakakasawa din pala yung puro ganun na lang. O baka yun na talaga personality ko. Nabo-bore ako kapag walang changes na nangyayari. Mas-enjoy kung may variety. This doesn't apply though on some things pa rin. "Some things never change" sabi nga sa Milo. But the fact is, most things change. In fact, almost all. And most of the time din, things have to change. Like how we should grow up. Not only physically but being mature in every sense. Sabi nga ng teacher namin sa School of Leaders, where there's no growth, decay starts.

Bakit ba napunta dun ang post ko? Ehehe.. sobrang naging defensive pagbabago eh no. Eh akala ko din naman kasi, I will not desire change din. Kaya ko naman naisipan na palitan ang template ko eh dahil parang masyado na syang bata para sa kin :D. I decided to get something like this para maiba naman. Ready made template na po ito, kaya wala akong make-claim na ginawa ko dito. Sa mga interesado, dito ko po nakuha ang template: http://blog-templates.ravasthi.name.

Hindi na muna ko gumawa ng template ko ngayon. Nag-decide akong kumuha ng ready-made para nga lang maiba naman ang nakikita ko. Pero syempre, gusto ko pa rin yung pinagpaguran ko. Hindi nga lang muna ako gumawa ngayon for a number of reasons:

Kulang ako sa resources.

wala akong image editor gaya ng Photoshop or Paintshop Pro.

wala na kong space sa hard disk ko (dahilan kung bakit wala akong ng nasa taas)

wala akong 17" monitor (hehe.. arte ko ba? :D)

Wala pa kong masyadong alam (dahil wala akong mapagpraktisan dahil wala ako nung mga nasa taas.

Wala pa akong time.

Kapag meron na ako ng lahat ng iyan (at feeling ko meron pa akong hindi nabanggit), mag-uumpisa na akong gumawa ng sariling akin. :) Ito na muna pansamantala.

P.S.
Kung may comment po kayo sa template ko (like hindi nyo mabasa yung ibang letters, or masakit sa mata ang kulay), click nyo lang po yung "bless me..." sa ibaba. ;) Ayokong nahihirapan ang aking mga mambabasa (naks!), kaya whatever makes you comfy, sige, gagawin ko hangga't kaya ko.

Bulaga!

2005-07-07T12:46:00.000+08:00

Aha! It's been quite a while since I blogged huh... actually, it's more like "loud" a while. (Haha! just trying to say the opposite.) What I exactly mean is it has been a long break.

Actually, I don't know if I'd really be back into blogging again. I've just had this urge to blog and the thoughts (which I always lack and my usual reason for not posting anything) to write, thanks to the links in my "Hang-Outs" section. It has also been quite a while since I haven't visited your pages and going back there has been worthwhile (kaya nga ako nakapag-blog ngayon, you inspired me guys!)

I am currently listening to a random list of songs, mostly OPM. Okay ang OPM ngayon, although mostly remake. But it's still good to the ears and like what our worship leader once said, "katunayan lang yan na magaganda talaga ang mga kanta noon kaya nire-revive". But while I am writing this paragraph, Get Me by M.Y.M.P. is what's playing in my winamp...

Okay. So what have I been doing during the break? Syempre madami nang lumipas. Sa haba ba naman ng pinahinga ko eh. But I'd probably be writing only those that I can still remember, and the latest happenings.

So I have been working on my quite time. And by God's grace and the help of some Christian friends, where most of the credit I'll give to my spiritual mother Ate Marose because she's the one who untiringly reminded me when my quite time time strikes, I have developed a habit of having this set aside time between me and God. I badly need that. I am not very good at it yet right now because I tend to miss a lot of my on time divine meetings yet but the good thing is, I never miss a day without having a word from Him. So far, so good. But still, more room for improvements.

My mother after 2 years and sister after 6 months arrived from abroad. My mother came from Korea and younger sister from Japan. But my mother just had a short stay here, just a week, and then she's back again to finish her contract. She still have a year to go. Sister on the other hand is staying a little longer because her contract has already ended, but she will be going back probably in a month or two. Of course we've had our day out as family and we went to Market Market to spend half of our day there, and some amount of money and then we transferred to Megamall after because there's not much of a good find at Market Market. Kumain lang ata kami dun eh. Father's day nga pala yun. May sale pero wala dun ang hinahanap namin.

I bought my long time wish because no one is bothering to give it to me as a gift kaya bumili na lang ako (hehe). I can't blame them cause it was quite expensive. I already got myself a pocket sized Bible for P1,349.75, which I get to carry all the time now, from National Bookstore and at last seeing a paperback edition, I bought Not Even a Hint by Joshua Harris. The Bible is the size of a wallet, of bonded leather cover, and Burgundy colored with gold linings. Okay sya, I like it naman.

I accidentally got myself a digicam, because somebody was selling it to my uncle for only P4000. He don't see a need for it so he offered it to my sister who just came from Japan, thinking she has all the money to buy it (galing nga naman kasi sa Japan, but that really doesn't mean she has a lot of money). But with me seeing how it can be mapagtityagaan na and since having a digicam has also been my long time wish, I just took it. Ito po yung cam:

Konica Dimage X20
Specifications:
2.0 megapixels (effective), 3x optical zoom/4x digital zoom, autofocus only, program exposure, JPEG file format, ISO range 64-400, 2 AA batteries, movie mode with sound.

Uhm, it's not much, but with the price? A camera like that is okay (for me, pwede na yan) so I got it na. Wala nga lang kasamang cable so I have to find a usb 1.1 cable for me to be able to transfer the photos from the cam to the pc. And take note: may kasama pa syang 128mb SD card. I bought all these in a month so I'm cash strapped after spending my money on these things. But I still think I've got a good buy for the digicam (tingin nyo?) and the money I spent with the books I bought I think is not something I should be disheartened of. But still, I ended up broke. Isama pa pala natin yung binayaran kong bill sa telepono at DSL namin. Hay naku...

Our computer is acting up reaaaalll slow already, and I guess it's already calling me up for an upgrade. I am currently writing this entry using our home pc and the slowness is so obvious na. And what does this mean? Of course, gastos na naman.

And finally, I was able to get a copy of the pictures one of our companion with a very nice camera (Taken with a Sony DSC-P32) took during our Puerto Galera trip. The pictures are really awesome and I can't help but share it to you guys! Especially those taken from the falls. Sooo soothing to the eyes and gives you this peaceful feeling. I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Hope you enjoyed the photos! God bless you all!

Break

2005-06-30T07:25:00.000+08:00

Sorry po... hindi pa kaya ng powers ko. Hope to be back soon.

God bless you all.

Quiet Time

2005-06-14T09:01:00.000+08:00

I am currently working on my quiet time right now. I miss my college days, where I guess I've had the healthiest quiet time ever since. I was thinking back then that I have the lousiest quiet time of all but if I'm going to compare myself before and now? I'd say that's the best that I've done. I'm ashamed, really. Because instead of improving as I get older, it just appeared I even got worse.

Well, I know it's not really the end of everything. There's always room for improvements. I should not let myself dwell in this guilty feeling, for I won't be able to do anything if I just kept on worrying about it. As of now, some people are helping me in establishing back my quiet time, through prayers & reminders.

Why'd I say that I did better when I was still in college? Well, I used to have a more constant appointment with God compared to now. Though I don't have fixed time for my appointment with God, which is encouraged... well actually I think it should be that way, so as to have discipline as well. But then due to the added responsibilities as you get older, like you finally get a job, help your parents support your daily living finances, other commitments, etc. etc., it came to a point where I did not have a quiet time at all.

What's a quiet time anyway? And what it has do with our life? I just chose this article I found on the internet about quiet time, because I'm not that good at words and I'm not in a mood right now to think more. It's only 5 minutes before we logout and we actually leave on the dot so I have to hurry this thing up or my colleagues will leave me behind.

https://www.pastors.com/article.asp?printerfriendly=1&ArtID=4101

Inside Saddleback: What's a quiet time?
by Todd Wendorff

Every relationship takes time to develop. You have to spend time with someone to take that relationship deeper. It's no different with our relationship with the Lord. Spend time with Him. There is just no other way.

That's why we encourage every believer to develop the habit of a daily time with God. As simply as I know how to put it, a quiet time is time alone with Lord. If we do not spend time cultivating that one-on-one relationship with Him, we will eventually feel spiritually disconnected from Him, out of touch, restless, dissatisfied and unfulfilled. After a while we will begin drifting away and no longer be influenced by His presence in our lives.

The fact is we all desire a closeness with God but often aren't experiencing it simply because we aren't spending time with Him. After a while we say to ourselves, "I'm the same old person I've always been." "I'm not changing." "My relationship with the Lord is stale and stagnant."

That's why each day we need to set aside time to spend with the Lord in Bible reading and prayer in order to deepen our knowledge and love for Him that will result in real life change.

When I find myself worrying, it's an indication that I am not spending time with the Lord.

When I find my mind wandering or my heart hardening to the things of God, it's again, an indication that I am not spending time with the Lord.

The primary goal as growing Christians is to become "conformed to His likeness" (Rom. 8:29). Another word for conformed is "transformation" which means "life change from the inside out." We can change a behavior or an attitude on the outside, but to change on the inside takes inner transformation. Whatever is going on in your heart will be mirrored by your actions. No one can fake it for long. To change the inside takes a deeper relationship with the Lord. What we also desire for is congruence. We don't want to live one way in public and another way in private. It takes time with the Lord to bring these two into more alignment and consistency.

Roman 12:1-2 reveals that the only way to be transformed is to read, study and reflect on the word of God. The two primary elements that are used to accomplish this are Bible reading and prayer. I have written the following guide to help motivate you and give you the tools you need to begin implementing a quiet time into your daily schedule.

One author says, "In practice we often find ourselves to be "thirsty" Christians: either because we are failing to drink or because God is stretching our capacity for Himself and we need to drink more deeply."

If you find yourself restless, dissatisfied, and unfulfilled, it's because you are not regularly drinking in God's word or you are not going deep enough in the well. So I encourage you to use this guide and begin to spend regular time with God and drink deeply.

"But whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life." John 4:14 (NASB-U)

"My soul waits in silence for God only; From Him is my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken." Ps 62:1-2 (NASU)

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God." Ps 42:1 (NIV)

"The one who looks steadily at God's perfect law…and makes that law his HABIT - not listening and then forgetting, but actively putting it into practice will be happy in all that he does." James 1:25 (Ph)

"But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night." Ps 1:2 (NIV)

(originally saw this from http://jimmy-read.blogspot.com/2004/11/whats-quiet-time.html)

...nuff said. I'm in a hurry now.

Puerto Galera Gimik Post (Sa Wakas!)

2005-06-08T05:01:00.000+08:00

I am starting to get really lazy and lose interest in blogging, but I guess it's just for now. Nga lang I don't feel good leaving my blog friends hanging and waiting for my next update. I really am so sorry my friendly friends if I haven't updated this blog for quite a while. I've been busy thingking and doing a lot, and planning what I would do but the fact is I haven't done anything I planned. Feeling ko, ang gulo gulo ng utak ko ngayon. Di ko mawari kung anong nangyayari, but I just feel like eveything is not in it's place, or pinagugulo ko lang ang sarili ko. I can't really describe my state of mind right now, pero magulo lang talaga. Haay...

But since I promised I'm going to show you some of our captured moments in the Island of Mindoro, eto na po ang mga pics as promised. Pasensya na po talaga sa delay dahil hiningi ko pa ang mga yan. Ang hirap talaga ng walang digicam.

So here's what we practically did during our vacation in Puerto Galera.

We left Manila at around 5am in the morning and had our 2 or 3 hours travel time ata yun to Batangas Pier. I am actually already used to going there since our province is in Mindoro, but not to go to Puerto Galera. Our family usually rides the RORO to get there, but there are separate smaller boats that will take people to Puerto Galera.

So we boarded on this boat to get there. It was my first time to ride a boat from Batangas to Mindoro and find it a lot more fun since I get a closer look at the water. It was like 45 mins to an hour travel time from the pier of Batangas to the shores of Puerto Galera. Inantok ako ng onti habang nasa laot kami (or in the middle of the sea) but I didn't fall asleep. It was my first time din to go to Puerto so when we got closer to the shores, I can't help but admire the clearness of the water. I have been going to beaches since I was a kid and I've never seen anything clearer than the waters of Galera. Well that's because we can't afford to go to resorts kaya we only get to bath in some beach areas in Mindoro that are free. Kaya yun na ang pinakamalinaw na tubig na nakita ko among beaches. Napaisip nga ako eh, paanong malinaw ang tubig doon samantalang sa ibang beach, hindi mo makikita ang ilalim. Yun talaga kita mo ang tinatapakan mo, at ang dinadaanan ng bangka, lalo na kung di pa ganun kalalim.

So still amazed at what I saw, and mind you, I'm not really used to seeing people wearing clothes that only cover their private parts, or sa madaling salita, bikinis in person, I can't help but stare and wonder. Sensya na, lumaki kasi ako sa bundok . Saka ang mga tao dun kasi, walang kyeme. Kahit na nagsusumigaw na ang kanilang mga bilbil eh parang wala lang. Ikaw ang mahihiya kung maliligo ka nang hindi ka nakaganun. At lalakas ang loob mo maski na meron ka nang ready na salbabida around your hips or belly.

We then headed to our cottage. Ang ganda sana ng pwesto. Well actually, maganda naman talaga dahil overlooking sa buong shores ng resort na pinuntahan namin nga lang, since mga pagod kami galing sa byahe, we are all complaining dahil sobrang taas ng inakyat namin. Pero okay talaga sya, lalo na kung gusto mong mag-relax dahil malayo sa madlang people at sa maingay na night life. Tapos nga kita mo ang buong island.

Ito ang makikita mo mula sa cottage:

Oh diba! Ang taray!

So what we did the whole day after our arrival is to swim and eat. Ang ibang kasama namin, gumala, nagpa-henna (andaming naghe-henna dun), nagpa-corn rows (maliliit na tirintas lang yan na nakadikit sa anit), at ang iba nagbanana boat na.

At nang pahapon na syempre, palalampasin mo ba naman ang magandang sunset.

The next day, we all woke up early for our next activity: Island tour and Snorkeling.

On the boat during Island Tour

(Wala akong pics nung Snorkeling eh.. sayang)

Bumalik kami nung malapit nang mananghalian. Since hindi naman kami lahat kasya sa kusina para maghanda ng pagkain, ang iba sa min ay naligo ulet at ang mga hindi nakapag-banana boat kahapon (kasama ako dun) eh sa araw na 'to nag-banana boat.

Inaayos na namin ang aming mga sarili sa banana boat. Sa dulo ako pumuwesto dahil kawawa daw ako pag nasa gitna, madadaganan ako. Ang liit ko pa naman. eh yun pala, masmadali kang mahuhulog dun, dahil lahat ng alon galing sa unahan, sayo hahampas.

Ayan na nga po't hinila na kami.

Scary mag-banana boat, pero masaya . Hinihila sya ng speedboat at pilit ilaglag ang mga nakasakay. Masarap kapag may alon, yung tipong tumatalbog kayo, pero hindi masarap kapag hinuhulog ka . Medyo risky kasi malaki ang chances na magkaroon ng injury. Kaya kahit na madali ako tumilapon sa dulo, at least wala naman akong nasasaktan, or hindi ako masasaktan. Pero hindi rin naman masaya kapag nahuhulog ka, kasi masmasaya kapag nakasakay syempre. Dagdag pa yung sobrang exhausting at nakaka-drain naman talaga kapag babalik at sasampa ka na sa banana boat. Madulas kasi, tapos galing ka sa tubig. Try nyo minsan para ma-experience nyo .

Pagtapos ng tanghalian, alis na kami ng Puerto Galera at pumunta naman kami sa Falls. Pero hindi naman kami ng araw din na yun naligo. Ang lagay eh, lagi na lang kaming basa. Tumambay muna kami sa bahay ng isang ka-church namin na taga-Mindoro din and on our way to their place, nadaanan namin ang isang masterpiece ng Lord. Ang Tamaraw Falls.

Tamaraw Falls. Ang ganda nyan lalo pag maganda ang camera. Pwede mo gawing wallpaper, lalo pag magandang anggulo nakuha mo. Phone ko lang kasi pinangkuha ko nyan kaya di ko makuha yung buong falls.

Picture taking lang ginawa namin sa Tamaraw Falls. Eh nadaanan lang naman namin yun saka nasa daanan talaga sya.

Tapos, kinabukasan, punta naman kami sa Baco, sa Lantuyan. Dun kami naligo.

Sa batis sa Lantuyan. Sobrang lamig ng tubig dito, prang may yelo. Brrrr!

Hindi ako sumabay sa mga kasama ko, na umuwi din ng araw na yun. Nagdecide kasi akong mag-stay pa para madalaw ko naman ang mga kamag-anak ko. Minsan na lang kasi akong makapunta dun eh. Syempre, may trabaho.

Yun lang. (Yung lang pero ang haba eh no ).

Di Pa Maka-Update

2005-06-01T02:39:00.000+08:00

Nung Friday pa ko nakabalik from my vacation in Mindoro pero sa pagod, ang ginawa ko lang nun eh mag-check ng new messages at mag-bloghop. Tapos yung mga following day, busy din dahil may mga naka-pending akong trabaho pagdating ko.

Sa ngayon, wala pa ko mai-post tungkol dun sa aming bakasyon dahil wala pa kong pictures. Hindi ko kasi madala ang phone ko nun (yun lang ang cam na dala ko kasi) kasi mababasa. Saka baka mawala lang, tapos lagi pa kaming nakabilad sa araw, baka masira sya sa sobrang init. Na-nognog nga ako eh. Sino ba namang di iitim? Sarap kaya maligo sa malinaw na tubig ng Puerto Galera.

Bumili din ako ng hamster for pet. Naaliw kasi ko dun sa alaga ng pinsan ko na bigay pala sa kanya ng manliligaw nya kaya hindi ko tuloy mahingi. Bumili ako ng pares para pwede padamihin . Anlalakas na kumain. Kakatuwa sila. Ang cute! Parang mga stuffed toy . Post din ako pics para makita nyo. Wala pa ko nabibiling kulungan eh, sobrang naubos pera ko nung nag-Galera kami. Kaya ngayon, sa makeshift na bahay sila nakatira, sa kahon ng sapatos . Ayos naman sila dun.

To follow na lang po yung pics.

Whaddup

2005-05-21T05:02:00.000+08:00

I haven't found much time to blog because I am currently hooked in an online puzzle game in yahoo. hindi ko na napapansin na uuwi na pala ko at hindi ako inaantok. Ngalang, kakalaro ko nun, tinatamad na ko gumawa ng ibang bagay. I'm playing Inspector Parker's Betrapped. Sa kagustuhan kong makita yung itsura ng ibang boards sa pagtaas ng level, ayaw ko na syang tigilan. So I end up doing nothing other than that. Ni hindi ko na nga nabasa yung Digital Fortress which I am supposed to read after Angels and Demons. So ngayon, napag-isip isip ko na mag-log naman dito sa blog ko. Mukhang medyo may katagalan na since nung last kong update.

Today's my last day at work. Ibig kong sabihin, rest day ko na mamaya. Hindi na ko mag-iisip mamaya pagtulog ko na may pasok pa ko bukas at kailangan kong gumising ng maaga. Pahinga. And what I am expecting more and excited about is naka-leave ako buong week this coming week! Woohoo! Saya! Baket? Eh kasi po, pupunta lang naman kami ng Puerto Galera. :D

Sa Oriental Mondoro ang province namin pero umabot na ko sa ganitong edad eh ngayon pa lang ako makakapunta dun. Kaya nga excited ako eh. At hindi lang yun, mamasyal pa kami sa mga falls sa iba't ibang place doon. Falls hopping ba. Wahoo! Ang saya talaga! Sana makakuha ako ng maraming pics :D. Para makita nyo din.

Monday ng 4am ang meeting namin. Hindi pa ko nakakapag-impake.

May God bless our trip na lang. :)

Pray

2005-05-11T06:22:00.000+08:00

I just want to share this inspirational quote forwarded to me by a sister in Christ through text.

Life can seem unbearable at times, but don't let it keep you down. Meditate on God's goodness, talk to Him, and know He hears you. When life knocks you to your knees, you're in a good position to pray.

If you have burdens today and you can't bear it anymore, take the opportunity of being knocked down to your knees to talk to God and tell Him you need Him. You may never know, but this is one of the most sweet sounding plea that will come from us: for the Lord to hear how much we need Him, just like how a father longs for his son's or daughter's requests.

Say at least a little prayer today, and let the Father know your needs. God loves you.

And don't forget to thank Him for the blessings! Have a blessed day.

Kaya Ayokong Mag-Taxi Eh

2005-05-06T08:11:00.000+08:00

Pang-alas 12 ng gabi ang pasok ko pero hindi naman mahirap ang sasakyan sa lugar namin, kahit anong oras meron nga eh. 24 hours ang mga pang-commute na sasakyan. Kaso kagabi, I was already running late kaya I hailed a taxi on my way to work kasi masmalaki ata ang mawawala sa kin kapag na-late ako, bawas pa sa schedule adherence rating ko yun.

Hindi ko talaga ugaling sumakay ng taxi dahil bukod sa mahal, sa dami pa ng naririnig kong balita na holdapan sa taxi at kung ano ano pang hindi maganda eh napa-paranoid na kong sumakay. Kaya lang naman ako nagta-taxi eh kapag no choice na ako at kailangang kailangan ko na. Lalo pa naman sa oras ng trabaho ko, masgugustuhin kong sumakay sa pampublikong sasakyan kung saan marami akong kasama kesa mag-isa akong nasa loob ng taxi cab. At dahil ayokong ma-late, eh di pumara na ko ng taxi. Ang unang dumaan na taxi eh yung Wallis. Eh andami kong narinig sa taxi na yun na kesyo sobrang maningil daw ang mga driver nun at ang iba daw eh nanghoholdap pa. Ewan ko lang kung totoo pero may nag-circulate na email na tungkol dun galing sa isang naging pasahero daw nila. At hindi lang daw nya isang beses na-experience yun, at hindi lang daw sya kaya naisipan nyang mag-send ng warning. So sa madaling salita, hindi ko yun pinara.

Yung sumunod na taxi na hindi ko na matandaan ang pangalan dahil hindi naman masyado kilala saka hindi company owned o kung ano pang tawag dun (hindi ko kasi alam eh), pinara ko na. Pagsakay ko syempre sinabi ko sa driver kung saan ako bababa, "manong Ayala po. Sa may Paseo." Tinanong nya kung saan daw kami dadaan dahil may sunog daw ng mga oras na yun sa may Malibay at masyado daw matrapik kaya hindi daw magandang dumaan dun. Eh di sabi ko sa Buendia na lang dumaan, sa Gil Puyat Ave. Yun lang pati ang alam kong daan bukod sa Edsa. Nagcomment pa si manong na malayo daw dun eh di tanong ako kung may alam pa siya ibang daan. Sabi nya wala. Di sabi ko dun na lang. Sa Roxas Blvd. kami dumaan.

Manong Driver: Lagi ka bang nagta-taxi kapag ganitong oras? Gusto mo abangan na lang kita sa inyo gabi gabi.
Ako: Ay hindi po. Commute po ako lagi. Kaya lang naman ako nag-taxi ngayon eh dahil po late na ko.

Manong Driver: Ah, ganun ba. Kala ko nagtataxi ka lagi eh, aabangan na lang sana kita gabi gabi.
Ako: Ah ganun po ba. Hindi naman po kasi talaga ko nagtataxi eh.

Manong Driver: Talagang ganitong oras ka bumibyahe?
Ako: May pasok po kasi ako.

Manong Driver: Ah ganun ba. Trabaho talaga no. Mabuti ka nga may pinapasukan eh.
Ako: Ganun po talaga. (Hindi ako masyadong magandang kausap pag male-late na ko. Sa relo kasi ako naka-focus)

Hindi ko balak i-share sa manong ang trabaho ko. At sa katunayaan, karamihan ng oras ng byahe, hindi ako nagsasalita. Itong si manong, kung ano ano lang sinasabi. Tumatango lang ako, or ngumingiti. Hindi kasi ako sanay makipag-usap sa stranger. Saka, hindi naman sa nagiging judgemental ako sa itsura ng tao, pero hindi masyadong maganda ang pakiramdam ko sa manong. Ang itsura nya ay mukhang nasa mga mid-30s at mukha syang mamang manginginom, yung pangangatawan nya. Medyo mataba na malaking mama. Basta ganun.

Para naman hindi isipin ng manong na suplada ako at saka dahil nga nase-sense ko na pwedeng gumawa ng hindi maganda ang manong, ako naman ang nakipag-usap. Saka tahimik na kami eh. Nung nasa kahabaan na kami ng Gil Puyat, bago ata dumating ng Mayapis yun, ganito ang naging conversation namin.

Ako: Ganitong oras po ba talaga kayo nagbibiyahe?
Manong Driver: Oo.

Ako: Bakit po?
Manong Driver: Eh kasi malamig. Kapag umaga kasi sobrang init. Saka walang trapik.

Ako: (idadagdag ko na sana ang "hindi po ba delikado?" kaso, may dinugsong pa sya..)
Manong Driver: Saka sa gabi, may holdaper. (mischievous grin)

Tahimik. Tumahimik ako. Nakatingin lang ako sa harap ng sasakyan.

Manong Driver: Madami kasing holdaper pagka gabi.

Tiningnan ko ang manong driver habang nakangiti ako pero actually, may feeling of uneasiness na ko inside. At bakit kaya kailangan pa nyang ulitin yung sinabi nya?

Ako: Madami pong holdaper?
Manong Driver: Oo. (Tinitingnan nya ko tapos nakangiti sya. At yung ngiti nya parang may ibig sabihin)

Ayokong mag-isip ng masama dahil sabi nila, ang negative thoughts ay nakaka-attract din ng negative. So iniisip ko, nagpapatawa lang sya. At dapat, sakyan ko yung joke nya. Madami nang naglalaro sa isip ko nun, pero inaalis ko. Naisip kong isagot eh, "Bakit manong? Nanghoholdap po ba kayo?" Kaso naisip ko, baka sumagot ng oo yung mama (nay kupu! scary!), eh hindi naman magandang biro yun diba, kaya nag-isip ako ng iba. Sa mga oras pa naman na ganun (mag-aalas-12 na) maraming ganun. So ito na lang ang sinagot ko:

Ako: Bakit po? Nagsasakay po ba kayo ng holdaper?
(Naisip ko, may iba ding gumagawa ng ganun, pero wala naman ako naiisip na isasagot nya dun)
Manong Driver:(tamang tawa) Hindi naman. Ayala tayo ano?
Ako: Opo.

Naisip ko, baka nafi-feel nung mama na baka bigla akong bumaba, eh nandun na kami sa may Pasong Tamo, eh may building din kami dun. Iniisip ko kung bababa ako. Siguro nasense nya yung iniisip kong gawin, siguro ni-remind nya ko kung saan ako bababa. So hindi na ko bumaba din. Bukod sa seconds lang ang meron ako para makapag-isip kung bababa ako dun sa may Export Bank, baka isipin ng manong sinasakyan ko ang parang pananakot nya. Or kung joke yun, hindi sya nakakatawa.

Nasa may kanto na kami ng Gil Puyat at Ayala sa may RCBC at naisip kong medyo madilim ang parteng yun. Andami talaga ng tumatakbo sa utak ko, kung ano ang pwedeng mangyari at kung ano ang gagawin ko. Lahat ay nangyayari lang within seconds. At nananalangin na ako. Hindi naman talaga ako natatakot eh dahil pati ayokong makita ng manong na natatakot ako. Eh mas vulnerable ang taong takot pagka ganun. Saka ang taong takot, nawawala sa composure. Kinakabahan. At kapag kinakabahan ka, mas prone sa mistakes. At hindi ka makakapag-isip ng maayos. Nagpe-pray ako dahil ang Lord ang pinaka-sure na pag-asa ko nun. I don't want to doubt dahil para ano pa't humingi ka ng tulong sa Lord kung hindi ka naman maniniwala na gagawin Nya yun, lalo pa sa mga gipit na sitwasyon. So far, hindi pa nagf-fail ang method na ito para sa kin. Mabait ang Lord. Kailangan mo lang maniwala. Have faith. Pinagp-pray ko na sana mali ang iniisip ko at alam kong He will take care of me, thinking of God's promises stated in the Bible. Never will I leave you nor forsake you. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me (Psalms 23:4). Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6,7). At pinagpe-pray ko na alam kong kailangan ng taong yon ang pera pero sana, wag syang gumawa ng masama para lang dun. To bless manong driver and to take care of me.

And thank God! Nothing bad happened!

Nandun na kami sa may tawiran sa may kung tawagin nila ay Herrera at sinabi ko sa manong na dun na lang ako ibaba. Pumatak ang metro ng P95 at binayaran ko ang manong ng P100 at hindi na ko humingi ng sukli, at nag-thank you ako sa manong. Pagbaba ko, parang umatake ang epekto ng kakainom ko ng kape. Slightly jittery ako sa nerbiyos. At thankful ako na walang nangyaring masama sa kin at nakarating ako ng maayos at hindi ako na-late.

Sinasabi ko na nga ba, kaya ayokong mag-taxi eh. Sa susunod, di na ko magpapa-late. Waaah!

Lord, thank you very much po talaga.

The Return of the Comeback

2005-04-26T08:11:00.000+08:00

I just decided to keep this layout until I learn how to use an image editor. No matter how I look at the vast choices of layout I see in the internet, I can't seem to find something that will suit my taste. No matter how lovely the image was for me, or the whole layout itself, I always find myself not contented with even a very small detail. I'm so OC when it comes to my blog.

I'm currently into reading suspense novels, particularly those authored by Dan Brown. I just finished reading Da Vinci Code, and I'm now into Angels and Demons. Baliktad nga eh. Nauna pala yung Angels and Demons kesa Da Vinci. But I don't think it makes the slightest difference because the books are good by itself, even without reading it's prequel. It's not really the story that got me hooked into it, but the series of events that can't get the anticipation out of you for the next chapters. Walang dating sa kin masyado yung ending but the exposition of some long kept secrets are very surprising. The Da Vinci Code revolves around religion, pagan and Christian alike, and the hidden symbols in Da Vinci's work. I might as well not tell you much about it cause it might take the suspense and thrill out of you. I just kind of didn't like the ending, but the way it was written was brilliant. And I think I've already told you that much. Sorry... just meant to give you an idea. If you like suspense, Dan Brown's were one of the great reads.

I've just started with Angels and Demons, and found a very interesting object at the very first chapter of the book.

What you see is an Ambigram, and I believe there's still more of this to be seen in the book. Very interesting how it was written indeed and you'll be astouned at its history. An ambigram is a word written in such a way that it is legible both rightside-up and upside-down. Ambigrams are an ancient artform and play heavily into the mysteries of Angels & Demons.

Well, that was just one of the things you'll find in Angels and Demons, not to mention the suspense and thrill you're about see in this brilliantly written book.

I guess that's it for now. I'm off to Puerto Galera, but that' s still far. We'll go there on the last week of May, and we'll go hiking after going to the beach. Woohoo! Excited na ko, grabe! I'll be with my church barkadas, the worship team or the church band. I just recently joined them as part of my ministry. Meanwhile, company outing's getting near, and I haven't decided yet if I'll go or not. Still have to check out my close friends here in the office if they're going. It'll be held in Luau, in Clearwater Country Club. I haven't been there and I actually never heard of the place but the pictures were beautiful, kaso halatang sobrang inet!!! Ang liwanag ng araw. Sa picture pa lang, parang feeling ko, masusunog na ko :D. Looks fun, but it still wouldn't be happy without my closest office friends.

It's nice to be back.

On Hiatus Until Next Update

2005-04-16T04:47:00.000+08:00

Will be on hiatus for I don't know how long... I just can't seem to find time to post and anything to post. I'm also planning to change my layout. Be back sooner or later.

Face Analysis

2005-04-13T09:17:00.000+08:00

Okay... So I've been gone for a long time. A lot of things have been happening, of which the highlight are the changes that happened to my job. I'm still not in the mood to tell about it, and had caused me to stop a lot of things that I've been doing before. I always find myself just staring blankly at space and is still overwhelmed with all the changes that happened.

Now I'm back, but I guess not for long because I'm planning to do a lot of things first, and I guess it wouldn't give me enough time to post at least a few lines in this blog so I am planning to be on hiatus again, but this time it's for real. I'm also planning to change my layout.

For the mean time, I'll just share the result I got when I tried this Face Analyzer which I originally found in Hanagirl's blog. I just tried it for fun and was amazed with the result. To go there, click here.

Race Analysis

Celebrity Match

I don't see any resemblance...

Archetype: I'm a BETA ACADEMIC

Personality Profile:
You are a long-term planner, diligent worker and avoid risk as much as possible. You are of above average intelligence and have the ability to focus on tasks that seem unimportant at present, but can lead to greater things in the foreseeable future. You are not keen to interact with others or make social connections. You would rather gain material wealth before putting yourself in a position to be judged. You are not confrontational unless someone directly opposes your intellectual beliefs. You are highly concerned with your social status. You are keen to avoid risks that could jeopardize your long-term plans. You take a calculated approach to life, working hard to control all aspects of it in order to not leave anything important to chance.

You tend to be a perfectionist and quite self-conscious. You sometimes wish you were less reserved and more like some others you see who are more bold and outspoken in social situations. But as much as you try to be like them, you cannot, because you care too much about the future to ever be comfortable taking risks in social situations.

Beta academic: Not as intelligent or ambitious as Alpha Academics,
but still focused on being materially successful.

Expected Occupations:
Lawyer, Doctor, Investment Analyst, Accountant, Architect, Engineer, Professor,
Researcher, Psychologist

That's all folks. Not really in the mood to blog. I'm sorry.

Bad Days

2005-04-09T15:04:00.000+08:00

Been through a lot of changes these past few days, specially at work. Actually, these all started during the Holy week, but I don't really want to blog anything bad since this blog has always been my refuge in times of trouble (well aside from talking to God about it and reading His word), this has been one of the things that always put a smile on my face whenever I see people greeting me, and I'm not really into blogging something bad. But it seems like everything had gone over the limit or my limitations, that I still get affected no matter how I ignore it or how optimistic I am.

I'm naturally an optimistic person. I prefer looking at the good side of things than the bad so as not ruin my day. But there are just things that can't be ignored or that no matter how optimistic you are, you still won't be able to remove the heaviness you'll feel after a bad situation. Sometimes I think I'm overdoing this optimistic thinking, that I am more becoming numb on problems rather than learning from them.

Well, I guess and I hope that only happens some times. Because ignoring the situation and going through it in a positive way is a totally different story. Ignoring something doesn't cure it. In fact it might get even worse. It's like drinking just to forget the pain and heaviness, but after the effect of the alcohol, the problem is still there. And worse, if you've soaked yourself too much in the spirit of alcohol, you'll even get more pain with it's after effect.

I remember reading something about accepting bad things and happenings in a positive way in the book Tuesdays with Morrie. In the story, Morrie was dying, but instead of dwelling upon the situation, he chose to make the most out if it. But of course, doing other things won't take the pain of dying caused by his illness. The pain that he won't be able to ignore, physically and emotionally. The grimacing pain that his illness gives and the pain of self pity because he has to be dependent to the people around him even on simple things. You know the kind of things that no matter how you look at the positive side will still remain and will have a negative effect on you because the positive side that we sometimes look at is a totally different side. It's not within the situation.

I guess responding to something bad positively will be more likely "to look at the positive part". Well, in some extremely bad situation where you don't have anything positive to look at or you can't see anything positive because the negative has already overshadowed everything and you can't see even a pinhole sized light of hope, being positive is letting the experience penetrate you. Because sometimes it doesn't leave us any choice but to accept whatever it is and wherever we are. What Morrie did in his miserable situation is he let the pain in, feel it while it's there, and then after that, he already forgets about it. He chose to go through the pain and cry in it. Then after that, he can already smile, because the pain has passed. You let the experience penetrate you fully, and that's how you are able to leave it.

What I've learned with Morrie is not to lose any hope, even if you don't see any. That's where faith comes to play. Faith that there will always be hope. That's more the essence of being optimistic. Never to lose hope. That in any situation, there's always a positive side. If you can't find the positive side, there might be a positive part. If there's no positive part, there'll always be positive in the next, like after the night, there'll always be dawn. As the saying goes, "habang may buhay, may pag-asa".

Haaay... Sana malampasan namin 'to lahat.

Lord God, please take charge.

Say What? (Guarding Our Tongue)

2005-04-03T21:31:00.000+08:00

This was and is my favorite topic until now. It's a topic in one of our cell group discussions. It talks about the waywardness of the tongue. In the Bible, it is compared to a fire, which is a very small thing at the start but can burn the whole forest to ashes.

"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing." - James 3:9,10

James pointed out the inconsistency of this action and what should be impossible for a God-fearing person to do. But in reality, we do it. We express our love for God and with the same mouth we tear another person down. As James said, "this should not be."

The tongue is such a small part of the body, but it's like having a stick of dynamite between our teeth. It has such an awesome and dangerous power. It has the capacity for great good or for great evil.

The book of Proverbs, also known as the book of wisdom, gives us specific insights and guidance concerning our speech patterns. Let me share you some of them.

Importance and Power of Words

"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." (12:18)

"A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold settings of silver." (25:11)

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (15:1)

"A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret." (11:13)

"The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts." (18:8)

Control Over Our Words

"A man of understanding hold his tongue." (11:12)

"A man of knowledge uses words with restraint..." (17:27)

"Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue." (17:28)

"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." (10:19)

The Bible doesn't really tell us to be timid and not to speak up if we have to or so we could be understood, but to have control with our words. We all know that people sometimes judge us by the words that come out of our mouths, and so does God too ("...men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned." - Matthew 12:36,37). Words that we speak strongly reflects our character. The words that a person uses reveal who that person really is.

Do you believe that words can affect a person's physical health? I do. As what is said in Proverbs 12:18 (stated above), the words of the wise, our parents, older people, or an understanding friend can bring healing to the soul. We feel relieved when we hear comforting words from a friend when we are down, and calm if someone understands you in times of confusion.

As comforting words and wise advise can bring peace and healing, so can curses and bad words bring anxiety and be very toxic and harmful to others. Do you remember a time when someone told you you're ugly? Or that you look so fat, you're such a dork, you're so jologs, and the likes? Simple things aight, but greatly affected the way you project yourself. You feel down, you feel unworthy, you spend more so you can buy clothes that go with your friend's taste, and you don't eat because you think you're too fat. And what's the result? You become stressed of thinking that you're ugly you lose confidence, you earn debts because you want to be "in", you get ulcer because you don't eat. And so your health is affected.

Words can also bring great benefit and encouragement to others. Remember a time when someone said just the right words to give you encouragement and perhaps even changed the course of your life? It might be from your parents, or from your favorite teacher, or even from some celebrity or famous person you really admire.

I know we are aware of the effects of the words we speak, but sometimes we need to be reminded of something from time to time so as to keep watch of whatever we do or say, or even think. Maybe it's now time to think and do something. (Actually, the time to reflect is all the time). What do I need to remove from my speech habits to make my words more helpful to good relationships with others and God? What is my action plan to accomplish that removal? And maybe I can start out with saying pleasing words to my friends too. Of course it has to be true. :)

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. - James 1:26

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. - Ephesians 4:29

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. - Colossians 4:5-6

Not only does watched words benefit us and the people around us, but it's also what the Lord tells us to do. May God bless us all.

Musical Me

2005-04-02T14:47:00.000+08:00

I've been a music lover since I was in my elementary days. My passion in music pushed me to learn to play any kind of musical instrument. I so much liked the sound of guitar when I was in high school (well actually until now) and also because it was the "in" thing, besides the fact that you look astig when you know how to play a guitar specially if you're a girl, that it was the first instrument I want to learn how to play.

Though I'd really like to be taught by a professional to play it, our lack of money held me back in doing so. But since I'm so desperate and determined to learn, I did a self study. It helped me to at least learn the basics, and some readings also helped. I also watched some friends and professional in TV play the guitar, and I always tell myself, "I want to learn how to do that." Most of the time I find myself disappointed because there are some moves (I don't really know how to call it) that I can't do. Time came that I got tired of it and so I stopped. Well actually, I still have the passion to play it until now, but I don't have the time. Besides, I'm not content with what I know. Feeling ko, napapag-iwanan na ko nang husto. Saka, andami dyan masmagaling pa sa kin, at masbata.

Then I tried drums, another astig looking talent that a girl can have. But like the guitar, hanggang basic lang ako. :D I was already working then, and studying at the same time. So I didn't had much time too. Saka, wala naman kaming drums sa bahay. Saka habang tumatagal, pahirap ng pahirap. It's the kind of instrument where every part of your body is moving in a different way, but should be in sync with all the others. Iba ang galaw ng mga kamay mo, iba ang palo ng kanan sa kaliwa. Pati mga paa mo, iba ang padyak ng kanang paa sa kaliwang paa. Pero cool sya tugtugin, grabe. Para kang sumasayaw. :)

Then came the time of flutes. Bamboo flutes. Syempre papahuli ba naman ako? I got myself one din, but not a bamboo. Everywhere I look in the campus kasi, I see one holding and blowing it. Uso pa nun ang mga love songs like It Might Be You. Yung mga panahong bumalik sa ere yung mga ganung love songs, o baka sa school lang namin yun. Anyway, I didn't want to look like I'm nakikiuso lang, though in some way I did kasi nga flute pa rin yun (I'd really want to learn how to play it saka that was the only time I noticed it kaya ko rin naisipan), so I did not get a bamboo flute. I want something that would last and different from everyone else so I got myself the plastic version. It's more known as a recorder in the musical world. Mine's a soprano. Matinis ang tunog. Actually, if you're going to compare its sound to the bamboo, the bamboo is more soothing to the ears. Pero yun pa rin ang kinuha ko saka, masmaganda itsura nya, at masmatibay.

Soprano Recorder. This is what I have.

Flute. This is what I want to have.

piccolo. Pwede rin ito.

Now, I'd like to give the metal flute a try. I still love the guitar, but considering the ease of carrying it around, flute is better. Besides, the flute has a more solemn sound and I love it. And not many people can play it. I think the price is one factor why not a lot of people choose the flute. The cheapest will cost you 7,000 pesos nowadays, pinakamababang klase na yun. I am also considering piccolo since they don't have much of a difference sound-wise. Saka, masmaiksi ang piccolo kesa flute kaya tingin ko masmadali tugtugin ang piccolo. I haven't checked the price though. But I really want it so, I'll be buying it one of these days whichever is cheaper, pag nagkapera :D.

Anyone who knows where I can get this at a lower price? I'd even dig a second hand, basta okay pa sya and maganda ang tunog and quality. :) If it's reasonably price, I might go for it, hangga't maa-afford ko.

Accomplished

2005-03-30T15:36:00.000+08:00

Wahoo! I'm so happy! I've made a layout that's 100% done by me! Natutuwa ko para sa sarili ko kasi meron na akong matatawag na "akin", sarili kong gawa, buong buo. Haha! Ang saya saya ko talaga! (OA ka na)

That's also the reason why I'm not posting anything these past few days. Subsob ako dito sa layout na ginagawa ko that I don't even feel the time passing. Ganun ako kapag may ginagawa. It's up now. The layout I made is for my officemate, arnold, panglalaki. Masculine na masculine ang dating, hehehe.

Simple lang ang layout na ginawa ko actually. I love simplicity. Though I could have put a lot of things here in my blog, I'm not putting anything. Siguro for a while, ite-testing ko, kaya lang, ayoko ng masyado matagal magload ang page ko kaya inaalis ko din. Masaya ako kapag nakakita ako ng maraming graphics, gumagalaw, tumutunog, but not in my blog. Wala lang. Masgusto ko lang talaga yung simple lang.

Sa ngayon, may mga nangyayaring hindi naman hindi maganda, pero siguro, masyado lang akong nabibigla sa dami ng changes, lalo na sa trabaho. Wala pa ko sa mood mag-post ng tungkol dun, pero kung gusto nyong magkaroon ng idea, may ilang officemates na ako na nagblog ng kanilang mga saloobin. Ang mga pangalan nila eh nasa links list ko lang. Pero one of these days, magsusulat din ako ng tungkol dun.

Hindi na lang muna ngayon. Masyado pa akong masaya para mag-blog ng nakakalungkot.

Untitled

2005-03-25T17:49:00.000+08:00

Thanks to all the first time visitors for dropping by my humble blog. Hope you enjoyed it here and I'd be glad to see you again!

Usually, I hop back to my visitor's blog when they leave a message in the tagboard. Kapag ginagawa ko yun, hindi lang ako nagkakaroon ng kaunting pagkakilala sa taong bumisita sa blog ko, kundi nakakakuha pa ako ng ideya kung ano pang pwedeng ilagay sa blog ko (pasensya na, naubusan na ata ako ng ingles. hahaha!). One of favorite blogs to visit is Hanagirl's where I find all sorts of blog things and it's like I always see something new everytime I blog hop to her's.

Ngayon naman, nag-hop ako sa blog ni abster at nakita ko ang kanyang blog na maganda. Siguro, maganda din yung may-ari. Hindi ko pa nakikita picture nya eh. Pero, ang galing nya, ang cool ng blog nya. Nakita ko dun na may mood sa bawat post nya. Naisip ko, parang masmaganda yun ah. Kaya eto, ginaya ko. :D Nilagyan ng kaunting paarte, ek-ek, at voila! Makikita nyo na ang mood ko kada post ko! Waharharhar! Abster, sana okay lang na kumuha ako ng idea sa blog mo ha? Thank you. :)

Wehehehe... para akong bata. Wag nyo na lang akong pansinin. Paminsan minsan lang naman to eh. :P

Wala lang akong magawa. Nuninuninuni...

More of Me

2005-03-23T18:50:00.000+08:00

Due to lack of anything sensible to blog or worthy of sharing, I just decided to take some quiz.

You Are 50% Left Brained, 50% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet.

The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

Hmmm... this is not the first left-or-right-brained quiz I have taken, and this is the second time I got the same result. I guess I'm really balance-brained. I've once read, I think in my first quiz, that having this trait does not make you better in any area. That you don't excel in anything. There will just come a time that you'll be good at math and logic, or be creative and artistic, but you won't have the best of any of the two. Well I guess all of them, be it left-brained, right-brained, or balanced, have their own advantages and disadvantages.

Your Brain is 66.67% Female, 33.33% Male

Your brain leans female
You think with your heart, not your head
Sweet and considerate, you are a giver
But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

And all along I thought my head goes over my heart? I was really kind of expecting I'm more male brained, or at least balanced. It's like they have tagged most or all of the heartless choices with the male specie thus when you choose what you think is right and just, you'll more likely to be female brained, and I don't think it's fair for guys. Uhm, it's just my opinion. I don't really know how this quiz was made so, I might be wrong.

I take quizzes to know more about myself. Though it's been said that nobody else knows the most about us but ourselves---well aside from God of course---there are still times that I can't figure out what I really am or who I really am. There even are times where some people don't really know their real selves. I guess they are those who are having identity crisis. And in these times that these quizzes come to play, at least to help us figure out ourselves, or to give us an idea of the person within us. But that doesn't mean they are always true. I still believe in what John Maxwell said in one of his books: You are what you think you are.

Well, I guess this one's at least worthy of sharing to you all (I mean to all who are interested). At least you have known a little about me. :)

Back into the blogging world!

2005-03-19T14:27:00.000+08:00

So... what kept me busy during my blog hiatus? Why did I go on hiatus in the first place?

Well actually, it all started with a so petty, nonsense reason. I just saw this hiatus image in Reich's blog and I found it cute. I then went to the site where Reich got it and saw others that are equally cute. I love animes, and so I wanted to post one of the images in my blog but I will have no use for it unless I use it for it's main purpose: going on hiatus. (Hehehe.. kitam? Babaw no?)

So even if I don't really feel like doing it, just to use that cute hiatus image of a sleeping fairy I went on hiatus. There are times I have a rush of ideas that I would love to blog during my hiatus but since I have announced that I'll be gone, I carried on with my word.

It has been favorable for me anyway, because there are times that I would really want to write or share something, but I just don't know how. I mean, I always have difficulties in finding the right words to say. Since not a few gets to read what I write in here, I try to be careful with my words as much as possible, so as not to convey a different meaning on what I really want to say. Also, I'm struggling with my english (really), so bear with me. I can easily spot a wrong grammar or know that a sentence can still be rephrased to sound better but I'm having difficulties constructing one. I can, but I feel not satisfied with the way I wrote it. I want to convey a certain emotion, a certain feeling but I just find myself groping for the words I want to use but can't seem to think of any. It always feels like it's at the tip of my tongue. And so I found it relaxing taking a break from the pressures of thinking what to blog about everyday. (hihihi :D)

Other reasons just followed. Another thing is, I found time to help my colleagues make their own blogs. It seems like I have created such a huge (overstatement) blogging epidemia that almost everybody in my shift is into blogging. And everyone of them asks me when they need help in HTML. Honestly, I don't know much about it and I just learned the thing through blogging, but they all (or most of them) think I am the master! I love helping them though :). Specially when they are really satisfied with the outcome.

And now that I'm back, I am hoping and wishing that I'd be able to write more sensible posts that at some point would at least be able to help those who get to read whatever is written in here.

Half Back

2005-03-14T20:31:00.000+08:00

To all who kept on coming here and took time to read my posts, thank you very much to all of you!

I really am so sorry for the long hiatus... I was really planning to come back this week but my blog layout seems to have some problems and I can't figure out what is it!

I'll be coming back soon... but not right now yet. Have to fix some "minor problems" first.

Again, thank you very much to all of you! Especially to ::russ::, Hanagirl, Tanda, Kimi, Aion, jim, Candilicious (miss you girl!), Lex from Se7eN, and Mai for taking time to comment and post in the tagboard even during my hiatus. :) I really appreciate it. You'll all be one of the reasons why I should think ten times before stopping to blog (if ever that happens :D).

To those who checked out if everything's okay, nothing to worry guys, I'm doin' good. :) And thanks for wishing me a good day/great weekend :).

To those I was not able to mention, your time and effort are also appreciated. :) I wish you all God's blessings. :)

Hehehe.. parang an-drama ata nun :P. Kidding aside, that came from the heart :).

God bless you all.

On Hiatus

2005-03-07T17:31:00.000+08:00

Will be back sooner or later... when I have already thought of something sensible to post. :). Can't think of any right now.

God bless.

My Tree Type

2005-03-06T17:08:00.000+08:00

Found this link in aisah's blog.

Click Me!

Tried it just for fun. Here's mine...

Personality Test based on your tree type. At PressAnyKey
Here are the results of your birthdate: June 02

Ash
Ambition

Uncommonly attractive
vivacious
impulsive
demanding
does not care for criticism
ambitious
intelligent
talented
likes to play with its fate
can be egoistic
very reliable and trust-worthy
faithful and prudent lover
sometimes brains rule over heart
but takes partnership very serious.

Uhm... some of them are true. Friendly friends, I'll leave to y'all the choosing which. ;)

And I'd love it if I see your feedback in the "comments" ;). Try it yourself na din.

Engrish

2005-03-02T20:15:00.000+08:00

I was browsing this site that lists pictures of sign with wrong english grammar and I find these pictures uhm... you decide. :D

gosh.. I'm threatened

ewan ko ba bakit ang hilig hilig nilang maglagay ng quotes, wala naman akong maintindihan... and sometimes, you'll find them in the most unlikely products and stuffs. :D

hehehe... ang ganda ng car

now who would like to wear something that says they are stupid

wow.. the movie cries

Always check the contents of ladies piles... baka may bulate

Recognition is mine!

From a Harley-Dabeson jacket!

maiksi ata dila neto

wow! hi tech

more at www.engrish.com

First Call Boo-boo

2005-02-26T20:43:00.000+08:00

I will never forget this...

First night of our live calls, and everyone of us is nervous. It's the wee hours of the morning in the Philippines and we're going to speak with people on the other side of the world, where it's broad daylight and the people are busy working.

So there I was, jittery while waiting for the phone to ring my first call, while my coach, a vet rep listened in.

Toot, toot!

Me: Thank you for calling, my name is Goldi, how may I help you?
Customer: Hi. Our T1 service contract is expiring in a week. I need to speak to an Account Representative for renewal.

Me: (Heart beating so fast, while looking at my coach who's telling me what I should say to the customer. "Tell her you'll forward her concern to the proper department and she shall receive a callback from their account rep.") Okay ma'am. I'm going to forward your concern to the proper department so that they can kill...

oh men! I didn't mean to say that! sobrang kabado na talaga ko! My coach was trying so hard to stop herself from laughing, but she can't! Realizing my mistake, I also can hardly prevent myself from laughing, but still I managed to speak since I was not done yet)

... oh, I'm sorry. I mean so they can give you a callback. Is there anything else I can help you with? (I think the reason why I said that is because I was trying so hard to sound American.)

Customer: When will I be expecting the call?
Me: You should receive a call within 24-48 hours.

Customer: Okay then. Thank you very much.
Me: Thank you for calling and have a nice day.

As soon as the caller hang-up, my coach bursted into laughter. While telling our supervisor what she heard from my call, teary-eyed from laughing, she ended her story with a comment, "Pumapatay pala ng customer 'tong si Goldi eh." And everyone in the floor is laughing out loud.

Oh well, it was my first time anyway. :)

Paano Ba Ako Napunta Sa Call Center? (2)

2005-02-26T08:59:00.000+08:00

Tinatapos ko nun ang project study ko. At dahil kailangan ko ng masmalaking pera panggastos sa project study, pambayad sa defense, sa research at sa pagpapa-bookbind, kinailangan kong maghanap ng trabaho.

Tingin sa classified ads, check sa jobstreet, tanong tanong sa mga classmate kong may alam kung saan may hiring --- yan ang gawa ko para lang makahanap ng mapagkakakitaan. Halos isang taon na din akong walang trabaho nun simula nung mag-resign ako sa dati kong trabaho. Tapos, eto na. Nag-boom ang call center business.

At dahil may experience na nga ko sa call center, sinubukan kong mag-apply. Nga lang, hindi ako ganun ka-confident dahil isang taon na rin ang nakakalipas nung makapgtrabaho ako sa call center. Pero sige pa rin. Try lang ng try.

So nagpasa ako ng resume. May naka-chat ako na nagtatrabaho sa pinapasukan ko ngayon at nagpa-refer ako sa kanya. Mga 2 weeks siguro ang nakalipas, tinawagan ako ng PeopleSupport.

Alas-11 ng umaga. Kakagising ko lang. Nagising ako dahil may tawag daw ako sa telepono. Pagsagot ko ng telepono:

Caller: Hello, is this Ms. Goldylynn Dimaala? (Aba! English! Bigla akong nagising)
Me: Yes sir. (Medyo kinakabahan na kasi mapapasabak ako sa inglisan. Syemps, kung job interview ito, kapag English ang tanong sayo, English din isasagot mo)

Caller: My name is Allan from PeopleSupport. This is regarding your application for technical eRep. Is it okay if I interview you right now about your application?
Me: Yes sir. (haha! Ang tipid ko sumagot, di ko alam sasabihin ko eh)

Caller: Okay, good. Before we start, are you comfortable in speaking in English?
Me: Yes sir. (Syempre, yes lang kahit hindi ko na malaman kung maiihi ako o majejebs sa kaba na baka ma-wrong grammar pa ko. Kaya nga ko hindi masyadong nagsasalita eh. hehehe)

Caller: Good. English would be the basic language we'll be using on the job so make sure you make yourself comfortable with it. So are you comfortable with the English language? (promise, tinanong nya ulit to)
Me: Yes sir. (wahaha! wala pa kong nasasabi kahit isang sentence :D. Close ended naman po kaya yung mga question nya no)

Caller: Okay. So tell me about yourself.
Me: I'm Goldylynn Dimaala, living at blah blah blah... (everything about me)

Caller: So what do you know about call centers?
Me: (Sorry, hindi ko na matandaan sinagot ko eh :D)

Caller: What do you know about PeopleSupport?
Me: (Sinabi ko kung anong kinuwento sa kin ng k-chat ko). My friend told me that it is a great workplace. That the management cares for their employees and blah, blah..

Caller: Why would you like to work in a call center?
Me: (Sinabi ko lang na nagustuhan ko yung trabaho ko dati.) I have worked in a call center before and I eventually liked the job. I love talking to people (naks! pa-impress daw), and helping them out in their concerns. Though we do sales at my previous job, there are times that I got to help the callers by answering even their simplest queries and I find it very fulfilling. (Ang iba dito eh tinuro sa kin ng ka-chat ko. hehehe. Saka, sell youself nga diba!)

Caller: Why do you think we should hire you? (Ang hirap ng tanong na to ha. Napaisip ako, how will I answer this without sounding conceited)
Me: (Sorry, hindi ko na rin alam ang sinagot ko dito. Isang taon na kaya yun!)

Caller: Okay. Please come tomorrow, 9am here for your exam. You know where our office is?
Me: No sir. (sa internet lang ako nag-apply. Hindi pa ko nakakapunta dun)

Caller: (Gives the address). Just tell them Allan interviewed you. Okay! Thanks and good luck on your exam. Have a nice day.
Me: Okay Allan. Thank you very much. (ganun lang. haay salamat, natapos din)

Hindi ko alam na yun pala ang first part ng screening, at nakapasa ako. Hindi ko pa namamalayan ang lahat dahil naalimpungatan pa nga lang ako kasi kakagising ko lang nun.

exam...

Syempre, maaga ako dun. Hinanap ko pa yung office kasi nga, hindi ko alam kung nasaan. Pagdating ko sa reception, wow! ang ganda ng office! Nag-inquire ako, "for exam po." Sinagot ako ng receptionist, in pure english. Hindi kasi ako yung type na ma-english, at hindi ako sanay ng english ang usapan kaya natatameme ako.

Umupo ako sa waiting area, medyo ako pa lang ang tao. Maya maya, nagdadatingan na yung ibang mag-eexam. Yung unang dumating, kinausap ako, english din. Sumagot ako, pero tagalog. Hindi talaga ako sanay. Yung iba pang nagdadatingan, ganun din. Nai-intimidate na ko kasi mga inglisero/inglisera na, posturang-postura pa. Quiet lang ako sa isang tabi. Hanggang sa tawagin na kami lahat for the exam.

Exam na. English ang una. Kung titingnan mo ang exam, mukhang madali, pero actually, tricky. Multiple choice, pero pag tiningnan mo ang choices, either halos lahat eh tama o kaya e, parang wala dun yung tamang sagot.

Time's up. Submit the papers. Umalis yung nagpa-exam, maya maya bumalik at nag-roll call. Tinawag yung karamihan ng mga kasabay kong inglisero't inglisera, hanggang sa 5 na lang kaming matira! Waaaah!!! Sabi ko, hindi ata ko pumasa! Pero hindi ko rin naman masyadong in-expect na papasa ako. Saka, tingin ko, mas-qualified sa kin yung mga kasabay kong spokening dollar kaya, okay na rin sa kin. Hindi pa ko umaalis dun, kasi hindi pa naman kami pinapaalis. Nagtinginan kami nung mga naiwan. Ang nasabi na lang namin, hindi ata tayo pumasa.

Maya maya, bumalik ulit yung nagpa-exam at nagsabi, "Okay guys, you passed the exam. We will proceed to the next, typing speed test". Whoa! Pumasa pala kami? Akala ko...

Oh well, ang nagawa ko na lang ang magdasal at magpasalamat. Actually nung kinukuha ko yung exam, hindi talaga ko nag-eexpect na papasa ako dun, but I was praying that if it's God's will for me to pass, mas-okay.

Nakapasa naman ako sa TST. Inabot kami ng lunch break. Pagkatapos nun, pinababalik ako after lunch for final interview. Hindi ko na nalaman kung sino ang mga natira, nagkahiwa-hiwalay na kasi kami.

Final Interview.

Okay, eto na. Dito na ko kinabahan. Wala akong naririnig na nagtatagalog dun sa office nila, so paniguradong pure english ito. Mapapsabak na naman ako sa inglisan. Dumating yung babae from HR at sinenyasan ako na pumunta dun sa conference room.

Sa Conference room. Dalawa silang andun. Yung isa, lalaki. Dalawa silang mag-iinterview sa kin. Shocks! Syempre, dumoble kaba ko.

Tanungan blues. Tinanong ako about myself ulit, lahat ng nakalagay sa resume ko, at iba pang bagay na madalas tinatanong sa interview. Hindi ko na rin po matandaan yung mga saktong tinanong, pasensya na. So far, I managed to answer all their questions naman without breathing a single tagalog word. Ay, meron pala... napa-"eh" ako. Expression ba. Nasabi ko tuloy, "patay, bagsak na ko neto".

Tapos ng interview, meron palang phone simulation. binigyan ako ng sitwasyon na nakasulat sa isang maliit na papel. Ang nakalagay lang dun na magiging dialog ko eh yung greeting at closing. Yung isasagot ko, ako nang bahala.

Nag-ring na ang phone. Kunyari customer. I picked it up and said the greeting. "Thank you for calling Wintergreen.com, this is Goldi, How may I help you?". May problema yung kunyaring amerikanong customer. Sinagot ko lang, pero "uhm" ako nang "uhm". Kinakabahan kaya ako no. Saka hindi ko na alam kung anong pinagsasabi ko. Basta, nag-ienglish na lang ako. Hehehe. Promise. Sa kaba ko, hindi ko na alam ang sinasabi ko. Ang natatandaan ko, yung customer pa ang nagsabi sa kin kung ano ang dapat kong gawin. Patay na.

Natapos ang call. Sabi ko, naku, this time I think I messed it up. Hindi na ako papasa nito. Sabi sa kin, tatawagan na lang daw ako kung pumasa ko o hindi.

5pm na nun at uwing uwi na ko. Maghapon ako dun sa office, at tlaga namang exhausted na ko. Pagdating ko sa bahay, hindi na ko nakapagbihis at plakda na kong nahiga sa kama. Nakatulog ako agad sa sobrang pagod.

Alas-7 ng gabi. Nag-ring ang phone. Nagising ako. Kapatid ko ang sumagot. PeopleSupport daw. Kinuha ko. Pag-hello ko..

Caller: Ms. Dimaala?
Me: Yes?

Caller: Congratulations! You got the job! Can you come here tomorrow for the job offer?
Me: (Ano daw? Hindi ko alam kung tama ang pagkarinig ko, pero medyo nasa ulirat pa naman ako para maintindihan na pinapapunta nya ko bukas) Okay sir, what time?

Caller: Please be here at 5pm.
Me: (Naisip ko, holiday pala bukas, pero sige lang.) Do I need to bring anything?

Caller: No, you don't have to. Just be here on time.
Me: Okay, I'll be there. Thank you very much.

Pagkababa ko ng phone, sabi ko sa sarili ko, "Ano yung job offer? Tama ba yung narinig ko? Ibig bang sabihin nun, nakapasa ko? May trabaho na ko?" Habang naglalakad ako paakyat sa kwarto namin para makapagpalit ng damit, napasigaw ako, "Yes! May trabaho na ko!". Sabi ng mga kapatid ko, "Ha? Ang bilis naman?"

Oo nga. Kinabukasan, nag-sign na ko ng contract. Tapos, the day after, Medical Exam. Pagsapit ng Lunes, pumapasok na ko sa bago kong trabaho. Sa isang US based call center.

Icevah?

Paano Ba Ako Napunta Sa Call Center?

2005-02-23T19:04:00.000+08:00

Okay. So I have been planning to write something about how I got into my present job since I read my batchmate's version of her own, and that was last week pa, pero ngayon lang ako nakapag-umpisa. Hindi ko kasi alam kung paano ko ikukuwento eh. ewan ko ba kung bakit napakalaking issue pa sa kin kung anong dialect ang gagamitin ko dito, kung english ba o tagalog. Oh well, now I have finally decided on what to use --- the dialect I am most comfortable with --- Taglish.

I never really imagined I will land in a job like this. My career in a call center did not start with the company I am in right now. It all started when I decided to get a job while finishing my engineering studies (which I ended up not finishing din because I got hired in in this company at the time we're doing our last requirement for graduation). We're in dire need of money before and I so much wanted to get a degree course so I looked for all the possible ways just for me to be able take the course I want. I am the eldest and so I need to be able to at least help my parents support my younger siblings (I still have 3 sisters and 2 brothers after me) with their studies the soonest possible time. I was a graduate of a 3-year diploma course in Electronics Technology and was only able to get a job after a year of being a bum (ang hirap talaga humanap ng trabaho pag fresh grad), I was only 19 years old then. I was never happy with finishing only a 3 year course, hindi talaga ako satisfied. So after I was able to save up a little money for me to be able to enroll for Engineering study, I resigned.

So, naikuwento ko muna ata ang buhay ko ah? Anyways, dun naman kasi yun nag-umpisa. So technically, i don't have a job when I started my engineering studies. Hindi naman ganun kalaki ang tution fee ko since I enrolled in a state university (Technological University of the Philippines), I was only paying around 300-500 per term. Take note ha, per term yan, hindi per unit. Ang mura noh? Anyways, kahit ganyan lang kababa ang tuition fee ko, syempre I have my daily spendings and the books and stuffs required for schooling so hindi enough ang very konti kong naipon from my first job. Saka isa pa, 6 months lang ako nagtrabaho dun and since the company is in Laguna (so provincial rate), hindi rin kalakihan ang kinikita ko. Below minimum pa nga eh. Time came that I asked for money to support my studies from my parents din. Syempre, ilan kaming nagka-college na nun tapos meron pa kaming high school at elementary so nahiya naman akong makipagsabayan.

Ang maganda, merong part sa school namin na naglalagay sila ng job postings. Pero hindi ako dun nakahanap ng trabaho. Hindi ko na matandaan kung saan talaga namin nakita yung job posting, pero merong malapit na call center sa school namin noon na nangangailangan ng telemarketers, at hindi pa boom ang call center business nun. I was really not interested dahil nga telemarketer. Allergic ata ako sa sales no! But then, trabaho pa rin yun. May pera pa rin. Saka wala naman mawawala kung magt-try so, go lang ako. I submitted my resume. Gone through the screening, and eventually got the job.

Pero dahil nga sales I never lasted that long with the company. So after I was "forced resign" there (di ko na ikkuwento, bagong story na naman yun), bum na naman ang lola nyo.

My quest for a job (kahit ano nga lang, basta may sweldo) started again. Graduating pa naman na ko nun at mas-lalong kailangan ko ng pera. Since I don't have time (and money) to walk around prospective job hunting places like Makati and anywhere nearby school, I made use of the internet to scout for a decent job. Sign up sa jobstreet, search sa google, tingin sa Manila Bulletin, email ng resume, basta I am making sure that something will happen to me when I go to a certain place before I decide to go out. Mamamasahe lang ako kapag iinterviewhin na ko and/or mag-eexam. Wala kasi akong pera nun at syempre, gusto ko pag nanghingi ako sa nanay o tatay ko, may mangyayari naman sa magagastos ko.

Dami ko rin inapply-an. Syempre ang sinubukan ko mostly ay yung in-line sa course ko. I applied to several Electronics company pero lagi kong hindi natatapos ang screening kasi, hindi ako nakakapasa. Kainis nga e. Sabi ko tuloy sa sarili ko, "mahina ka ba talaga o wala kang natutunan?". I don't want to be hard on myself naman kaya sabi ko na lang, I need to study more.

Itutuloy... (basta, nai-kwento ko na yung first call center experience ko)

Blogging Epidemia

2005-02-22T18:10:00.000+08:00

I don't know if I have anything to do with this, but two of my officemates are also now into blogging. I remember, I have influenced my first two victims (hehe), Candy and Zig to go blogging, and now, one of them is already addicted in designing her blog. Hindi ko naman sila talagang pinilit. Siguro masyado silang na-curious dahil I almost spend 12 hours at the office (nung wala pa kaming unlimited internet access sa bahay) kakukutingting lang sa blog ko. Masyado akong na-addict nun sa designing ng blog ko, that I won't stop until I achieve the look I want.

Ngayon, ang sumunod naman na nahawa ay sina Eliza and Lei. Si Eliza, sa pagkakatanda ko eh talagang niligawan kong mag-blog. Magaling kasing magsulat ang babaeng 'to. Gusto kong makita ang kanyang mga sinulat. Si Lei, hindi ko lang alam kung ako nga talaga ang naka-impluwensya sa kanya. But what's common with these people, they are all asking me for help in the blog layout. Okay lang naman sa kin. Nakakatulong naman ako kahit papano.

Natatandaan ko nun, ako ang nagtatanong kung paano mag-design. To the point na nakapang-libre pa ako ng Grande Mocha Frappe sa Starbucks, sows, hindi naman pala ganun kahirap! Kaya ko naman pala! Pero oks lang, dun naman ako nag-umpisa eh. Ngayon, medyo marunong na ko. :)

Mararami-rami na rin akong natulungan sa blog layout nila, you might want to check it out. Eliza, Lei, and Jo. Yung iba naman, I just helped them out on editing and adding some stuff on their blog, sina Candy at Arnold. I can't take all the credits though cause all I did was ask them to look for a design they like in some sites that offer free blog templates like blogskins.com, then they will just give me the code and I will do the editing for them. Minsan, mahirap din kasi syempre, hindi nila masyadong gusto yung design so there are some na papabago nila yung itsura. Magpapadagdag pa ng mga kung ano ano like tag-boards and other stuffs, so para sa kin, hindi rin ganun kadali. Pero oks lang sa kin kasi masarap naman yung feeling na nakakatulong ka, at the same time, natuto ako.

Yung kay Lei, medyo dumugo ata utak ko :D. Ang ginawa ko kasi, kinuha ko lang yung pics dun sa design na napili nya, hindi kasi ganun kaganda ang layout eh. Tapos, hindi ko na ide-detalye. basta mukhang simple lang yung layout. Madali lang naman eh, pero napa-isip din ako. Ah basta. :D

Wala lang, share ko lang.

The Wonders of Blog Hopping

2005-02-18T04:29:00.000+08:00

All I did for the past few days was blog hop. I so much want to write something in here but I just can't think of anything to write worthy of sharing. I guess I'm straining myself too much with this thing. I know blogging should be as natural as breathing, that I don't have to stress myself too much of thinking if the people reading this will like what they read. No matter how I think that blogging should be some kind of therapy for me, I still can't avoid being so cautious of what I write, always thinking if people will like it.

Blog hopping somehow helped me with that. I have spent most of the time I am online in reading several blogs right now, and I found it amusing, and some inspiring. May mga nakita akong nakakaaliw and informative at the same time, merong touching, merong napapa-wow na lang ako. Mixed emotions. But of course the best part is I learn something from every blog I read.

Sa dami ng napuntahan ko, hindi ko na matandaan kung ano ano ang mga iyon. Saka, wala naman akong intensyon na karirin yung blog hopping, like I'm going to ask for their links para madalaw ko nang madalas ang blog nila. At first, ganun ang ginagawa ko pero ngayon, sa dami na ng bloggers, sa tingin ko hindi ko na yun kailangang gawin. Matatandaan ko naman pati agad ang url ng isang site kung talagang balak ko siyang balikan ulit. Pero open pa rin ako sa link exchanges. It's nice to meet friends thru blog hoppin', but it's not really the reason why I blog hop. Wala lang.

Nakakatuwa kasing makabasa ng mga blog na nakaka-relate ka. Ako, natutuwa ako pag nakakabasa ako ng blog ng mga Christian, kapag nagkukwento ng tungkol sa kung paano nila hinaharap ang bawat problema o kahit anong bagay na hindi nila maintindihan sa buhay nila, at kung paanong sa kabila ng mga paghihirap na yon ay nakukuha pa rin nilang magpuri at magtiwala sa Diyos. Ang pagkakaroon nila ng pag-asang hindi nawawala, pag-asang nagpapalakas sa kanilang harapin ang kahit anong problema. Ang pananampalataya nila, at pagtitiwala. Galeng talaga.

Jesus Changed My Life

2005-02-16T06:31:00.000+08:00

I just find this cute...

[see image on top]

ganda... nilagay ko na sa template ko. :)

Where is the Love?

2005-02-16T01:53:00.000+08:00

Like a fist it slammed my chest and like a slap it turned my head to its direction. The impact traveled from the opposite side of EDSA to the interior of my car. I caught a glimpse of sparks and flame. The fire grew and licked the Ayala MRT terminal above it. Black smoke blotted the night, its billowing underside lit by the carnage. People quickly emptied the Baclaran-bound side of the highway. Further focus revealed the remains of a bus in flames, its back blown out and its roof a mere skeleton.

Two other buses, one to the flaming wreckage's left and another to its rear, lay still as shredded steel hulks. It was February 14 and Valentine's Day went up in flames.

I cursed the chaos of my backseat, groped for my camera, notebook and pen, and took some pictures. I called the news desk and reported what I could. When the traffic lights went green, I swung my car around the intersection of Ayala and Edsa, and pointed it toward the flames. News like this grabs you by the collar and pulls you in.

Chaos was not only the bits of steel littering the street, the flames being fought, and bodies being carted away; chaos was ragged breath, wild running and nervous hands. Already, SWAT police, arms and armor not a buckle out of place, began swarming the area. One officer barked an order to halt, pointed his submachine gun and ordered identification. He was doing his job. So was I. I waved what I thought was my press ID. Later I found I had taken out my driver's license instead. He ordered me to leave and quickly attended to securing the perimeter. Instead, I moved toward the bus. I had to stay within the zone before police perimeters and yellow tape could keep everyone out.

Fire trucks, ambulances and police cars arrived within minutes. A dead bus conductor lay at the foot of the wreckage. As firemen doused the flames and wet me as well, I took a shot of the corpse in front of the smoldering steel carcasses.

Then secondary explosions shook the ground. It was going to be a long night for all of us, I thought.

I had looked forward to enjoying Valentine's. The scene before me drained all my enthusiasm.

From The Manila Times
Times Reporter Runs Into
Valentine's Day Mayhem
By Rome Jorge, Life & Times Reporter
Full Story >>
============================

I'm still in a state of shock. After all that happened?

It was just yesterday when bombings in 3 different places happened within the same hour. I was shocked to hear the fresh news being broadcasted in the television while I am at the comfort of my home, enjoying my rest day. The bombing happened at a place I frequented, the Ayala mall/MRT. I work in Makati and that's the exact spot where I take my daily ride home. It was just now that I realized I was blessed I wasn't there when the attack happened. Thank God.

Well instead of worrying and panicking because of what happened, I just chose to still thank God that my loved ones and I were not at that place when it happened. I was disturbed but I know my worry wouldn't help in solving the problem. I just hope and pray that this gets resolved at the soonest possible time. God is not to blame for these kind of situations. I know He's totally in control of everything though at times we cannot understand why there should be fright & mourning over the innocent victims and why He allows this. It is at these times that we need to put our trust more in God. Worry changes nothing. Prayers can do miracles. Let's just be on our knees and pray to God to take care of everything, and to give us strength and to be tough and strong at these kind of situations.

My thoughts about love went away... but love never leaves my heart. It is actually love that has pushed me to pray even more. Love for my loved ones, that they may be safe wherever they are, and love for the terrorists.. yeah, you heard it right. Love that caused me to pray that they might feel love in their hearts. That God take away their bitterness and fury, hatred in their hearts, so that they too may experience the greatness of love. These people have families too, who love them and care for them, and who doesn't wish them to die.

Please join me in prayer for these people. God hears us, I know. But we must not forget, Thy will, will still be done. Just trust Him.

Love Thoughts

2005-02-12T07:38:00.000+08:00

It's the love month again! We're seeing hearts everywhere, red colors everywhere (or is it only because of the Chinese New Year? :D), and of course... lovers everywhere. :)

Anyway, my head is full of love thoughts too :), and I would like to take this opportunity to share some insights on love that I have learned, in a Christian perspective.

Here's one post I got in my Friendster Bulletin board, coming from my friend, Manel.

Seeking for True Love? Here's How...

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." I Corinthians 13:4-8a (NIV)

This verse describes the characteristics of true love. These qualities can certainly be found in the person of Jesus Christ, and they can be found in all truly loving relationships. The problem with trying to "find" love in our dating lives, is that too often we don't look for these characteristics. Rather we look at physical appearance, popularity, or wealth. These are not the qualities that God looks at and neither should we.

"But the LORD said to Samuel, '...The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.'" I Samuel 16:7b (NIV)

Love is best seen as devotion and action, not an emotion. Love is not exclusively based on how we feel. Certainly our emotions are involved, but they cannot be our only criteria for love. True devotion will always lead to action - true love.

"Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with ACTIONS and in truth." I John 3:18 (NIV)

Christ was devoted to us enough to give his own life for us (Romans 5:8), even when he didn't feel like it (Matthew 26:39).

SEX IS NOT LOVE!
Our culture has taught us that sex and love are one in the same. This is a lie. Sex is a beautiful God-given activity that is wonderful when practiced within the boundaries of a Biblical marriage. Sex is the completion of the binding of two people within Biblical marriage; it is a God-given gift.

PRE-MARITAL SEX
Because premarital sex is not love, it only leads to pain and disappointment for those who are seeking that love. The Bible says that when two people are married, they become one flesh (Ephesians 5:31). Sex is consummation of that union. When two people break off their relationship after having sex, it is like ripping apart flesh. This is why two teenagers will struggle so much and become so dependent on those they give their bodies to. In light of I Corinthians 13:4-8 (above), it is easy to see that premarital sex is not patient, it is not kind, it does not protect, it is self-seeking. It is not love!

IDENTIFYING TRUE LOVE
We can only identify true love and know when we have found it, based on the Word of God. When we match our relationships up to what the Bible says that love is -- and we are honestly prepared to make a life-long commitment to that person -- then we can say that we are truly "in love." The three keys to that statement are:

We have to...

look at the Word of God
be completely honest with ourselves
understand the level of commitment that comes with true love

Copyright 1997, Dawson McAllister Live!, All Rights Reserved - except as noted on attached "Usage and Copyright" page that grants ChristianAnswers.Net users generous rights for putting this page to work in their homes, personal witnessing, churches and schools.

RECOMMENDED RESOURCES:
I Kissed Dating Goodbye - VIDEO SERIES - Love. Purity. Trust.These are foundational elements of true love. But how do you define true love and where do you find it? Not where conventional wisdom tells us to look! Using humor, drama, on-the-street interviews, and sessions taped before a live audience, this three-tape set offers a God-honoring, inspiring, encouraging, convicting message.
===================

Need I say more? If you notice, these are not my own thoughts but I totally agree with them. I have read the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye and I have even before quoted on some of my posts some ideas that I got from this book. I definitely recommend the book for those people seeking for the meaning of love Jesus-wise.

I might be writing some of my own some time pero sa ngayon, ito na muna. :)

Happy Love month to y'all.

Coffee Addict?

2005-02-09T03:08:00.000+08:00

Nahihilig ata ko sa kape ngayon...

My Favorites (in no particular order):
Java Chip Frappuccino
Mocha Frappuccino
Double Chocolate Chip Frappuccino

Kailangan ko kasi eh.. kaso ang gastos naman nito. Ang mahal kaya sa Starbucks.

Sana lang wag ako ma-addict... butas ang bulsa ko nito panigurado. Waaah!!!

Flesh Sooo Weak

2005-02-07T11:55:00.000+08:00

Haaay... I was sooooo tired yesterday when I got home that I immediately dozed off as soon as my body touched the bed. I haven't even changed into my pambahay when I fell fast asleep but I am not really comfy sleeping without changing my clothes and so even if I'm already a little dizzy because of sleepiness, I still managed to change my clothes quickly then went off to bed.

Kapag Sunday kasi hindi na ko nasanay nang hindi ako lumalabas kasama ang mga berks ko dun. The fact that I haven't got any sleep yet coming off from my graveyard shift and then going straight to the church for sunday worship service, I abuse myself more when I still stay just to go on a gimik with the worship team kahit na alam kong 24 hours na kong walang tulog. Hay naku naman goldi, wala ka na ba talagang disiplina?

Yeah... and now I am suffering the consequences of that. I usually don't have any problem doing it every Sunday pero ngayon, parang bumigay na ang katawan ko. Feeling ko, nakipag-inuman ako kagabi! Grabe, ansakit ng ulo ko, parang may hang-over! Kaya ngayon goldi, madala ka na ha! hmmp!

Ganito ko madalas. Nakikipagtalo sa sarili ko. Kung bakit naman kasi ganito... it is once quoted in the Bible nga "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak (Matthew 26:41)". Eh why does the flesh have to be always or most of the time be against the spirit? Can't the two agree all the time? Are we really made like that?

Questions, questions...

Focus

2005-02-05T07:38:00.000+08:00

I just thought of reading Our Daily Bread while waiting for my shift to end (I'm at work while doing all these stuff, using up my idle time). I've said a while ago that I'm too lazy right now to post anything but having done blog hoppin' triggered me to blog about something worthy (at least I think it will be worthy).

What I am really trying to do is reflect on what I have read. I haven't had a neat or regular quite time and so having some time in my hands right now, I just thought of taking advantage of the situation to feed my soul. I know I should be doing better than this. I mean if I really do want to have a regular devotion, I should at least be able to squeeze it in my not so busy schedule. I don't know, but I'm just having a hard time doing this. I need discipline.

The topic is about Focus. Basically it talked about mind setting. As Jesus' followers, we are told to live in Christlikeness, and we aim to do what He wants us to do, and to avoid sin. Sometimes or most of the time, we find ourselves concentrating on the sins we want to avoid, rather than focusing on the positive actions Christ desires for us. I have also imagined how easy it is to spot a small speck on a white cloth.

Missionary pilot Bernie May writes, "One of the most difficult lessons to teach new pilots about is to keep their eyes on the good part of the strip rather than on the hazard. The natural tendency is to concentrate on the obstacle, the danger, the thing he is trying to avoid. But experience teaches us that a pilot who keeps his eye on the hazard will sooner or later hit it dead center."

Instead of concentrating on the sins/things we want to avoid, we are told to focus on the positive actions Christ desires for us, or generally on the good things (Colossians 3:1-11)

²Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
³For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

I sometimes find it hard to do this, because I am so focused on the things that I want to avoid that I end up doing it instead. The more often I think or aim on something I don't want to do, the more the situation gets into it and so I am sometimes tempted to do it. I just found out that the reason why I am having difficulty in getting away with my bad habits is because I am so focused on them. I should have been focusing on what I should be doing, and not on what I should not do so I end up having done nothing instead.

If we're just going to change our focus by looking at the glass as half-filled rather than half-empty (talk about being optimistic) we are most likely to end up doing what is right.

When Christ and His interests are the focus of our lives, the lure of the old life remains in the corner of our eye, while we aim to land squarely in the center of God's will.
- David McCasland

Those who fix their eyes on heaven will not be distracted by the things of earth. -ODB

Blog Hopped

2005-02-05T05:51:00.000+08:00

Did some blog hoppin' today. I stumbled upon several Christian bloggers. I found one owned by a kababayan, Live.Love.Laugh., and 2 from the other side of the world (US), Pressing On & Written For Him.

Just got interested on how they live their lives and their point of views, and also was inspired by the way they write about their Christian life and God.

I have also aimed for the same thing before, to share with others how God moves in my life by sharing my own testimony through this blog. But most of the time I find myself too lazy to write, or just plainly can't find the right words to write. I don't know.

I might be posting something bout it in a few days. I just don't know how soon.

Wag Nyo Basahin... walang kwenta

2005-02-05T01:42:00.000+08:00

I've been too lazy to blog these past few days.. kahit nga ngayon eh. I even feel lazy to blog hop. Pero sometimes, pag ala na talaga ko magawa I just click the links of my fellow bloggers, binabasa ko. :)

Gusto kong bumili ng bluetooth dongle so I can upload the pics I capture with my phone. Gusto ko naman kahit minsan eh may mai-post naman akong picture dito kahit paminsan minsan. Hindi naman kasi all the time sensible post ko eh (:P). Nakakaaliw din pati yung may makita kang image paminsan minsan, diba?

Balak ko, mamaya pag-uwi ko, punta ko megamall to buy. Nga lang, nag-aalangan ako kasi may pasok pa ko ng gabi. Haaay... tuloy pa kaya ko?

Hehehe.. napaka-walang kwenta nitong post ko. :P

kakatamad eh...

I Love Quizzes

2005-01-28T07:52:00.000+08:00

Took several quizzes today, and here's what I got:

What Kind of Soul Are You?

I'm completely down-to-earth!

Find your soul type at kelly.moranweb.com.

You are the most in touch with knowledge. It's the tree of life from which you tap the sap. You know what you want and you know how to reasonably get it.

Virtues: You respect people with plans. When someone has their head on their shoulders, you know that they can see straightforward and keep their eyes on the mark. When it comes to looking at the future, you take a logical approach: what's within your ability? A fortunate attribute that you have is the ability to set a goal for yourself, higher than maybe you feel possible, but still keep yourself within reasonable bounds. You take the time to appreciate those surrounding you and they do appreciate you in return. Decision-making comes naturally to you when you take the time to consider each option. People only come to talk to you when they are looking for a logical, reasonable solution.

Aspirations: You have an idea of what you can do with your life, but you push it up a notch. You need a profession that you can enjoy, so work towards it. You want to live near your friends and family while being as far away as possible. You also want to settle down while working in excitement and variation.

Quirks: You don't appreciate drama queens and they don't appreciate you. When they need help, they won't seek you out because of your ability to see through their overly dramatic predicaments. You have leeway for humor, and sometimes love to participate in it, but when it becomes irrational behavior, others can count you out. Loud noises are bothersome, except when they come from you or your friends.

Factors: Reach for the sky! Don't decide to do something because you're merely good at it, but choose something you might like to do, despite whether you're sure you can master it or not. Don't only save room for a few empathetic friends, but open up to everyone.

Future: When looking for a job, if you work in all of your talents (logic, decision-making, planning, and definitely humor), you'll find yourself happy. Come to a compromise for location; live nearby your friends and take periodic vacations or live farther away and take frequent return trips.

How Your Attitude Ranks

Your Attitude is Better than 70% of the Population

If you scored...

80-100: You've got a winner attitude. You're always optimistic and cheery. Your personality will get you far in life.

60-79: You have a good attitude. While a realist, you do see the positive side of most things. People love to be around you.

40 - 59: You have a positive attitude... somtimes. You prefer to see the world through clear glasses, not rose colored ones.

20 - 39: You have an average attitude. You take the good and bad in life as they come. Though sometimes you could use a little more good.

0-19: You have a negative attitude. You tend to see the dark side of every situation. Free ice cream? No thanks, it will just make you fat!

How's Your Attitude?

You Are 11 Years Old

11

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

WHAT??? I act like an 11 years old??? This is surprising! I might act like a kid sometimes but I don't think I'd be acting like as young as someone under 12! Do I?

Your Dominant Intelligence is Musical Intelligence

Every part of your life has a beat, and you're often tapping your fingers or toes. You enjoy sounds of all types, but you also find sound can distract you at the wrong time. You are probably a gifted musician of some sort - even if you haven't realized it. Also a music lover, you tend to appreciate artists of all kinds.

You would make a great musician, disc jockey, singer, or composer.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Your Element Is Water

A bit of a contradiction, you can seem both lighthearted and serious. That's because you're good at going with the flow - but you also are deep. Highly intuitive, you tune in to people's emotions and moods easily. You are able to tap into deep emotional connections and connect with others. You prefer a smooth, harmonious life - but you can navigate your way around waves. You have a knack for getting people to get along and making life a little more peaceful.

What's Your Element?

The Art of Letting Go

2005-01-26T03:33:00.000+08:00

While reading this part of Elisabeth Elliot's Passion & Purity book, I was amazed at how exactly Beth was able to describe the process of letting go in this example.

The growth of all living green things wonderfully represents the process of receiving and handing over, gaining and losing, living and dying. The seed falls into the ground, dies as the new shoot springs up. There must be a splitting and a breaking in order for a bud to form. The bud "lets go" when the flower forms. The calyx lets go of the flower. The petals must curl up and die in order for the fruit to form. The fruit falls, splits, relinquishes the seed. The seed falls into ground...

There is no ongoing spiritual life without this process of letting go. At the precise point where we refuse, growth stops. If we hold tightly to anything given to us, unwilling to let it go when the time comes to let it go, or unwilling to allow it to be used as the Giver means it to be used, we stunt the growth of the soul.

This doesn't only apply to letting go of someone we have dearly loved, but applies to everything that we have been afraid of giving up. I have always wondered why we have to come to a point where we have to give up something that we have been comfortable of having. Now, seeing Beth's example in her book made me understand why. Most of the time, we become bitter to God when He takes something from us, the fact that everything in this world, including ourselves were owned by Him. Most of the time I find people questioning God very hard why He would take something when we have already found our happiness and comfort in that thing, while they will see the answer if they just looked around. Observing just how nature behaves (in the case of a flower) will give them the answer.

I've come to realize then that hard feelings are part of the process of letting go. We cry, we yearn, we regret, and we blame.But these are all part of preparing us to receive something better. As the saying goes, "Gold is purifed by fire".

We can't avoid going through the hardships of letting go, but this should not be a reason for us to stop at our tracks. Maybe we might put it this way: "I might have lost something that has become very important to me, but I know God is preparing something better, and so I should not worry about it. I should instead be thankful that I've had some time to experience the happiness that that thing had given me".

The end of the chapter goes like this:

The more you perceive God's purpose in your life, the less terrible will the losses seem. The seed does not "know" what will happen. It only knows what is happening---the falling, the darkness, the dying. We were being asked to trust, to leave the planning to God. God's ultimate plan was as far beyong our imaginings, as the oak tree is far from the acorn's imaginings.

God's answer to everything we don't understand is simple: TRUST ME.

Back Into Being a Familiar

2005-01-22T02:43:00.000+08:00

This is my 4th day in graveyard shift. Panggabi na naman ako.. kakainis talaga. Balik na naman sa pagiging bampira (gising kasi pag gabi. sa umaga, tulog), or "familiar" as how Blade calls them. Inaantok nga ko palagi eh. Hindi naman ako makatulog dahil the Team Manager is always roaming. Tapos, pag-uwi ko naman sa bahay, hirap din ako matulog dahil yung oras ng tulog ko eh gising lahat ng tao. Hay naku. Ganun talaga.

I have been quite busy this week din. Parang almost everyday may naka-schedule akong gawin, not to mention the things I always choose to do later. My procrastination worsens. I have to do something about this before this turns into a hard habit to break, or a hard to break habit. Whatever.

Nag-inquire kasi ko ng computer short courses. First, I went to Informatics Ayala MRT branch, kaya lang hesitant ako dun kasi parang feeling ko, they won't be able to provide me what I need. Parang feeling ko hindi ako matututo dun eh. Then I went to Informatics the next day, this time dun naman sa branch nila sa Security Land building, just a few minutes walk from our building. Saka, masmukhang okay dun. So I got a list of their course offerings with the price in it. After that, dumaan ako ng Makati Medical Center para magpa-check up kasi hanggang ngayon, nasal pa rin ang voice ko, parang may sipon. Kaso, masyadong late na available yung doctor so I just decided to go there on my rest day.

Then next day, sa Mapua IT Center naman ako pumunta para mag-inquire. Dito lang din sya sa Makati. Their fees are a little higher compared to Informatics', pero tingin ko mas-ok sa Mapua. Sana nga lang, maka-generate ako ng enough money to finance myself. Ang mahal eh. Eh mahirap lang naman kami. Baka may pwedeng mag-sponsor dyan, willing akong maging scholar nyo. :P

Ngayon, walang masyadong calls. Madami kami masyado. Mas petiks ngayon ang graveyard shift kasi, meron akong additional skill for an account that is not directly under our team, na nag-uumpisang bumuhos ang calls around 4am hanggang 10am or 11am ata yun. At wala ka pang tigil kakasalita. Sobrang sakit nga ng lalamunan ko nung pang-umaga pa ko eh, kasi yung sa shift ko dati pumapasok lahat ng calls na yun. Kaya kahit papano, okay na rin ako sa panggabi. Medyo nakaka-relax relax. :)

Tapos nga pala, kilala nyo ba si Mikel Campos? Grabe, wala akong kamalay malay na palagi kong nakakausap ang kanyang kaisa isang kapatid! Eh ka-team ko pala ang kanyang nag-iisang kapatid, at seatmate ko pa! Tingnan mo nga naman oh... nagulat talaga ko nun. Eh andami kayang nagkaka-crush dun sa utol nya. I don't know, he might not be that famous, pero hindi maiiwasang tumatak ang kanyang face sa isipan ng mga girls, dahil heart throb ang guy na ito.

Hindi kasi halata eh (his brother). Napaka-humble kasi ng utol nya. Koboy. Ayos nga eh.

Hahaha! laughs

2005-01-17T17:15:00.000+08:00

I found this forwarded email message so funny. :)

Let me share this with y'all. ;)

For the girls: Here are some tips on how to turn "bolero" guys down..

HE: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice!!!

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?

HE: Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.

hehehe... :P

A Good Day Indeed

2005-01-17T13:38:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a great day. Not only that it's the Lord's day again and I get to worship Him together with my family in Christ, but also that I enjoyed their company and I had fun with them throughout the day. And also, yesterday opened me to an opportunity to have a ministry that I'll enjoy doing at the same time.

My day actually started by having a hard time deciding on where and what church will I go to. Then I decided to attend the service at Baclaran Church of Christ instead. It just went on like the normal, routinary Sunday and nothing extraordinary happened on the first half of my day. Then after the service, I went to Christ Church International in Casimiro because I felt like my sunday is not complete without spending at least a little part of it with my friends there. Then when I got there, I was surprised when Frani introduced me with one of the IT people of CCI, Kuya Ping. Frani knows very well that I love techie stuff and that I so longed to be or to have an IT related work but I lack the educational background to be in that field. I just thought that that was what Frani told Kuya Ping. It appears that they are currently needing manpower in their IT department, and they need someone to help them design the webpage of CCI. Kuya Ping inteviewed me then and asked me what programming languages I know. To my disappointment, I don't know any of what he mentioned, even the most basic. But I told him it's my passion and that I'm willing to learn. I even told him that I once planned to have a crash course on that, that I once planned to study PERL programming. He told me that what they need right now is one who knows database management software, particularly SQL, or at least the most common and basic, MS Access. And also, he asked me if I know how to make animations using Macromedia Flash. I'm familiar with the thing but I really don't know how to use it, but I also REALLY want to learn. Well, I'm not yet sure if they're already welcoming me in their IT department, but what I know is, they are willing to train anyone who's also willing to use it for ministry. I already saw it as an opportunity because not only will I be learning new stuff, but also I'd be able to use it for God. And I'm very willing to be trained. And I'm very excited.

After all of the stuff they do after their service like classes in School of Leadership and Pre-Encounter for those who'd be joining the Encounter with God retreat this week, Frani, Mac, and I decided to go out and watch a movie. We then went to SM Southmall to watch Meet the Fockers but to our disappointment, it's not yet showing in theaters. So we went to watch Kung Fu Hustle instead and we're satisfied. I was so amazed with the Kung Fu moves of those peeps, and how humble those Kung Fu masters stayed even they possess such great power. There I heard again the saying "with great power comes great responsibility". It was said at the part of the movie where the Kung Fu masters were retelling their story and how they lost their son at a battle, and so they swore that they won't fight and use their powers anymore, and to live like just ordinary people instead. But time came that their community was attacked by gangsters that were so determined to kill people whenever they wished, thus forcing them to unleash again their Kung Fu skills to save their people. I was really astonished with their moves, how they can defend themselves without using any weapon but their Kung Fu skills. Again, it made me wish I know Kung Fu too, at least a little. :) But then again, if you know much and if you have much, then much also will be demanded from you.

I just love to watch those kind of movies. :)

I Want Something...

2005-01-15T07:16:00.000+08:00

Just Watched the Blade Trinity last night. And seeing the female vampire slayer there Abby, I came to know that...

I WANT AN IPOD!!!!!! A MINI IPOD!!!!

Will there be someone who'd be able to give me a gift like that? Hmmmm.... Wish ko lang...

On Romantic Relationships

2005-01-10T20:23:00.000+08:00

Had some serious talk with a former "special friend". This former "special friend" of mine wants everything to be like how we had it before. I really don't totally disagree with that, but I have made a decision right now to wait. Waiting in a sense that we could still have ample amount of time to get to know each other more and ourselves, and arrive to a conclusion that we really are serious about what's going on between the two of us, and how sure we are of what we feel for each other.

I like the way he responded to that. From how I saw it, he understood what I feel and he's willing to make space for it. I know I wasn't able to explain him very well what I really want to happen and why I want it, so I'm still having doubts if he really understood me. But if he told me he understand, I'd rather believe him. I'm giving him my trust, trust that what he told me is true. In the same way, I was grateful that he have given me his trust by understanding what and how I feel, even it may seem ambiguous to him.

It will take me a lot of space in this blog again before I could make a recount about it and explain everything, but having a talk with him made me recall what I have read in the books I bought about how to handle dating or courtship, and learning to put your love life under Christ's control which are the "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris and "Passion and Purity" by Elisabeth Elliot. I would like to have my own words or expression about the topic, but seems at the time of this writing I can't think of how I'd write it here. So I will just put several lines in those books that made me think through deciding to be with him again, or to wait in God's time and allow ourselves to think over it.

from I Kissed Dating Goodbye

If we truly trust in Jesus Christ, we die to our old way of living. And we can no longer live for ourselves---we now live for God and for the good of others.
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4.
Relationship with the opposite sex is not about "having a good time" or "learning what I want in a relationship". It's not about getting, but giving. Every relationship for a Christian is an opportunity to love another person like God has loved us. To want the person's purity and holiness because it pleases God and protects him or her. Christ taught that love is not for the fulfillment of self but for the glory of God, and for the good of others.

Love is expressed in self-control, patience, and even words left unsaid.

Waiting until I'm ready for commitment before pursuing romance is just one example of letting Christ's love control my relationships with the opposite sex. I'm learning to make God's Word, not my feelings, the guide.

True love is not measured or governed by feeling. By inflating the importance of feelings, we neglect the importance of putting love in action. When we evaluate the quality of our love for someone else simply by our own emotional fulfillment, we are being selfish. We express true love in obedience to God and service to others---not reckless or selfless behavior---and we choose these behaviors.

The joy of intimacy is the REWARD of commitment.

The best relationships are between two people who care more about each other's good than their own momentary pleasure.

True love waits. It waits for the right time to commit to God's brand of love---unwavering, unflagging, and totally committed. Committed. Sincere. Selfless. Responsible.

The Wycliff Bible Commentary says, "Love should not be stirred up before its proper time, because the love relationship, unless carefully guarded, may cause grief instead of the great joy it should bring to the human heart.

Basically, what Josh wants to impart in his book is to take into consideration the other person's view before God, specially his or her purity. We all know that getting into a relationship with the opposite sex expose us to being passionate and physically intimate with that person, which when not controlled leads us to sexual impurity. And when we commit such, we only not sin against God, but also ourselves. Other consequences are: we develop a guilt complex, negative consequences arise in your life, and your testimony is ruined.

from Passion and Purity

God's time for further revelation of the heart might come later. Tomorrow was not our business; it was His.

(On longing for that person and waiting in God's time for love) Taken in the right spirit, these things will give us patient endurance; this in turn will develop a mature character, and a character of this sort produces a steady hope, a hope that will never disappoint us. The effect of the troubles depends not on the nature of the trouble themselves but on how you receive them.

The deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our own way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able to honestly pray what He taught His disciples to pray: Thy will be done.
If you love someone, there are many things you will do for that person because you love him---not because it's what you'd prefer if love did not enter the picture.

It's the control of passion, not its eradication, that is needed.

On Elisabeth Elliot's Passion and Purity, this actually sums up to offering your love life and putting it under God's control, trusting Him that he will only give you the very best, and learning to wait in His time.

I just hope I could tell all of these to him, and hope he understands.

And to you my friend, "I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers." I Corinthians 1:16

Past Year's Recount (Last Part)

2005-01-03T13:24:00.000+08:00

So having gone through all of those troubles made me realize that I need God in every area of my life and so caused me to seek Him and get closer to Him. I have taken some steps to overcome all those guilts I'm carrying and all my awful feelings and the first thing I did is seek refuge in God through reading his word, praying, and help from Christian friends. Then I went to a retreat. An encounter with God retreat and from there we've had such activities like releasing all your worries and burdens and offering it to God, as well as forgiving the people who have wronged you including yourself. I wasn't able to ease off the weight of my burdens on those days I am on the retreat though. But in time, as I draw near to God and get involved in cell groups and group Bible studies, I was able to release everything.

So from there I was able to start everything anew, having left all of the disappointments and failures behind so I won't have any difficulties in going on and moving on, and decided to start off with a clean slate. And so I also decided to start this blog, so I can keep a record of my dealings online, and also to share it with everyone who gets to read it, and maybe this may serve as a testimony to them as well.

==================

Now, about the boyfriend thing, I don't allow myself to be pre-occupied by such thought as much as possible, though sometimes it just pops out of my mind. I have changed priorities, and so I have included that thing in one of those in the middle or bottom of my list. As what I have read in J. Harris's I Kissed Dating Goodbye book, I have make it a point to "Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matthew 6:33), and have that thing included in the "all these things" that would be added to me by the Lord if I work towards His kingdom and righteousness first. This means putting my faith and trust with God. I admit this is not really an easy task, realistically speaking, and so that's why I have learned to stand on grace. The song Shifting Sand by Caedmon's Call says this better.

Sometimes I believe all the lies
so I can do the things I should despise.
And everyday I am swayed
by whatever is on my mind.

I hear it all depends on my faith
so I'm feeling precarious.
The only problem I have with these
mysteries is they're so mysterious.

And like a consumer I've been thinkin'
if I could just get a bit more...
More than my fifteen minutes of faith,
Then I'd be secure...

My faith is like shifting sand,
changed by every wave...
My faith is like shifting sand
so I stand on grace...
Stand on grace.

I begged You for some proof
for my Thomas eyes to see.
A slithering staff, a leprous hand,
and lions resting lazily.

A glimpse of Your backside glory
on this soaked altar going ablaze.
But You know I've seen so much,
I explained it away...

My faith is like shifting sand
changed by every wave...
My faith is like shifting sand
so I stand on grace

Waters rose as my doubts reign
My sand castle faith have slipped away
I found myself standing on Your grace
It'd been there all the time

My faith is like shifting sand
changed by every wave...
My faith is like shifting sand
so I stand on grace...
Stand on grace.